question of falling asleep- ADVICE NEEDED

[gwinith]

hi all, as per the 'birth announcemnt thread', Finn has finally arrived on oct 6. he is just over 2 weeks old and my midwife is suggesting that although finn sleeps fabulously ON my chest at bed and nap time (and later i can move him off of me into the co-sleeper attached to my side of the bed)... and also that he sleeps fabulously in the hot sling while i putter about the house... that i should "be careful"... my midwife suggests i am setting up a situation where finn will only know how to fall asleep ON ME...

-i agree, it might be nice to let him learn how to fall asleep on his own, and he was doing that until i found out he sleeps much better ON me...

help... any advice here?

[orangefoot]

He's 2 weeks old and barely knows anything but the womb, let him sleep where he feels most secure. You don't have to ask where that is; he is already showing you.

"Be careful" with your midwife

[crazyeight]

I completely understand your concern and its valid but not right now. Everyone was "jealous" of how well my ds slept when he was 5 months and up. When he was smaller than 4 months we ALWAYS put him to sleep, rocking, holding swaddling etc. At around 4ish months we moved him to a crib and his own room and we started letting him get sleepy in our arms and would put him down in that "heavy eyes" stage. I got most of my info from Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. No CIO or anything and it tells you about a "schedule" your baby can naturally go to. We have NEVER had problems with ds waking up in the middle of the night for "no" reason, he goes to bed fairly easily with only a very small routine (i.e. no hour and a half routine that if changes he goes balastic). For a while he even LOVED going to bed! he would sign bed when he was tired!

I plan to do the same thing when dd gets older and starts showing signs of self soothing. At least wait until the "4th trimester" is over.

HTH

[noteworthy]

Don't worry, your ds will have plenty of time to learn his independance. Sooner then it seems possible! Enjoy every moment of holding him while he is asleep or awake, soon he will be asking for the car keys. The pp is totally on track. Babies need their mommies to hold them and so they can hear Mommy's heartbeat and breathing and smell their special scent and hear their voice and live within their mommy's spirit of love.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I wouldn't worry about it too much at this stage all my lo's where falling asleep cuddeled up to me .he's still very young and relys very much on you for comfort as thats the way it was for him in the womb all my lo's did the same and now sleep well in there own beds without any problems.

[TurboClaudia]

there is a concept called the fourth trimester that i basically agree with, that human babies are born so much more dependent on their adult humans than any other mammal and need to become adjusted to life on the outside. being carried helps tremendously with this adjustment.

as for sleeping, most animals sleep in close proximity to one another for warmth and safety.

and two weeks is way too young to be worrying about sleep habits.

follow your instincts, mama, and you will know what is best for your babe.

~claudia

[littleteapot]

My daughter slept on my chest until she was about three months old, then slept in the crook of my arm. She was not without skin to skin contact for her first 2+ months of life. I mean NOT without it. Seriously. I probably put her down only 12 times for brief photo ops.

And ITA with the above poster: "be careful" with your midwife, that's some serious detachment-promoting advice.

[gwinith]

thanks for your advice

thank you ladies... much appreciated advice/ learning experience from all of you... i do LOVE having my ds close to me, it feels natural and he sleeps so well... so i will take my midwife with a grain of salt... and keep my son sleeping how he sleeps best... with his mama right next to him (or in his sling as i type this).
-gwinith
...

[gwinith]

thanks for your advice

thank you ladies... much appreciated advice/ learning experience from all of you... i do LOVE having my ds close to me, it feels natural and he sleeps so well... so i will take my midwife with a grain of salt... and keep my son sleeping how he sleeps best... with his mama right next to him (or in his sling as i type this).
-gwinith
...

[RainbowsMum]

Once again I'm late with my reply, BUT still wanted to add in that my buby sleeps with me, or on me, occasionally she will go down alone but she prefers closeness, I have many people say to me that I'll give her a complex, or she's going to manipulate me into always letting her sleep with me (??!?! Cos a 3 week baby is "manipulative?!!) its ridiculous!! And because I'm quite young they think they can railroad me into doing what they think is best (Which is even more ridiculous) before I had buby I was adimant I wasn't having her in the bed with me, but after she was born, our first night she just wouln't sleep in the bassinet so I put her in bed with me and she slept fantasticly, from then on she has always slept with me or on me when she sleeps during the day because it's clear to me thats where she is happiest. It's good to see you're doing what makes you both happiest too

[LeosMama]

babies need their mothers. if they can't fall asleep without being held, why do you think that is? it is because they are programmed by nature to be held. a human baby has no defenses at all. the only thing they can do to protect themselves is make sure they are being held by an adult. that is why they cry and fuss and wake when set down. that is why they are soothed by motion and warm arms. they are programmed to wake up and scream if they are abandoned.

hold your baby. you're making him feel safe and secure, and there is no substitute for that. it will make a lasting impression on him.