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*really* young mommas! - Page 13

post #241 of 373
I'm glad I found this thread! I was looking around for one like this! I had Jamie a few weeks after I turned 19. DP is 24. I feel a little weird going out in public with DS, because I assume that people think I'm a poor, single mom (not that that's bad, but I don't want people to think I'm something I'm not) and I look younger than I am. People have told me I look like I'm 15. I live in the south, and relatives have told me that there's more young moms here than up north, where I used to live (is that true?) No one has said anything mean to me yet, though. All positive comments, especially when he's in the sling I feel kinda weird about joining mama groups, though, even though I joined a few local ones. I haven't been to any meetings yet, but that's more of a transportation issue than anything. Anyone want to trade AIM screennames? I'm trying to find some mama friends and it would be great to talk to someone around my age, maybe who even has kids who are older or around the same age as my LO.
post #242 of 373

At last!

I am so happy to have found this Forum! I felt so alone in a sea full of mamas who think they know more cause they are older! I bf my DD, use CD and wear my babe! I know plenty of older moms who are doing crazy things like feeding their kids french fries and letting them guzzle soft drinks. I had my DD at 19 and eveyone thought I'd be just some dumb young girl trying to party it up instead of being a good mommy, boy did I prove them wrong! I put my own mother to shame with my parenting skills.
post #243 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeeNice21 View Post
I am so happy to have found this Forum! I felt so alone in a sea full of mamas who think they know more cause they are older! I bf my DD, use CD and wear my babe! I know plenty of older moms who are doing crazy things like feeding their kids french fries and letting them guzzle soft drinks. I had my DD at 19 and eveyone thought I'd be just some dumb young girl trying to party it up instead of being a good mommy, boy did I prove them wrong! I put my own mother to shame with my parenting skills.
Right on

I want to write more but DS wants me to watch him eat - when I don't and he wants me to he tears my nipples apart and bangs on my chest so brb
post #244 of 373
Maybe I can get some support here from all your lovely strong ladies.

I'm 21, so not young, young. I never partied, or got into that 'wild' stage all teenagers are 'seposed' to. My partner and I have been together for 3 years, and are getting married in June, just for fun really....we don't really care for marriage, but it would be nice to bond our love in words.

We don't want children yet, ok, he doesn't and our finances don't, but I do. If we had kids now, we would both be elated, I've been off birthcontrol for 2.5 years now.

I've been studying everything to do with child rearing for atleast 2 years. I've been a nanny for 3, worked in a daycare, as a new born photographer, my mom owns a daycare...you get the idea. I'm ready. Very emotionally ready.

My DP and I have had long engadging convos on how to CD, non-vax, non-circ, family bed, home birth...you get it. We scoured all angles, and I feel we both know what we want, and understand how to acheive those dreams.

YET,

Everyone around me, puts me down for being vegan and even thinking about children! I honestly think if I got pregnant right now (heres to hoping), that I would be able to grow a backbone and tell those naysayers to push off. But since they are all in their BTDT mind set, they cannot even fathum my choices. I mean I guess I could shut my trap and get baby dancing, but that isn't my personality.

Anyways, I've been searching all over MDC for 4 hours about where to post for support, and I think this is my best chance thus far.

One of my good friends, whom I should probably just stop being friends with, tells me I wont 'find' myself until 25, because that's when everyone she knows did. I found myself at 18 thankyouverymuch when my mother kicked me out of the home and I learned to fend for myself.

Basically, I feel I have no support.

