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*really* young mommas! - Page 4

post #61 of 373
Thanks for the heads up! I'll get in touch with her.

I googled and found it. I didn't post then. I stopped coming for awhile. Later on a friend of mine mentioned it again and so I came back and now I started posting.
post #62 of 373
I'm a young Mama

I have two kids, ages 3 1/2 and 16 months. I turned 24 in July. Dh is 26.

We were married before we had our son, but people often assume that we weren't because of our ages. I sometimes forget that I'm a young Mom, because I feel so OLD! Most of my friends are 8+ years older than me. I actually really like being a young Mom. I have plenty of energy to chase after them, keep up a school, pt work schedule, and hopefully dh and I will have them out of the house and have our middle-aged years to ourselves
post #63 of 373
Well, I no longer qualify as a "young" mom, lol...but I am a former teen mama. Lately I realize how that label never really goes away. I had my son when I was 17, and for years lived with all the judgement you all have been talking about from people. It sort of leveled out a bit and people didnt seem to notice much when I was in my 20's and he was school age, but now that he is almost 18...its weird. When I meet a new person and they learn I have an almost 18 year old I can see them doing the mental math. Or they just comment on how I must have been so young. I guess when you get in your 30's you dont mind so much though about being thought as "too young" to have a teen.
post #64 of 373
Do I count? I'm 20 and have one baby, I was 18 when I got preg with my son, 19 when he was born. I don't feel young but I did get "you look too young to be pregnant" a lot while I was...if I'd been like 16 that would have been very offensive. I was married already and he was not quite planned, but hoped-for. I think the looks and comments are just because the in thing now is to finish school, then get married, then work on a career, then finally when you're almost beyond reproductive age think about having kids. That doesn't make sense to me.
post #65 of 373
Originally Posted by desertpenguin View Post
Cherie2...has your daughter gone to any kind of counseling? i have a feeling she is probably depressed. also...hmm...how to word this....sometimes mothers don't give the chance for their children to parent and when they feel like their children aren't parenting their grandchildren correctly, they just take over. i'm not saying that this is the case with you, but i just wanted to put that out there for something for you to consider. .
Thanks everyone for your thoughts regarding my "very" young mom dd ... I too remember just being mom - I just was and that was all there was to it .. I think it is partly my personality though and also I was 21 ... not 16 ... so it is pretty hard for me to relate. I remember being, and actually still am put off by my own mother trying to tell me how to parent (or run my life in any way) and so I try very (maybe too) hard to give her her space to parent as she sees fit .. sometimes it seems though like she really does not care. I too think she is depressed. I tried to take her to counseling but she said she could not share her "real" feeling/thoughts with the counselor .. I stopped perusing that road and have started Bowenwork for her .. she likes that very much and I think it is helping get her hormones back in balance. Maybe after she is more in balance she will consider some counseling. I worry, she seems so close to the edge, I fear making demands of her for fear she will topple right over the edge. That may be unfounded ... but I am not really sure.
post #66 of 373
Thread Starter 
Cherie, you and yours are in my thoughts! please keep us posted. maybe she could come to the thread? i don't know how 'into' AP she is though...
post #67 of 373
i had my first at 18.. im not 25 and prego with my third, dh's first tho and he is 22:
post #68 of 373
im bumping this back up b/c I have a question for all of you young mamas!

Do you still talk to your people you were friends w/ pre children?

I don't. None of them get me now. They just think im "too" involved w/ my kids and just dont understand why.

My DH on the other hand talks to some of his old friends. But there are very few that I will let around my children b/c they seem to not understand how to talk around kids. :
post #69 of 373
Thread Starter 
i still have friends i talk to but DH doesn't. my two best friends are very supportive. they are brother and sister. the sister is understanding but she would rather be out having fun. she's 3 years younger than me. her brother is 2 years older than me and is really mature so he 'gets it'. his girlfriend is an earlychildhood educator so she *really* gets it and loves our LOs. i have some friends who are just now getting married or having babies and its weird to see them 'catch up'.
post #70 of 373
Nice to see this thread!

I got married and pregnant at age 17, had my DS at 18, got pregnant again at 18 and will be having our second son in February, at 19. My DH is 30.

