one thing i have been working on (among others) is ...are you ready...
JUST LET IT ROLL BABY!
I am constantly hearing from another mom (who is 39) "you have waay too much time on your hands" "i work full time and my husband does nothing" because I do crafts with my kids and bake with them and cook dinner every night. see she feeds them chef boyarde cold out of the can everynight, has never colored with her kids or made homemade valentines for a class of 22. after 3 years of listening to it i said "listen sista i work full time as well, your husband drops off and picks up at school, my kids are in three different places and i do the pick ups and drop off myself, everyday. you brag about how much you work out and that you jog every morning for an hour before you hit the gym. you go shopping by yourself on the weekend because you need the time to yourself, well, how about this, i do everything in my house too and i have more kids than you do
. i just choose to spend my time differently than you. you take 2 hours to make your body look good, i spend it making my family healthy meals. our priorities are just different, i don't have more time than you i am just not a self absorbed as you."
translation: i'm a better mother than you are so shut the hell up PLEASE WOMAN!
i realised that although it felt good to get that off my chest the real reason she had been saying those things wasn't because she really thought i was wasting my time or had too much of it, it was because she knew she could be doing more with her children (they love being at my house) and it was her guilt and insecurity that drove her to degrade me. i'm sure there was an element of jealousy that pushed her to belittle me. she was defensive at her own thought that i was a better mom and i think that holds true in so many of "our" situations as young moms.
yes, i have more energy
yes, i do still look fantastic after three kids
yes, i homebirth
yes, i breastfeed
yes, my children do get bedtime stories
no, not because it's easier for me, because i try harder
stop making me feel i'm doing something wrong because you feel guilty you don't try hard enough.
our success doesn't have to be their failure but for some reason, it is.
take the good with the bad, it sounds like you're doing right by your baby, and when all is said and done, thats the only winning score.