From 2 incomes to 1: so many questions... - Page 2

[corhorvath]

Thank you so much for all the comments. I was looking for some questions, concerns, other "things" to consider while we make this decision and you all supplied with some great insights.

I agree--this is my decision and once I want it badly enough, we'll find a way to make it work. And right now, I don't know if I do or not. I never have before so this is all new to me.

In defense of my husband, while he has his fears of being poor and wants to have a comfortable lifestyle, he is supporting me in making this decision. His mom and all the women in his family are sahms. I'm only one who's not. Last night, he was encouraging me to quit my job today since he knows I'm wanting to stay home. But, it takes me a while to make a decision and once it's made-I'm set.

You have all given me a lot of things to consider that will help me make a choice I'm confident about. Thank you very much!

[bczmama]

As a quick follow up -- I did want to mention one other thing you might want to keep in mind...

From your postings I am getting the feeling that your elder daughter's father is no longer in the picture and is not paying child support. If that is the case, one thing to keep in mind is that unless your husband adopts your daughter, you are her sole economic support. If a divorce occurred you would be solely responsible for her upkeep.

If he is paying child support, it might be worth looking into whether your SAHM-ing would affect the amount at all. I do hate making that suggestion as on principle, I have a problem with people voluntarily unemploying or underemploying themselves in order to get or reduce the amount of child support they pay or receive.

[hopefulfaith]

Originally Posted by corhorvath

You know what's funny:
Our money really goes towards doing things--but I'm sure we could still do things, they would just be different things.

That has been my experience. I brought in over half of our income - and would have had eventually been bringing in nearly 75% over the next three years... It is a very tough decision.

We had to make tons of adjustments - I'm not writing this on highspeed DSL, let's just say! - most of them along the "pay the bills only" plus not much more variety.

I have enjoyed being home with my ds, and look forward to staying home during #2's first few years, too. It is harder than working outside the home, in my own experience, but really has been worth it for me.

I hope your decision, whatever it is, works out beautifully for you!

[corhorvath]

Originally Posted by bczmama

As a quick follow up -- I did want to mention one other thing you might want to keep in mind...

From your postings I am getting the feeling that your elder daughter's father is no longer in the picture and is not paying child support. If that is the case, one thing to keep in mind is that unless your husband adopts your daughter, you are her sole economic support. If a divorce occurred you would be solely responsible for her upkeep.

If he is paying child support, it might be worth looking into whether your SAHM-ing would affect the amount at all. I do hate making that suggestion as on principle, I have a problem with people voluntarily unemploying or underemploying themselves in order to get or reduce the amount of child support they pay or receive.

You're right. He's not involved-at all. I haven't talked to him since I was 3 months pregnant with her and now she's almost 5 yo. There's no child support and we've never legally established paternity. That's a whole other thread. I appreciate the insight. Financially, it would be easier with child support but I figured our lives would be easier without him (he never wanted to be involved and made that abundantly clear).
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Over the past few days, my baby has seemed normally cheerful and not crying when I leave. She is getting/has gotten 3 new teeth in the past 2 weeks so maybe that was making her need me more.

I spoke with my boss and starting next week, I can work from home 1 day a week, maybe 2.

I talked things over with my husband and we may follow a 3-year plan I drew about a month ago--depending on my daughter's needs.

In this plan we will pay off our debt, sell a car, update the house, build up a savings, and he gets a promotion. Then, I quit my job. My older daughter will be going into 2nd grade and my younger will still be home with me. This plan suits our comfort level with risk a lot better than me quitting in 6 months.

BUT, if our daughter needs me home sooner, then we'll make amends and get me home sooner.

Again, I really appreciated all of this insight. It is very helpful. We're not settled on anything definite and are now able to look at things more in-depth.