I feel like I'm in limbo most of the time, as the AP parents I know are in mid to late 30's and while most really don't have an issue with my age - some really do. And the parents who are my age are far too immature for me to swallow and we just don't get along. But that's not something new, I've never gotten along with peers.
post #71 of 373
Cherie2, i hope your daughter will be able to figure things out and start feeling better. keep us posted on any progress you guys may make.

dh and i are still friends with some of the people we were friends with before, but a lot of them had more or less drifted out of our lives on their own accord before dh and i got pregnant. for whatever reason it seems we have a hard time making good lasting connections with other couples! we always end up being the only ones who make any effort to stay in contact, so usually we give up. but because of the internet i'm still in contact with a good deal of the friends i had made before i met dh. dh also has a couple of friends he had before we met but he doesn't usually talk to them much. they all live in other parts of the country, so that's part of it. some of them are married now and one of them is having a kid soon....and my best friend that i have known since middle school FINALLY had her first kiss a couple of weeks ago. it is really weird to see some of our friends catching up... when my bf told me about her kiss, i was like 'aww, my little girl is growing up!' which is really very funny since she's 6 mo older than me.
post #72 of 373
im 19, had my son at 18 but was due while i was 17
post #73 of 373
I don't know if I qualify, I'm 23 and I have two kids. I got married at 19 and had our first daughter at 20 and our second at 22. I never felt too young to be having children but the first question my midwife asked me was "so how did your boyfriend take it, is he okay with this?" I was so annoyed that she assumed just because I was young, I must have gotten "knocked up" by some punk accidentally, there was no way I could've been married and hoping for a baby! I just got my cycle back so I'm sure #3 won't be too far behind!
post #74 of 373
I am 21 but was 19 when my son was born.
post #75 of 373
Thread Starter 
post #76 of 373
I am not friends with anyone I was friends with. I am not upset about it.
When I got pregnant, I was 16...barely. And I just wanted to be 16 so bad. so I hung around with the kids I was friends with for a while. I had an awful time deciding whether or not to keep DS too and once I made up my mind that I was his mama, something in me clicked and I stopped hanging out with them.
They were horrible. Once, one of them rubbed my huge belly and said "Hi baby" and then looked at me and said "I still think you should have had an abortion."
They were very,very cruel. I am not sure why I stayed with them...but like I said, I just wanted to be 16. But I am done with all that and i love where I'm at and who I am. And have great friends and a good life.
But it was a very hard point in my life. I truly believe I am one of the strongest people I know...I have been to hell and back and still struggle(finanacially and with DP) and probably will for sometime. But I love my son and love this beautiful path I am on. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
post #77 of 373
Thread Starter 
DH's friends were like that, Lizzo. his best friend told him to leave me. he was like 'dude she's pregnant and i love her' and he was just like so? people now days really boggle my mind. i remember growing up and wanting a family but now everyone seems to want a whole bunch of expensive crap and time to be jerks.
post #78 of 373
I had my first at 18, and my second at 21. I love being a young mom! I'll only be 36 by the time my oldest is 18- the time when most moms in my area are thinking about their second, sometimes even first child. I live in an area where having a kid under thirty is considered uncommon and people do give you a lot of looks. I've had that "you look so young!" comment too many times to count. People here aren't generally mean though, thank goodness.
post #79 of 373
Wow, I'm pretty excited about finding this group!

I'm 21 (just turned on Oct 1), and DH will be 24 next week. We've been married for 2.5 years.

DD is 14 months, so I was 19 when I had her.

Re: friends, I really don't talk to any of my friends from highschool, etc... First of all, we moved 700 miles away from our home town right before we got pg. Then I had DD and I just don't think any of my former friends "get it". They don't get that she's the most important and exciting thing in my life -- I guess the feeling's mutual, they don't particulary enjoy me rambling on about dd and I can't stand listening about the partying, etc that they're doing.
It's really ok with me though. I've made some great friends here with kiddos about my dd's age (though they're all about 10 years older than me...). I just wish they were more AP.

Nice to "meet" you all!
post #80 of 373
Hey ladies! I *used* to b e a young mama, still , somewhat young, I guess, but *really* don't feel it somedays...lol... I'm 24, got preggo with dd#1 right after I turned 18, and now, at 24, have 4 wonderful babies here with me and Dh(they'll always be my babies..lol ) and one that was just too precious for earth... so.. hi!
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