I feel so stupid!

[Ruthla]

My ex hasn't been reliable with child support this year, since he's been out of work.

This month, he paid me 2 months worth (which he should be doing every month until he's caught up!) but he's still unemployed and there's no guarantee that he'll be able to pay me at all next month.

Part of that money went to a credit card payment, and part of it was paying back my negative bank account (effectively covering one of September's bills), but I still had enough for 2 months' worth of bills if I'd been careful.

I wasn't careful. : My bills are paid for this month, but there's nothing left over. I got a little too carried away with finally having money- I bought a dress for me to wear to DD's upcoming Bat Mitzvah, new underwear for me and DD,, some little stuff like pencils and skirt hangers, and then I went a little crazy buying clothes for myself- no one item was particularly expensive (except for the Bat Mitzvah outfit, which was the only thing I actually needed and planned to buy) but $20 here and $30 there adds up.

Once again, I have a negative bank balance- which means that I've been charged at least one bank fee for overdrawing the account. It also means I don't have any cushion for next month's bills. I also have an item I won on eBay that I can't pay for. It's only $12, and I would have been able to pay for it easily if I hadn't been so careless.

I just listed a few items on eBay (including a couple things I just bought that really didn't fit right) when it occured to me to list things for free on the Trading Post so I listed a few things there as well. I also returned some stuff I just bought (which I planned to do anyway, after trying them on and not liking the fit) but that wasn't enough to give me a positive bank balance.

[PajamaMama]

[swimswamswum]

It doesn't sound like you were being stupid. Bat Mitzvahs are really important.

You do a really good job with your kids and you're a fantastic, responsible person- don't beat yourself up.

[Ruthla]

Yeah, some of the stuff I bought was important, but I could have kept better track of how much I was spending and how much was still in the account. Some of the stuff I bought (such as new everyday clothes, new house stuff) could have waited.

[Ruthla]

Well, I sold some stuff on the TP (and I'm trying to sell some more) and I was able to pay for the ebay item I won before I realized I was broke.

I still have the negative bank account balance but at least I won't screw up my eBay rating!

[Just_Isabel]

Ruthla, it doesn't sound to me like you are being stupid, just... missing money.

I'm not in the same situation as you, but about a year ago I signed up to a gym, and that was way more than I could afford. I tried to keep it though, but money was so tight I ended up giving the gym up after about half a year (I wasn't even going there more than once or twice a month or something! ). The next month I felt like I was so rich, bought too much - same kind of stuff as you - and I ended up broke again.

What I'm trying to say is, I think that if we are really tight on money for some time, and then have some again, we stop being careful with it.

Hope next month is better for you.

[Rant n Raven]

Wow.

It is so unfair.

I relate to this since my credit was seriously damaged due to late child support two years ago.

This money stuff really plays with one's mind. Most of the time I didn't mind being poor but there were times that I hated FEELING poor. This would hit when I couldn't get something very basic like food, clothing or heat! Or even a little toy or ice cream for my girl.

Best wishes to you.

[MissLotus]

Oh I know how you feel...child support and all. It's scary when part of your income comes from someone unreliable. And how well I know that mad dash of spending...the less money I have, the more I want to spend! Maybe some deep-rooted psychological rebellion against poverty. Don't beat yourself up - you'll do better next month...you'll make it through till then!

[Sharlla]

We go through this every month. DH gets paid weekly so the last two checks of the month are pretty off limits for spending on stuff, so when he gets the first paycheck of the month we kind of go overboard on spending. it's hard not wanting to treat yourself when you are broke and finally come into some money.

[Ruthla]

Well, he finally got a job so child support should be more reliable from now on.

I contacted the school and they'll wait to deposit this month's tuition until the 7th instead of the 1st- and this month I'll be sure to leave enough extra in the account so that November's ch sp covers December's tuition as well.

I also found a beautiful skirtsuit at the thrift store for $10, so I can return the $65 sweater and skirt set I bought at Macy's for my DD's Bat Mitzvah (for me to wear.) The only clothing I plan to purchase in November-though both of these may wait until December- is a new bra and stockings or pantyhose to wear for the Bat Mitzvah- the new suit is too short to wear with knee highs, and I want a 'real bra" not a sportsbra type thing for special occasions.