Have you tried just making an observation (without asking or pressuring or expectation) -- "I thought you might be hungry, there is _______ for you that I put ____ (on the table, on the bottom shelf of the fridge, in this baggie etc) Maybe that would help? Have you tried foods that are really easy to get in him to stop hunger quickly? In other words, maybe he likes the nursing (not only because it's from mama
) but because it is like a liquid meal which he is used to filling him up quickly? Have you tried smoothies? They can be really healthy -- or if it isn't a *cuddle* issue, maybe you could pump and have some bm available to him if he wants some?
Sorry if you have tried those things, just thought I would take a shot ---
On the other issues raised --- I just have to repeat that no one I know who *doesn't* have food rules makes more than one dinner (unless they choose to, want to, or there are severe allergies etc) --- I know I don't make more than one dinner and I don't plan to in the future. There are tons of things our daughter will happily eat which are nutritious, tasty, and very quick to prepare/make/serve --- I just need to clarify that because that is the big thing I hear when the discussion of food comes up regarding children and honoring their autonomy as it relates to it "I'm not a short order cook!!!" "I can't let them eat dessert for dinner!!!" and all that ---
On that issue, I have no problem with dessert before dinner, or dessert as the whole meal or dessert all day long --- for two reasons --- it has never happened and I don't see it happening. I have found in my own daughter and have observed in other children raised in this manner relating to food, that when food holds no *power*, when it evokes no strong emotions or arguements or power struggles, when it has no allure (other than maybe the taste of it) -- it is unlikely a child will actively choose to eat ding dongs all day -- especially since their palates are already used to certain foods --- and as addictive as some foods can be, I assert that the same types of foods can be seen as too
sweet or rich or not appealing to someone who's already developed a taste and familiarity and a positive connection to *healthy* foods.
In addition, one piece of cake never gave someone diabetes. One serving of chips never made someone fat. Once piece of cheesecake never gave someone heart disease. Yes, these things are not the *healthiest* of items, and are not regular visitors in our home -- but I we can all agree ( I think and hope ) that the occasional, rare item like this in an otherwise healthy, nutritious, balanced diet including exercise is not the creator or cause of a nation of health problems and obesity.
In my humble opinion, having our daughter be a witness to the occasional, responsibly consumed "treat", and seeing that it is not abused, seeing that while it is enjoyed, it is done so in moderation, with responsibility before returning back to our regular, healthier diet is better than the "eat as I say not as I eat" attitude I see a lot.
Babe needs me more later!