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*really* young mommas! - Page 10

post #181 of 373

Omg

I believe my aunt and uncle were hoping i'd give up my first baby to them. They were trying to adopt and it fell through. Suddenly they were super interested in me. They came by the house every day for the last month and for a couple months after i had her. If they didn't come by they would call and apologize. I would be sleeping in my room w/ Teryn and wake up to them standing there watching us sleep. They would almost take over any time they were around and wouldn't give her back to me or let me be the mama. I remember crying after they left every time. I would hide in my room and have my mom tell them i wasn't home or we were sleeping from a long day. That was one of the worst things i had to deal w/ being young (and single i suppose).[/QUOTE]


Wow, what an ordeal! People lurking around trying to steal your baby! What a way to congratulate and nurture a new mama! Despicable!
post #182 of 373
the story above is really quite awful!!!! I read a very similar true story in the book Breeders, by Ariel Gore and Bee Lavender (love 'em!).

I had my DD at 23 and I think it was a great age to have kids. I first got preg before that at 21 (or was it 22) and had an abortion because of all the assumptions and misconceptions related to young parenting "I'm gonna grow old so fast", "I won't be able to do anything anymore", "I will not be able to support this baby", and everything else this society leads us to believe. I was in a foreign country without my family, and super scared. Finally, before making the decision, we tried for some family support by mentioning to my MIL that we were planning on having kids, and she was very negative about it, "you are not ready for it", "you won't get any help", "you are not yet responsible financially", plus I didn't know any other young moms (my peers back then were VERY into the stupid child-free idea/movement) so there I went to the clinic...
I really regret it, it was a very painful, emotionally and physically, a very horrible way of finding out I was wrong.
I got pregnant shortly after the abortion, as in my baby saying, "here I am again! have you thought it thru this time?". So I was like, "F* it, I'm gonna do this". Needless to say, I am the happiest person now!

I wonder if there are any threads/tribes/such on here about abortion. I know it's not a very "Mothering" subject (in fact I know several moms here are pro-life and I'm fine with that) but to be honest, I felt like that was the experience that really made me want to become a mother.
post #183 of 373
mind if i join??

i was 16 when i had my first, 18 for my 2nd, 20 for my 3rd, im 24 now preg again, they're almost 8, 5, and almost 4 now, yikes!
i did get married to my oldests dad when she was 3mts, we're currently in the process of getting divorced though now
i wanted to be a mom as long as i can remember, i wanted atleast 4 kids, 1 boy and 3 girls...boy first, then girl, then twin girls, lol!! seriously! i was 10! what can i say!? i wasn't super picky about the order *really*, just that i wanted 4. i gave up on it last sept/oct because id just had back-to-back m/ and was having other medical issues, but i don't believe in birth control so surprise surprise! managed to keep this one with prog supplements even after my hcg had taken a drop, just before finding out we'd decided to get divorced, we had 'seperated' in december but still lived together, and obviously dtd on occasion, but decided for him to move out an end it completely, then i find out im preg again! he's moved out though, though we still get along well and hes still planning to come to the birth n such, just that part of "us" is o-v-e-r!
post #184 of 373
Thread Starter 
i'm so excited to see this thread still going!
i have really loved reading all the new posts and i completely understand and relate.
post #185 of 373
I am a 22 year old (married) mother of 4. Mine are 4, 8, 11, and 13 - though my oldests are adopted. Most people just assume because of the manner in which my husband and I carry on that we are in our later 30's though.
post #186 of 373
hi there! young mama here.. 21 had ds at 20 he's about to be a year old
post #187 of 373
I'll jump in here.

I had my oldest at 17, 2nd at 19 and now I'm 21 and due with my 3rd in November. Dh is 21 too (I'm 19 days older ) We've been together since we were 14 so if you don't count age we had a decent "dating time" before having babies. Haha.

I wouldn't give up my kids for anything. I actually haven't had much negative comments (to my face anyway) and our families have always been very supportive of us.

Once I was getting my hair cut when ds#1 was 6 months old and somehow my age came out (18) and the stylist seriously had the nerve to ask if I knew who ds's father was. : Yeah my husband. She turned BRIGHT RED and didn't really talk the rest of the cut. Some people just shouldn't talk.
post #188 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheapPearls View Post
I'll jump in here.

Once I was getting my hair cut when ds#1 was 6 months old and somehow my age came out (18) and the stylist seriously had the nerve to ask if I knew who ds's father was. : Yeah my husband. She turned BRIGHT RED and didn't really talk the rest of the cut. Some people just shouldn't talk.
I had a similar moment. My husband was picking up from work and I was asked , "Oh, is this your baby's daddy?" I said, "uh, yeah, this is my husband."
post #189 of 373
Well, I had my first the day before I turned 24, and will have the second when I'm still 24... Go figure! I know I said I wanted to be done with kids by 25 but I guess fate took that quite literally. (My husband is a year older than me.)

