No She Didn't! - Page 2

[artgoddess]

Originally Posted by Potty Diva

I can't believe this. A week has gone by without a word from her and it has been so nice. The color has actually returned to my husband's face. Even our neighbor commented on it.

This part is very nice to hear. I hope it gets easier and you get more used to not having her mess with you.

[CryPixie83]

Can you change your phone number?

[Potty Diva]

Why won't she just leave ME alone!!!
WHY?!

So she has moved to Texas. She left Monday morning. Finally peace...

The she calls Wednesday and Thursday, and Friday, and 3 times today. The first time she calls Mark answers the phone, no biggy. Then I hear him say, "Mom I am not going to leave Teresa and Kailey to come visit you in texas, besides I don't have any money for that right now." He kept saying over and over, "I am not going to leave them."

Then she calls at 4:30 (and she knows that he leaves her at 4 pm for work) and leaves a message that is obviously strained, asking him why he has not picked up the TV and VRC from her house. Well, gee, she only left Monday morning and he student teaches during the week, not getting home until 4:30 pm then makes dinner and is too tired to go anywhere else. On the weekends he works from 4 - close on Saturday, and Sunday 10-close. This is his first Saturday since she left and he needed time to do his lesson plans. Gah!

Then she calls this evening and I am online. She doesn't leave a message but hangs up. I call her right back but she doesn't answer, which is great with me, but what irritates me is that she called only to leave another message on the answering machine (she has said she doesn't like to leave it on the voice mail because we can't hear her).

UGH GRR!
Why can't she leave me alone? I just don't get it.

[CryPixie83]

Because she has more issues than Rolling Stone.

[Potty Diva]

Crystal,
I love you, I really, really love you!

I even asked my mom (my freaking ROCK!) "I'm I that horrible of a person that I can't have any friends?"

I feel crazy, out-of-control, and overwhelmed. I thought having her gone would solve a lot of our issues but it hasn't. Now I am rethinking our marraige and it is scary.

[Lolly2006]

Potty Diva, I just started reading your posts and your MIL sounds very much like Ray's Mom Marie (Everybody Loves Raymond) except, now I think she is Marie on Speed!!!

I am sure what you have written is only the tip of the iceberg but what I would do is concentrate on you, your husband and your beautiful child. Don't waste energy worrying about her (I know that is easy for me to say) - Step back from it, take a deep breath and tell yourself to let it go - don't let the anger you feel bubble and boil and end up causing you to "rethink your marriage" - You married Mark, not his mother, and it sounds as if he is very much on your side (unlike Ray Barone! tee hee!)

I get very stressed out by people - I had to work with a terrible bully in a situation where I couldn't complain (or at least superiors wouldn't listen to it!) - Anyway, I discovered a really great way (for me) to relieve the stress - I just nodded in agreement with this person, smiled sweetly while in my head I was repeating the following mantra "F*ck off B*tch, F*ck off B*tch" - not very polite but at least it was just inside my head and not actually said out loud - It gave me such satisfaction as I felt like I wasn't letting her get to me .... Use your 'crazy, out of control, overwhelmed' feelings and create brand new cuss words for her in your head - you'll be surprised with what you come up with!

Above all - keep the faith - she can only get to you, IF YOU LET HER!

[gabysmom617]

Wow. I read your posts, and had to double check to make sure it wasn't something I had wrote a long time ago.

Sounds JUST LIke my wicked MIL. I strongly suspect my mil is narcissistic, and perhaps your mil is too.

At least your hubby has a good handle on situation. My hubby is still tangled up in lifelong threads of guilt and obligation towards her. Only us moving away from her has made life better.

It sounds like you guys are on the way to recovery. She may eventually need her calls ignored for a while, though. Turn off the answer machine, watch your caller ID, and turn the ringer off on your phone if she keeps on calling, and don't even worry about it.

I know it gets your blood boiling when you know she is calling. But I turn the ringer off when she starts her barrages of calls and turn off the answer machine, and turn my attention to other matters, that way I don't even know whether she is still calling or not.