Am I being Over Protective of DS?

[newmommy]

DS is only allowed to be driven somewhere by Me or DH. I do not feel comfortable with him being driven by anyone else. Family or Friends.

I figure my heart will tell me when I am ready to allow Family or Friends to drive him somewhere in the car.

My In-Laws are irritable over *Our* (DH backs me) decision.

Do you allow your child(ren) to be driven by Family or Friends?

[alegna]

DD has been driven by my dad when we're in the car (on vacation, one rental car) and that was fine with me, but she hasn't been any other time. I haven't left her with anyone either. We have the excuse of a huge carseat

-Angela

[becoming]

I do allow my kids to be driven by my parents and DH's parents...but it always makes me nervous. I do think you're being a little overprotective, unless there is a valid reason, such as your in-laws having DWIs on record or something. But it is totally normal to be nervous about these kinds of things.

[HollyBearsMom]

Absolutely, otherwise he would be stuck at home. Both my husband and I work. My nanny(s) has been driving him since infancy. In the begining it was short drives-to bring him nurse while I was at work, to the Dr's where I would meet them, to the store. As he has gotten older she drives him to play dates, the playground, museums and to get ice cream and to even come see his mom at lunch. She drives him to sports and to grocery shop, to the beach and to picnics. Pretty boring life if I didn't let her drive him around.

I have also lets his friends parents drive him. Just this past summer we had friends over and the the other dad offered to take the boys for ice cream. Never thought twice about letting him go.

[gen_here]

The only time has been while visiting my ILs on vacation and they had a carseat for him. Otherwise, no - just his dad or me. But, honestly, the reason is because we don't have LATCH in our wagon, so it's a pain for me to get his seat in and out of the car and repositioned easily. If/when we have a vehicle where the seat can go in and out easily, I'd have no problem with certain people other than my husband or I driving him. But not just anyone!

[woobysma]

DS1 is 9yo, so he gets driven around by family members quite a bit and has gone a few places with friends' parents.

DS2 is 2yo and has only been driven by my parents and my sister a few times. Each time (except one), I installed our carseat in their car, so I could make sure it was done properly.

The idea of someone else driving him around doesn't bother me - they are good drivers. I worry that they won't know how to buckle in the carseat correctly. I let my mom do it once and noticed later that she had it front facing, but had used the rear facing holes. The whole thing would have just flipped over if they'd been in a crash !! Ever since then, I always make sure I put it in their car for them.

[Jessy1019]

My daughter has been driven by my mom since infancy (we go lots of places together and she usually drives), and she's also been driven by my partner's parents and recently, by my grandparents.

I would not let one of my friends' husbands drive my kids, but I wouldn't get in the car with him myself (after the last time when we didn't know any better). He's scary.

I do think it's a bit overprotective,unless you have reason not to trust the specific person driving.

[NiteNicole]

My mom and dad have both driven my DD around, usually when she was so small that she needed me in the backseat for long drives (her docs are all at least an hour away). Besides that, I guess we've gone places with my friends who also have kids. I don't think she's ever been in a car without me or my husband, tho I've never given it much thought. My mom actually avoids driving with DD alone - I'm not sure why. I guess she's afraid DD will kick up a fuss?

I probably wouldn't feel comfortable sending her off with one of my brothers or cousins even tho I can remember driving them around when they were still young enough for carseats (cousins, not brothers) and now that I think about it I'm really surprised their parents trusted me!

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Well, let's see. My children (7 and 3) are driven around by babysitters (college age or older, no teens), grandparents, and playdate's parent or nanny. But then, we live in a totally car-centric part of the world. I do try to make sure I install DD's carseat if possible, though it is very easy to do. DS uses a booster, which makes him highly portable and independent.

For me, unless I know of driving problems, it doesn't make sense to trust myself and not others. Really, accidents are just that -- accidents that can't be predicted or really prevented. Some nut is just as likely to run a red light and plow into me as my mother. I trust those I allow my children to spend time with to do lots of other things that carry risk, why not drive? If I am comfortable leaving my children in their care, why should I exclude driving? And why should I limit my kid's lives by doing so? That's my take, anyway.