Hugs please.
post #245 of 373
Hesperia, Join us yearning mothers to be in the Not Mothers Yet tribe. You will get lots of love and support there. Some of us are young, some older, all of us want to be mamas but aren't for whatever reason.
I am 'ready' to have kids other than the fact that I need to finish school and work and I am UTTERLY single. However, I am 21 as well, despite the fact that I have; been living on my own, supporting myself, running a household and being a very functional human being, and I support women through childbirth, and the transition into motherhood, (and am quite good at it, I might add) and the fact that I spent three years raising other peoples kids and keeping their houses (a full time nanny), if I got pregnant now all of my friends and family would just lose it! Despite the fact that I have already done a tonne of travelling, attended university, found my calling, worked many serious 'grown up jobs', and created a lovely life where I grow my own food and have fixed up an awfully lovely little house, when my mother had done none of this by the time I was born other than the university thing, and the finding her calling thing, and many folks my age still smoke pot in their parents basement. And some of the 21 yr old mamas on here are among those who I respect and admire the most. So hopefully we can throw out the golden standard that we all 'find ourselves at 25'. Because that is an idea that has obviously been proven wrong. Dont get me wrong I've met a lot of irresponsible young girls who've gotten pregnant and not been mature enough to handle and the whole thing has been a disasterous mess, however those are certain people and I bet things would have turned out a lot better if they had better support.
I have gone through all the phases, just rather quickly. I went through my rebellious teenager phases, partying phases, hippy phases, punk phases, vegetarian phases, business-like phases, whatever... and come out to be a well rounded and secure woman. Some of the 35 yr old women with houses and partners have not been ready to be a mama (emotionally) in the way that I am. At least I think so.
That being said I need to establish myself and umm... find a partner, before of any of that so logistically, I am so not ready.
post #246 of 373
Thank you Sage, I guess I should just come on over. Just looking at all those pages though, whoa. Guess it must have something pretty good going on over there.
post #247 of 373
Just lots of love happening in the NMY tribe.
post #248 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by acannon View Post
I'm glad I found this thread! I was looking around for one like this! I had Jamie a few weeks after I turned 19. DP is 24. I feel a little weird going out in public with DS, because I assume that people think I'm a poor, single mom (not that that's bad, but I don't want people to think I'm something I'm not) and I look younger than I am. People have told me I look like I'm 15. I live in the south, and relatives have told me that there's more young moms here than up north, where I used to live (is that true?) No one has said anything mean to me yet, though. All positive comments, especially when he's in the sling I feel kinda weird about joining mama groups, though, even though I joined a few local ones. I haven't been to any meetings yet, but that's more of a transportation issue than anything. Anyone want to trade AIM screennames? I'm trying to find some mama friends and it would be great to talk to someone around my age, maybe who even has kids who are older or around the same age as my LO.
I always hesitate to join playgroups or momma groups because the other moms are usually way older than me and I feel singled out or looked down upon. Some people have actually asked me if DS was my little brother. :
post #249 of 373
Wow, I somehow missed this tribe! I'm a young Mama as well. I found out I was pregnant with dd when I was 19 and had her at 20 and I'll be 23 next month. My husband and I have been together for five years and married for three.

post #250 of 373
I guess I'm a young mama too! I got pg with DS when I was 20 (found out for sure 2 days before my 21st bday). I never was one of the go partying and clubbing people anyways and have wanted to be a mommy as long as I can remember so it was just right for me! DH and I have been best friends for 6 years, but had just met in person for the first time the week I got pg. So we caught hell for not only being unmarried and pg but "not possibly *knowing* each other" and living 2,500 miles or so apart at the time.
post #251 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by aaronsmom View Post
I always hesitate to join playgroups or momma groups because the other moms are usually way older than me and I feel singled out or looked down upon. Some people have actually asked me if DS was my little brother. :
you know thats funny because my little brother was born right before i turned 12 (were the only living ones)
and i look older so everyone thought he was mine.
it was a cross between being like "umm..no, why would you think that?" and "cool, i look like a good mommy"

i dont remember if i posted here..
anyway i just turned 21 a couple weeks ago, my oldest (living) turned 3 2 days later and my little turned 8 months the day after
post #252 of 373
You mamma's are amazing. I'm not a "young" mom but this thread caught my eye. Looking back at my 21 year old self (and younger) I could not have done what comes to you naturally. I look very young and had my first at 27, which was perfect for me. Lots of people thought I was younger and said things like "but you're so young to be starting a family", and I was thinking to myself "it's about time I got going on this parenting thing". I can't imagine being young and hearing that all the time. It would take so much strength to stand up for what you believe in.

One of my best friend had her first at 18. Our group of girlfriends spent time as a group very often, having a barbecue or going to the beach, etc. just to hang out and watch her little miracle. That little miracle was in my wedding and helps out with my ds. I look to my friend and her dh as a model of the kind of marriage my dh and I strive for, and we look to be as good of parents as they are. It doesn't matter what age they were when they got pg. Her mom was a young mamma and a young grammy and she is so youthful and energetic and loves what she's doing -- unlike my mom who is worn out after only a day with my ds.

