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sad, scared, having twins...mini update post 22 - Page 2

post #21 of 28
I am so sorry that you are feeling low right now. I'm so glad you came here for positive feedback because it will be hard to get that from the medical community. Multiple pregancies CAN have problems but I know from expericence that it's possible for twin's to be born at home. Now granted my situation wasn't "normal" I had no ultrasound whatsoever and didn't know I was having twins until their birth. But when they were born, 30 minutes before their due date, they were (seperate sacs) 7.5 and 8.2 girl/boy, healthy, at home, a v-bac.

The other mom's have suggested some excellent books, read read if you can, come back here for support, keep your wonderful midwife and get a wonderfull doula too and they can go with you wherever you have your twins.

I lost 13 pounds during first trimester, so nauseous. Eat eat eat. Drink tons of raspberry leaf tea, water, pure foods only. And most importantly....

TWINS ARE AWESOME!!!! Yes it's hard work and especially the first 6 months are intense BUT it's just awesome. Double the giggles, double the loving kisses, and hey, double the oxytocin when you nurse together (AHHHH). It really has been an incredible experience for me.

Get help lined up for post partem. I had someone come to my house everyday for the first six weeks- family, friend, LLL member or neighbor. Lose any qualms about asking for help. Even for an hour, to help with whatever, from laundry, to filling my water bottle. If you can even remotely afford a nanny or mother's helper or have a helpful supportive relative who will stay with you, DO IT.

In a lot of ways, twins, especially once they can sit up and move around, are easier than singletons. They always have each other for playing and companionship. And my god are they cute. Mine are 18 months right now and I just can't comment enough on how fun it is to be with them.

Surround yourself in a bubble of positivity. If someone is bringing you down, limit your exposure whenever possible. Live healthy and don't let the stress affect your pregnancy.

____This triple naptime had been dedicated to Jude Rose - screw the laundry!
post #22 of 28
Thread Starter 
Wow.

Well, I'm back from my week-end which turned out to be the right decision. I was able to get support from RL moms as well as laugh and have distractions. Noone can believe there's two in there at this point, but I ate as much as I could knowing I need to gain.

Before I left, i showed DH this thread. I knew he could use some calming down too and was alone with his thoughts.
I came home to a couple bags of cashews and some protein drinks called MEga Milk and his big smile! He was all excited and positive and telling me to get online and tell you all how awesome you are. How cool is that?

So this week we'll take things one step at a time. I'll get my higher level physician appoitments, eat loads of protein, order some books and read research.

Thank you all so much for your input and I may just take some of you up on supplies! I'll P.M. if so.
post #23 of 28
I am so glad you are feeling more possitive! I know for me there are days when I stay in the "right mind" and days when I slip out and get sucked into the medical world. It really does help to try to stay in your bubble so to speak.

Huge to you DH he sounds like a real keeper! Give him a big hug and take a deep breath together. You'll both get wherever it is you need to go with this whole thing!
post #24 of 28

Congratulations!

Even though I did not have the same situation as you (my twins were fraternal, boy/girl, separate sacs/placentas of course) it is truly amazing and such a blessing to have our twins. I was very excited to find out we were having them, but then became very overwhelmed with the idea of parenting them! I already had two boys and did find out their genders to see if I was going to be a mother to four boys. I didn't exactly mind that, but I DID want to be emotionally prepared. Now they are almost three and it is a complete unique experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's like the great parenting moments are exponentially greater with two babies, not just twice as great. Hard to explain, but you'll see what we mean.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy...I'm so sorry for the grief of having to possibly let go of your birth plans but that doesn't mean it ALL needs to go out the window. You're in the right place for open-minded feedback and out-of-the-box thinking.
post #25 of 28
You know, I think for those of us who found out "later" in the pregnancy that we were having twins, it's a HUGE shock. I found out at a routine 18w u/s when all I was expecting was to find out if I was having a boy or a girl! And then the TTTS... anyway, I remember feeling shocked, sad, disappointed (all I wanted was one healthy baby and I just assumed I'd have two sick preemies). So it's totally normal what you're feeling. I think many of us have been there!

And don't forget to change your siggy to show your TWO blessings!
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude Rose View Post
Wow.
Before I left, i showed DH this thread. I knew he could use some calming down too and was alone with his thoughts.
I came home to a couple bags of cashews and some protein drinks called MEga Milk and his big smile! He was all excited and positive and telling me to get online and tell you all how awesome you are. How cool is that?
That just made me get all teary! What a good man you married. It sounds like he's going to be a great Daddy and a good support to you. Wonderful!
post #27 of 28
I clicked on this thread from the main Forums page and am out of place since I'm not a mom to twins nor am I pregnant with twins. But, I wanted to reply.

My baby is a healthy 6.5 months old girl but at our 20wk US we were told some bleak news. My home birth and other plans went out the window. We were sent to the specialty hospital and doctors 1.5-2 hours away from our home for monthly US and prenatal check ups. Month after month and then week after week, we were told horrifying possibilities about our baby's health. Every time we went to the doctor, he told us some new possibility. There was a long, long list of possibilities.

I just want to encourage you to not give up hope that your babies will be born healthy. I know it's scary and I know it's disappointing--but try your best to do all the lovely pregnancy stuff you want(ed) to do before you heard this news. The love, excitement, and support between you and your husband will be memories shared forever.
post #28 of 28


You are in the world of multiples-pregnancy now - and it can be a very scary place to be. But you are in a good forum to discuss your fears and concerns - as I am sure we all can relate. I myself remember the day I was told that what I thought would be a normal uncomplicated singleton pregnancy was going to be triplets. And I also recall the day I was told that my ID boys were in the same sac, were different weights, and they could not see a membrane separating them.

Take it one step at a time mama. You are at 21 weeks and have a ways to go. You'll likely be having another ultrasound to try and locate a membrane between your babies. It can be VERY hard to find the membrane. Took us a couple tries. But just a week or so ago I exchanged posts in this forum with a mom who delivered healthy twins that were same sac no membrane. My point is - bring your questions here - you will find answers and comfort.

And hold on . . . the PG part of multiples can be so overwhelming and scary . . . but the payoff can be awesome too . . .
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