[corhorvath]

I don't know what's overprotective and what's not. I figure the driving thing like this: if I trust that person, know how that person drives, and believe that person drives responsibly, then yes, I'll allow my dd to ride in his/her car.

That being said, I only let her ride in certain family member's cars. I make excuses about the others.

[lasciate]

No one other than my DH and I have ever driven our daughter - but the situation's never come up. If I did allow it, I would install the carseat myself and show them how to buckle it, then make them buckle her in while I watched to ensure it was done properly. They're safe enough drivers as far as I'm concerned, but they don't know a thing about proper carseat usage.

[meowee]

Yes, you are being overprotective. If your DC's grandparents/ close aunt/ unlces have clen and safe driving records, have no substance abuse issues, you should let them drive your DC short distances, IMO.

[eckmannl]

I think your IL's have no right to be irritable because of your decision. You are making a decision that you feel is best and they should respect that.

With my DC (who are age 2 and 3), other than me, my mom drives them probably about once a week or so and my two brothers have each driven them somewhere a couple of times. Every time someone else drives them I'm always a bit nervous, but it's the same bit of nervous as when I have to leave them with someone else. Oh, my friend has driven them a couple of times, and I drive her DS occasionally.
The only stipulation is that I am the only one to install the carseats. I know my family has no clue on how to do that

[Joannarachel]

You're the mama. It's all about your comfort level. You are under no obligation to allow anyone to drive your dc.

That being said, the following people have driven DS, 2 years old, besides me. 2 dear friends who both have small children and clean drivers' records, and my own mother. (also has a clean driving record.)

DD has only ever been driven by me or DH.

[slightly crunchy]

Yes, I allow it if I feel they are a safe driver and if carseats are properly installed, etc.

It doesn't come up often, but I don't see it as a big deal. When my kids are babies, though (under 2) there has not been any need or desire for them to be away from me, or if they are away from me it is at home when I am out. So there would be no need for it then.

[Treasuremapper]

It totally depends on the driver and their car. But so far, nobody has met my high standards except one of my sisters. I have to let my dh drive them.

[bandgeek]

The only person that ever drove DS anywhere without us was my MIL. *I* installed his car seat in her car, showed her how to do up the harness and tighten it, and made her do it once on her own before I let DS leave with her. She drove him a few days in a row and each day, I watched her put him in and when they got back, I checked before she took him out that she had put him back in right. She did beautifully and I know she respects how strict I am with car seats. He was 17 months at the time.

I will NOT allow just anyone to drive him places. So I guess I'm over-protective too.

If you have a reason (any reason at all) that you don't want people driving your kid around, then they need to respect that. Cars and driving are dangerous. If you aren't comfortable not supervising other people handling your kid's car seat and/or their driving, then you shouldn't let them take him. End of story. They'll get over it.

[onlyzombiecat]

Dd (6) has never been in a car without dh or myself present. We have not always been the drivers though.

Dd actually refused to get in anyone else's car for awhile. She was very scared. I don't know why since she hadn't always felt that way. Some people were put annoyed that we didn't force her to do it.

I don't get the fuss over wanting to drive a young child around anyway.

[Getz]

My friend has driven w/ DS (I was a passenger in the car), but otherwise just me and DH. We haven't left him w/ anyone so it hasn't been an issue.

If you aren't comfortable then don't worry about it, the grandparents can just get over it. DS will never ever ever by driven by FIL or BIL. They are the worst drivers EVER, I am just in awe that FIL hasn't caused a major accident or killed someone by now. I hate being in a car with him, there is no way my son will be!!!

[sunnysideup]

My youngest is 2yo and I have let family members drive her a few times. I install her carseat in their car, and give them tips on the right way to buckle her in.

IMO, it is overprotective to not allow anyone else to dive your 3yo. Unless you have valid reasons to worry about their ability to drive--substance abuse, unsafe vehicle, routine accidents, etc.