Keep it up ladies. Your children will thank you for passing along good genes and you'll be happy to not be chasing around little ones in your 40's.
post #253 of 373
wow, i wish i had found this site a few years ago! i'm "old" now... almost 28... but i had my first just after i tuned 18. i've got 4 boys now and sadly, we were more financially solvent and all that other "grown up" stuff when i was 18 and dh was 21! being an adult just ain't what it's cracked up to be...
post #254 of 373
I don't really consider myself a young mom (I'm 21-- on my third pregnancy after one full term loss and one at 10 weeks) but I am surprised by just how much society sees me as such. Funny to think that when my grandma had my oldest uncle at 19 it was pretty standard, but when I ended up pregnant at 19 I was "way too young" (even though I was in a stable marriage and financially secure). Our society seems to have really twisted values. There are great 15 year old moms and terrible 30 year old moms, and as far as I've seen, age does not determine one's ability to parent AT ALL.
post #255 of 373
I may not qualify as "young young" either but still I am hurt by people who give me that look, that you're too young to be pregnant look. I'll be 22 ina few weeks, that makes me three years older than my mom when she was pregnant. In addition to my age I am married and working on financial security (can you ever be as secure as you'd like to be?). I understand your pain, Frontierpsych. And more power to you ladies who are my age and working on number two or three!
post #256 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by nerdymom View Post
I may not qualify as "young young" either but still I am hurt by people who give me that look, that you're too young to be pregnant look. I'll be 22 ina few weeks, that makes me three years older than my mom when she was pregnant.
yeah this goes along with my dad insisting when i had my first that i was going to be/am a horrible mom and his mother was such a great one cause she was older.
guess how much older she was?
THREE DAYS at the oldests birth! three flipping days!
wtf?
post #257 of 373
Hello I am a young Momma I got pregnant July of 07 when I was 19 and I turned 20 August of 07. I am due April 08
post #258 of 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by onelilguysmommy View Post
yeah this goes along with my dad insisting when i had my first that i was going to be/am a horrible mom and his mother was such a great one cause she was older.
guess how much older she was?
THREE DAYS at the oldests birth! three flipping days!
wtf?
Lol, sounds like someone still saw you as his little girl! Thankfully I didn't have to fight my parents, they were so excited for us. My dad couldn't wait to start wearing "cool grandpa" tshirts! lol I get a real kick out of that.
post #259 of 373
another young mom happy to find this group!
I'm 20 and due in mid May, and this pregnancy couldn't have been a more natural, life changing, and positive event. In the beginning it made me sad when I told people and they gave me that look of concern and doubt. The "you don't know what you're getting into" look. Well, excuse me, I don't care if you're 20 or 40, you NEVER know. Life's a journey and I completely respect that and embrace this new change.
I can't wait to use my sling, CD, and BF!
Like a lot of other people said, the very few moms my age didn't breast feed because its "gross" and I've even seen one friend of a friend feed her 16/mo french fries!
Sigh.
Again, SOOOO happy to find other crunchy young momma's here!
post #260 of 373

Not so young anymore...

Hello ladies! Let's see...

I got pregnant 2 days after my 19th birthday with DD. 16 months after her birth, DH and I welcomed DS into the mix. 2 children at barely 21!

Like others have said, all I have ever wanted to be (besides an astronaut when I was 6) was a wife and mother. I wanted to stay at home with my children and experience their childhood to the absolute fullest, unlike my mother. My life has been completely devoted to my family and I wouldn't change it for anything!

Funny thing, I still get odd looks when people find out how old my children are. Seriously? Nearly 9 years later and they still want to judge? What's funny is when I tell them how old my kids are and they say "How old are you???"; most people peg me at 18-19. Sometimes people ask DH (who also looks very young) and I if they're our brother and sister *sigh* It doesn't bother me, but I always wonder how my children feel about it. So far, they couldn't care less. They both say they think it's better cause we're weirder and more fun

Anyway, it's gotten much easier to turn the other cheek, especially knowing what a wonderful mother I am. What's the saying..? "Your opinion of me weighs less than air."

HUGS to all!
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