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*really* young mommas!

post #1 of 373
Thread Starter 
i was wondering if there were any other *really* young mommas out there. i am 21 and on my 3rd. we started at 17 (18 when she was born). i'd love to get to know some younger moms or moms who have been through it to discuss in particular the stigma society places on us being so young.
post #2 of 373
I know I count for this one!
I got pregnant with DS at 16. He was due on my 17th birfday but came almost two weeks later, giving mama more time to grow up.
Then, this past May, at 18 I got pregnant,but lost the baby in July, at weeks due to low progesterone b/c of breastfeeding. The pregnancy was a surprise, like my DS's.
THEN I am now 9 weeks pregnant with yet another surprise(DP and I have, as my mom like to say, a 100% failure rate when it comes to birth control!)
I am a midwifery apprentice, a doula and a happy womyn.
We moved into our first apartment in August(thank goddess b/c living with my family, who is very cool and I love- drove me nuts! : )
And today, a little kitten joined our family...yes, another surprise!!!
There are ups and downs, but overall I love being a young mama!
post #3 of 373
We planned my DD and I got pregnant at 18.5 and she was born 2 months after I turned 19. I'm now 20.5 and we are planning our second. The half year mark must get me.

Most people are pretty good about it but I get a ton of "how to's" in the tone of I'm too young to know what I'm doing. Irritating as hell.
post #4 of 373
not sure if I count or not, but I figured if not you guys can just kick me out
I got pregnant with DD at 19 and just had her in August (age 20). People were fairly judgemental when I was pregnant, but now that shes here I don't get as many comments or looks (besides the ones i get for NIP and babywearing....and overall just being crunchy LOL)
The only thing that bugs me is that most moms I meet that are my age are not into AP parenting. Most are not even breastfeeding, and think I'm weird. So I'm sorta stuck with no friends, I'm too young to hang out with any AP mamas I meet (who are usually in their late 20s or 30s and live in nicer parts of town/other towns....I live in a somewhat poor area of town),or I have nothing in common with moms I meet who live near me and are my age....sigh.
anyways, hi fellow young mamas!
and again, if I'm over that age cusp of VERY young, feel free to let me know!
post #5 of 373
Thread Starter 
yay! i'm not the only one! lol

we get sooooo much crap. i love when people find out we're 21 and pregnant and they try and tell us what we need to do and blah blah blah and we smile and say 'well, this is our third' and they look faint. and when you add our crunchiness to the mixture well then we're just young and naive and raising spoiled brats.

but we still love being young. if no just to prove them wrong. lol
i agree that most teen moms are anything but AP. i was shopping for birthday stuff for my oldest who just turned 3 and i ran into a young mom who was totally ignoring hr daughter. well her daughter (prob. about 2) was trying to get her attention and yelled at her and the mom grabbed a bag of ballons off he shelf and started hitting her over the head with it. she urned around and i just shook my head at her and walked away. ACK!!
post #6 of 373
i got pg with ds just a few days shy of turning 20. im 23 now and have an almost 3 year old and a 4 month old!! my second was (purposefully) concieved on my first pp ovulation. tbh i dont consider myself a "young" mama (maybe its just that the kids have aged me lol), but i know by our societies standards i am!! i had both my kids at home. my 1st was born smack dab in the middle of my midwifery training, so that got put off a bit. i finally just got my license in june ( a week before dd was born!) and since sept have been workibg pt (2 days call/one day clinic a week) at the birth center that i have worked with in varying capacities for almost 4 years. it is perfect bc i am home waay more than i am not (my 2 days of call are spent at home, unless of course i go to a birth, but i get paid for them either way), and that along with my 2 nights a week cbe classes gives us enough money so dp only has to work 2 days a week, so he is home when i am not and we get a lot of time together as a family. not to mention the fact that i LOOOOOOOVE my job!! i feel sometimes like i have to defend the fact that i have 2 kids and work a (percieved to be) stressful job, but it works so well in our family, and we are all really happy.
post #7 of 373
I got pg at 18 had her at 19. just htought I'd say hi.
post #8 of 373
post #9 of 373
Thread Starter 
so how old are your DH/SOs? Robbie is 20 (a few months younger than me).
post #10 of 373
Hi guys, I'm not a young mama anymore, in fact I'm nearing 33 now, but I totally wanted to sneak in here & say something. Then I'll go back to my "old lady mama" threads.

1. OMG I would have been SOOoOSOOoo happy to have had something like MDC back when I had my dd at age 17 (there was no internet back then). I was ecstatic to become a mama. I was AP, used cloth diaps & co-slept etc. LONG before I heard the term "AP". I knew absolutely no one who parented like me for many, many years. An online board such as this would have been such a blessing. You guys are super lucky. I'm so glad you are here!

2. I also had a tough time finding friends. I didn't even begin to feel like I related to other mamas until I was about 30. I had my dd at 17 then my ds at 23 & was a super happy AP young mama. When I reached 30 I felt like other women were *finally* catching up to me, finally having their 1st babies, & I finally started meeting other mamas that parented like me. Otherwise, most of my friends were childless & now & then it would make me really sad that I couldn't find mama friends.

Anyway, um, now I can't remember if I had a real point or if I was just gonna babble about myself.

Rock on with your bad selves young mamas.
post #11 of 373
Hey all! I am so glad there are other young mamas around. I am 24 and so is dh.

