Mothers spend as much time with their kids as 40 years ago & Fathers' time higher

[bczmama]

I wasn't finding this posted to the site, but thought others would find it to be some good news of interest...

From the NY Times...

"Despite the surge of women into the work force, mothers are spending at least as much time with their children today as they did 40 years ago, and the amount of child care and housework performed by fathers has sharply increased, researchers say in a new study, based on analysis of thousands of personal diaries.

“We might have expected mothers to curtail the time spent caring for their children, but they do not seem to have done so,” said one of the researchers, Suzanne M. Bianchi, chairwoman of the department of sociology at the University of Maryland. “They certainly did curtail the time they spent on housework.”"

Here's the link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/17/us...gin&oref=login

[Brigianna]

This seems a bit misleading. It sounds like they're only counting "time with children" as time actively exclusively engaging with children. So, sure, housework time would go down because of labor-saving devices and other things, but I would count mothers' housework time 40 yrs ago as "time with children" unless the children were out of the house or locked in another room or something. When I'm doing housework, my kids are still there, I'm still supervising them, I'm interacting with them. I don't think child-centered hours should be the only ones counted.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I would tend to agree. The mothers self-reported their activities, and didn't know that the researchers were studying time spent with children. (Obviously, knowing that would tend to make people over-report or exagerate time spent with children.) So a mom 40 years ago who reported that between 1-1:30 pm she was doing lunch dishes, probably didn't mention that she was also having a conversation with her 4 year old who was coloring at the kitchen table at the same time. So actual child interaction time was probably under-reported for SAHM's.

I *do* think WOHM's make a huge effort to spend one-on-one time with their kids -- sacrificing housework and time with their partners. They probably do spend as much "quality" time as moms 40 years ago, and they can be great moms. I'm NOT against moms working outside the home! My only objection to the study is that I think it *does* downplay -- no, it actually discounts -- the casual interactions of parents and children when the parents are engaged in other activities at the same time. One-on-one time is essential, but the "just being around" time counts too, for both working and SAH parents.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

This seems a bit misleading. It sounds like they're only counting "time with children" as time actively exclusively engaging with children.

I heard an interview with one of the researchers on NPR, and she said that one of the differences between now and 40 years ago is that now parents are MORE likely to multitask. The diaries included a "primary activity" and a "secondary activity" for each time slot, so the parents could write down that they were making dinner while helping a child with homework or whatever. They also had to list all the people who were present while they were doing the acitivity, so even if they didn't list child care as the actitity, it counted if their kids were in the room.

The researcher also said that parents are more likely to include their children in the leisure time. Forty years ago adult leisure was much less likely to be kid friendly, but now many families spend their leisure time together.

[mata]

Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties

I *do* think WOHM's make a huge effort to spend one-on-one time with their kids -- sacrificing housework and time with their partners. They probably do spend as much "quality" time as moms 40 years ago, and they can be great moms.

yeah, I agree with that-the wohms I know really make that time count. I often wonder if I would be as good at it as they are-when I got home from work I didn't want to talk to anyone for at least 2 hours-let alone get engaged in a high energy activity w/kids. And the wohms I know can't wait to have time with their kids, which is really nice. Their children are really excited to see them everyday-mine are used to me always being around.

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

I heard an interview with one of the researchers on NPR, and she said that one of the differences between now and 40 years ago is that now parents are MORE likely to multitask. The diaries included a "primary activity" and a "secondary activity" for each time slot, so the parents could write down that they were making dinner while helping a child with homework or whatever. They also had to list all the people who were present while they were doing the acitivity, so even if they didn't list child care as the actitity, it counted if their kids were in the room.

The researcher also said that parents are more likely to include their children in the leisure time. Forty years ago adult leisure was much less likely to be kid friendly, but now many families spend their leisure time together.

I'm sure that's true about the leisure activities, but what were the children of these sahms 40 yrs ago doing all day while their mothers did housework? That seems off to me.

[maya44]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

I'm sure that's true about the leisure activities, but what were the children of these sahms 40 yrs ago doing all day while their mothers did housework? That seems off to me.

1. Playing outside with other kids (no adult supervision quite often)

2. Playing at a neighbor's house or having neighbor play at your house (very little adult supervision)

3. Playing with sibling. My brothers and I often did this. I rememeber my mom being downstairs doing laundry alot (not near us not interacting) or vacumming (no interaction) or doing the dishes in kitchen while we were plaing in attic.

4. Watching T.V., no there is not as much as on today but my brothers and I watched Bozo's circus, Romper Room, Ding Dong School House, Captain Kangaroo etc...

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Originally Posted by maya44

1. Playing outside with other kids (no adult supervision quite often)

2. Playing at a neighbor's house or having neighbor play at your house (very little adult supervision)

3. Playing with sibling. My brothers and I often did this. I rememeber my mom being downstairs doing laundry alot (not near us not interacting) or vacumming (no interaction) or doing the dishes in kitchen while we were plaing in attic.

4. Watching T.V., no there is not as much as on today but my brothers and I watched Bozo's circus, Romper Room, Ding Dong School House, Captain Kangaroo etc...

Items 1-3 are often lamented as a loss in our busy, supposedly more dagerous modern lives, aren't they?

Come to think of it, my kids spend *hours* playing with eachother with very little interaction from me at certain times of the day.

[Brigianna]

I know there was more unsupervised play in those days, but it doesn't seem like it would be that much of a difference.... who knows?

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties

Items 1-3 are often lamented as a loss in our busy, supposedly more dagerous modern lives, aren't they?

Come to think of it, my kids spend *hours* playing with eachother with very little interaction from me at certain times of the day.