My issue is not that I'm so young but that I *look* very young. I was often in the hospital with my pg and I always got the shocked and rude comments... some very rude nurses actually talked about me within earshot, saying how it's a shame that 15 year olds and such are having babies... like sheesh. And I honestly don't think I look *15* but whatever.


I also had a therapeutic termination at age 19. Before my medical issues developed I was very happy with the pg and definitely would have had him/her even though I would have been a single mother. My (STUPID) doctors told me that I had no choice but to terminate, and I was too sick to do the research myself.
post #190 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by goosedown77 View Post
I believe my aunt and uncle were hoping i'd give up my first baby to them. They were trying to adopt and it fell through. Suddenly they were super interested in me. They came by the house every day for the last month and for a couple months after i had her. If they didn't come by they would call and apologize. I would be sleeping in my room w/ Teryn and wake up to them standing there watching us sleep. They would almost take over any time they were around and wouldn't give her back to me or let me be the mama. I remember crying after they left every time. I would hide in my room and have my mom tell them i wasn't home or we were sleeping from a long day. That was one of the worst things i had to deal w/ being young (and single i suppose).

Wow, what an ordeal! People lurking around trying to steal your baby! What a way to congratulate and nurture a new mama! Despicable! [/QUOTE]

Thats sad and I'm sorry you had to go through that

I've seen adoption message boards that have some ads like these "Any teen moms in trouble? We'd love to adopt your child" Like if you are young or a teen mom you automatically dont want your child:
post #191 of 373
Jumping in

I love this tribe!

I just turned 22 had my lil one when I was 21 hes 6 months now. So maybe not *really* young. But I relate to a lot of the posts. I dont get any negative comments mostly all positive (as been said, at least not to my face). I do have a hard time finding other young AP moms. I have great friends who are also young mothers but they dont do ANY of the things I do and actually do some stuff I really disagree with. That has been kind of hard. Im a SAHM thanks to my mother letting us live with her. My son was planned but sometimes I feel weird telling people that since I think almost everyone thinks it probably was an accident. But all I ever new since I was little was that I wanted to be a mom more then anything else. We want to have more or possibly adopt also. I wish I knew more AP young mothers.
post #192 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by truemists View Post
My issue is not that I'm so young but that I *look* very young. I was often in the hospital with my pg and I always got the shocked and rude comments... some very rude nurses actually talked about me within earshot, saying how it's a shame that 15 year olds and such are having babies... like sheesh.
That happened to my Mum at the hospital when she had me, and to my sister when she had my nephew My Mum wasn't even that young, she was 22, but she looked much younger with her braces, tiny frame and no makeup. At least one nurse gave her a hard time and didn't believe she was married - as if she would lie about it
post #193 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnBreeze View Post
Sheila. I will be 25 in October.
oh yeah I guess thats right, I was thinking you meant you were 22 now :
Sometimes I forget our babies weren't just born :
post #194 of 373
I suppose I'll jump in too. I was 18 when I became pg with dd#1. I call her my engagement present because she was concieved either the night that dh proposed to me or the day after. She was born when I was 19. DD#2 was concieved when I was 20 born when I was 21. When I was 22 I became pg again and would've been due Christmas eve at age 23, but had a miscarraige. Now I'm 25. Became pregnant with this little person when I was 24 and am due in early/mid Dec. I seem to have a pattern there haha and none of them were exactly planned, but all of them have been welcome.
post #195 of 373
I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first, 20 when he was born. Not super young, but definately got the "you don't know what your doing" attitude.

My last baby was born this April, 4 months before my 30th birthday. Now I get the "OMG! You don't look old enough to have FIVE!" responses.

I like the responses better, because I know they are being condescending and I feel justified responding. Whereas before, I wasn't always 100% sure if people were judging me or I was just expecting them to. KWIM?
post #196 of 373
I'm a 21 year old Mother of 2. I first got pg at 18, lost that one. Got pg at 19 lost that one. Got pg again at 19 and had DD 2 months after I turned 20. Had DS 2 months ago. Growing up I always wanted to be a wife and mother. If I hadn't gotten married at 18 I probably would have looked into becoming a midwife. Now I'm content to be a SAHM.
post #197 of 373
hey everyone!

I had first DD when I was 18,2nd DD in July of this year. I am 20 years old married to hubby who is 26. YAY to meet other moms like me lol. Emi
post #198 of 373
Wow we definitely have a good community of young moms here! I love it.
post #199 of 373
Here's another young mama!

I got pregnant right after I turned 19. It wasn't planned and it was very difficult for me, but in the end it was the best thing that EVER happened to me! It took my life in a completely different direction to say the least. Now DD is 9 months old and I'm 20. The hardest things about being a young mom I find are 1. I have no friends, really and 2. People don't seem to think I know what I'm doing, especially with all the crunchiness, ie "you do know you're supposed to wean her, right?" ... "uhh, no." LOL.

hi to the other young mamas!
post #200 of 373
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