Now that ds is in school, people ask how old I am all the time. People can be so rude. I love telling them and then watching their faces as they do the math in their heads..."that means she was 19 when she had him".

post #12 of 373
Hi everyone!
I'm 22 . I have a 4.5yo DS and a 2yo DD. I love being a young mama! But i hate being called a "MILF".
post #13 of 373
kristen-- just looked at your blog/photos-- you are such a cute little family!
post #14 of 373
Hi there from a once really young mama I am 27, now, but I had my first child at 19, then #2 at 22, then #3 at almost 25, and #4 at 26. What I really love is when people try to give me advice when the baby and I are out and about, and I'm like you should see the other 3 at home I look young for my age anyhow, so people are super suprised when they find out how many kids I have. Just thought I would say hi, and tell ya that still at 27 I "feel" the stigma thay b/c I'm young that I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Good luck, all you young mamas, you've got a running start already, just by finding this place!

post #15 of 373
Ok, I'll bite! I'm Clara. I'm almost 23 and I have 4 kids. I had dd1 at 16, ds1 at 17, ds2 at 19 and dd2 at 21! EVERYONE thinks I'm crazy! Yes, they all have the same dad, yes I know what "causes" them, and yes I'm a great mom! I love being a young mom. I recover from childbirth super fast, I have lots of energy to play crazy games with my kids, and I'm still young enough to remember what it was like to be a kid - which is a big plus I think! I've always been mature for my age, and I feel like I know more and have more experience than people twice my age. Part of the problem is that people look at most kids my age, or think how they were at my age, and assume I'm just irresponsible. I'm not! Oh, dh is 27. We've been married almost 7 years. I love being a mom!

Lizzo, I had no idea you were "young"! I've always admired your posts, esp. how you are a midwife etc. It's awesome, you're even younger than me!

It's so cool to see 2 young midwives on here! It is my dream to be a midwife. I'm hoping I could get the online school out of the way and then when I can get my apprenticeship done. My dh is going to school to be a firefighter. Once he gets a job, he'll have a lot of days off. I'm hoping we can work it so that I can do shifts with my midwife while he's home. Do any of you have opinions on the Ancient Art of Midwifery Institute? It's all online. I don't think I could swing it to go to school outside of the home.

Anyways, it's awesome to see all you wonderful "young" mamas on here. We've had a couple of young mama tribes but they always fizzle out. Maybe we could keep this one going? Have a great day!
post #16 of 373
Thread Starter 
cfiddlinmama- i love you! lol i'm in a very similar boat and we alway get the 'are you married?' 'are they all from the same father?' 'are you on welfare?' ACK! we didn't really *want* 3 at 21 but we love our kiddos and wouldn't change anything ever!
post #17 of 373
I had dd at 20, which is fairly young I suppose. I'm 22 now, getting closer to 23. I don't feel young, and didn't then... and to add to the fun, dp is a lot older than me. He just turned 38. It's a non-issue for us, and honestly I'm suprised how little we've heard about it. Nobody seems to have an issue with it, which is fabulous. In fact, he's the one that needs to grow up.

People seem to find my crunchiness a lot more objectional, sadly. My mom just went on another rant the other day, this time about co-sleeping... and how so-n-so friend of hers is trying to get their 2.5 yr old out of their room and into his own bed, and are having trouble. She always has a friend to use as an example how something I am doing is bad. The difference is, I'm not going to try and kick dd out of the bed, ever. She can go into her own room when she's ready.
...but I guess I'm rambling about that on the wrong thread, eh? oopsie.

Overall point being... I think the reason why having babies young is often objectional is that we're viewed as not being ready to care for babies, haven't grown up yet ourselves, whatever. Which sometimes may be true, but also may be true for a 35-year-old. Everybody is different. I don't think anybody on this board who very likely has the capacity to think for themselves is going to be that type of person. My sister, who is 37, would be a horrible candidate for being a mother. She still parties all the time and basically can only think about herself. She wouldn't have a clue, and probably never will. I did at 20.

I've never seen the benefits of judging someone solely on age.
post #18 of 373
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
cfiddlinmama- i love you! lol i'm in a very similar boat and we alway get the 'are you married?' 'are they all from the same father?' 'are you on welfare?' ACK! we didn't really *want* 3 at 21 but we love our kiddos and wouldn't change anything ever!
I can't believe people will actually ask you that! How incredibly RUDE!

I often hear (from people I know), "Where are you gonna get married?"

... except I don't really believe in marriage. I am not unwed because I'm young, or anything to do with the state of our relationship. I am unwed because I don't find it important, and I don't agree with the system. People really shouldn't make assumptions and mind their own damn business.

post #19 of 373
You all make me feel old, but it makes me happy to see this thread! I am 22 and pg with #1. DH and I are in school (same school) and we have zero married friends. We're having kids before anyone we know is getting married. I'm graduating in May, but I kind of recently figured out that I want to be a midwife or childbirth educator or something in that field. Makes it hard to finish the stupid engineering degree that I have no plans of ever using... I don't know if I'll be able to make it happen in the near future because we want lots of kids and I plan to homeschool, but it is encouraging to see young mamas on being midwives.
post #20 of 373
Thread Starter 
i have noticed that most young people i know aren't married and don't want kids, even if they have them. (the teen pregnancy rate in my area is huuuuge). others seem to take that part of youth in America and apply it to everyone. so we couldn't possibly *want* to be married or have children. it must be because we made a big mistake and are paying for it. eeeediots!
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