Yeah, if I had to choose, I would say that the old days were better for children, if not for homemakers.

It's always interesting what they choose to measure...

[LiamnEmma]

My mom stayed at home with us but we interacted with her very minimally. We interacted with each other (not always positively and with many injuries to ourselves and each other) and we played by ourselves, but our mother had very little to do with us. She was always mentally absent. I'd say I spend far more time engaged with my children than she spent engaged with us and she'd agree. And that was 40 years ago.

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by LiamnEmma

My mom stayed at home with us but we interacted with her very minimally. We interacted with each other (not always positively and with many injuries to ourselves and each other) and we played by ourselves, but our mother had very little to do with us. She was always mentally absent. I'd say I spend far more time engaged with my children than she spent engaged with us and she'd agree. And that was 40 years ago.

Kinda the same. My sahm didn't play with us (1970s). She read a lot. Cooked. Gardened. Watched soap operas. I wouldn't say she was mentally absent, we could seek her out and talk to her if we wanted, but we'd get pretty bored watching her cook casoroles while listening to NPR. So instead we spent out days playing with each other (2 siblings). We had an amazing childhood with hardly any adult supervision and mostly without injuries. I totally believe that the average kid of woh parents today spends more time in a room with his/her parents than the average kids of sahms of years past.

I simply want more time with my kids then my mom and dad wanted with theirs. And that is a cultural shift (so much of my generation feels this way). Doesn't make our parents bad - just a different time, just a different culture. In fact, I think the intense relationship parents form with their kids today will have its own drawbacks (as well as its own benefits).

[LiamnEmma]

I simply want more time with my kids then my mom and dad wanted with theirs. And that is a cultural shift (so much of my generation feels this way). Doesn't make our parents bad - just a different time, just a different culture. In fact, I think the intense relationship parents form with their kids today will have its own drawbacks (as well as its own benefits).

ITA

[Hazelnut]

I've read this before somewhere and it makes sense to me. I think parents in general (and esp. wohms I'm guessing, since they are home less) are more intent on spending quality time with their kids. I think the "housewife" expectations have eased up these days when one is watching kids. My mom stayed home and I think she was as much of a "housewife" as she was a sahm. She had a hot dinner on the table every night and did quite a lot of housework. And I watchd a lot of TV. I don't know anyone now whose spouse expects them to whip up a hot dinner every night while watching young toddlers. And my dad did not expect a lot from her, but that was just the sahm role back then.
Also, when I was young (70s) all the moms in our neighborhood were sahms, so there was a lot of socializing going on among them. I think they had a nice community going, but I don't think she was concerned about coming home to spend time with me. I was expected to go and play by myself.

[Storm Bride]

My mom spent a lot of time with us (took us to parks, walks in the canyon, etc.). We also "helped" her with a lot of things around the house...making cookies, making root beer, gardening, etc. But, we also spent hours running around the neighbourhood, playing with the local kids, hiding under bushes, etc. My mom wasn't typical of the moms we knew, either - if she had a choice between taking the kids to the park, or having a clean house, it was park day.

I spent every second I had with ds1. I was a WOHM at that time, and I resented every minute that my job kept me from him. I took him shopping, took him to the bank, took him everywhere...I hated shopping for his Christmas gifts, because he couldn't come with me. I think he probably got as much direct interaction with me as my little ones do now. But, we didn't get the casual little day-to-day interactions, and I so love that aspect of being a SAHM.

[Brigianna]

If I had oodles of $$ and an "institute" at my disposal to do studies for me, I would love to see a study like this of 40 yrs ago vs. today, measuring how many hours of time did kids 40 yrs ago spend in control of their own activities and how many hours having their activities dictated to them, and then the same question for today. That would be interesting.

[Storm Bride]

Brigianna: Where would you fit in scheduled activities that were the child's own idea? DS1 will be taking up his guitar lessons and his Tae Kwon Do again in the near future - that's 2.5 hours/week, plus travel, plus practice for both. These are both things that he really wants to do, though...

[Brigianna]

I don't know. I'm not really cut out to be a researcher.

I was just thinking that probably the biggest difference between childhood 40 yrs ago and childhood today is that kids 40 yrs ago had (I think) much more free independent time, while kids today start school/preschool/daycare so young and have so many more sports, extracurriculars, after-school programs, etc...

And (now I'm making a lot of ass-umptions about the intent of this study, so I could of course be wrong), but I'm guessing the point is "there's nothing wrong with having 2 working parents because you're still spending the same amount of time with your kids as 40 yrs ago so it's all the same." Which may be true, but it ignores what is my biggest concern about the current child-rearing culture, which is not that kids don't spend enough time interacting with parents, but that they have lost that freedom that kids in the past had due to scheduling, academic pressure, safety concerns, etc.

I know a lot of kids choose those activities and things, but a lot of kids don't, and at a societal level I think that's problematic.

[choli]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

I'm sure that's true about the leisure activities, but what were the children of these sahms 40 yrs ago doing all day while their mothers did housework? That seems off to me.

Playing outside with other kids, probably. That's what I was doing, anyway...

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

I know a lot of kids choose those activities and things, but a lot of kids don't, and at a societal level I think that's problematic.

I think it is, too. I see a lot of pressure on a lot of kids and it makes me sad. I like to expose ds1 to lots of things, because I don't know where his real interests will be. (This is a problem in our family - none of us ever know "what we want to be when we grow up" - even when we are "grown up"!) But, I never put him in any scheduled activities until he requested Cub Scouts at age eight. I enjoy free range kids...maybe because I have such fond memories of being one...