Anyone read "I Don't Know How She Does it?"

[TranscendentalMom]

Has anyone read this? I'm about halfway through - I thought it would be a nice mindless read. It is pretty funny sort of like Bridget Jones if she were a working mother. But I can't help but be shocked by a lot of it. For one thing, she likes working more than being with her kids but in the same breath says she loves them more than anything in the world. She refuses a goodbye hug from her one year old son because she's got a clean suit on. She then laments her childhood with her distant dad who had affairs with other women and then proceeds to explain how she's rarely home before the kids bedtime & often takes overseas business trips & at a later point in the story is contemplating having an affair &in fact does make out with another man!

Instead of making me understand working mothers more....I feel more confirmed in my belief that women need to make choices in their life....sometimes between a career and children. I understand that many women HAVE to work. And if they do have to, they deserve the same opportunities than men have. But I don't understand how people can't see that the IDEAL is for mother to be with her kids.

I also don't understand why the husband in the novel doesn't stay home since they say that the nanny is paid almost as much as he makes.

I know its just a novel but the author says she based the book on her own experiences.

Anyway, sorry, this book has just got me thinking......

I'm curious if anyone else has read it & what y'all think of it???

Edited to add: I think all mothers should read it though, it will make you feel like you are mother of the year compared to this woman!

[laralou]

I read it too. I liked it even though she was a terrible mother most of the time.

Oops! I just had to erase most of what I wrote because you haven't finished it yet.

I could sympathise with some parts since I was a wohm for ds's early years, but not with how much she doesn't care for her kids.

[cielle]

I'm waiting for this from the library but the woman was interviewed on the diane rheme show on NPR. She said she based it in part on interviews with working moms. I put off reading it because she sounded like she was far more impressed with working moms than stay at home moms and spent a lot of time talking about how judgemental and Martha Stewart-y SAHMs are. It seemed like just one more shot in that whole war.

I'm anxious to read it so I can have a more informed opinion but I have to say my expectations are low.

[mirlee]

I read it. I found some bits amusing,but was annoyed with most of it. I know no mom working or other who exhibits this kind of behaviour. Besides, even if I do have a clean suit on, I will always hug my son. (That said, I have footprints on my trousers this morning.)

Maybe this is how the high powered working mom is, but not us lowly University folk.

[glh]

Here is a review of this book that I wrote for the other board I visit-

A review of "I Don't Know How She Does It":

I liked it because it was funny at times and an enjoyable read, although I thought it could have been a lot shorter.

However, I did not like how she stereotyped working and sahm moms. The wohms I know do not have her lifestyle, money, or her ability to rationalize very frequent, long absences from their children. I suppose she does represent some women with very lucrative, glamourous careers, but not the vast majority of wohms.

According to the character there is absolutely no middle ground; she writes off working part-time or cutting back on travel or hours as something the "men in charge" would never let women do and also advance in their careers. There may be some truth in this, but I do not think it is as black and white as she makes it out to be.

She calls sahms the "muffia" and makes many statements writing them off as pushy and overly involved with their children. Sahms are also characterized as unambitious and according to Kate you would have to be almost brainless and shallow to stay home. However, the one woman she admires the most quit a fast-track career to stay home . Maybe you can only be a good sahm if you were previously a highpowered career woman : ?

She really stereotypes her hired help as greedy, pretty incompetent and basically out to get her.

Her husband is a nice guy that she ignores and belittles, but she seems to at times feel worse for him than her children.

She really does acknowledge the high cost of not spending enough time with her children, it makes you wonder how the character could have kept it up for over six years.

I have been a full-time wohm and am now a sahm and she pretty much offended me on both counts.

[glh]

Boy if the author thinks sahm moms are Martha-Stewarty she should come to my house; what a shock that would be .

[cielle]

Yeah, I hate the MS assumption. I have no interest in anything remotely crafty.

Here's the diane rhem interview if anyone's interested and has a good internet connection:

http://www.wamu.org/dr/shows/drarc_021028.html

[mamaley]

Originally posted by glh
However, I did not like how she stereotyped working and sahm moms. The wohms I know do not have her lifestyle, money, or her ability to rationalize very frequent, long absences from their children.
According to the character there is absolutely no middle ground

She calls sahms the "muffia" and makes many statements writing them off as pushy and overly involved with their children. Sahms are also characterized as unambitious and according to Kate you would have to be almost brainless and shallow to stay home. Maybe you can only be a good sahm if you were previously a highpowered career woman : ?

Yep, everything above is what I suspected, and that's why I didn't read it. It's a shame it's that way too, because it really is a topic worth writing about, but I hate how different people assume sahm's and wohm's are. I seriously consider myself to be somewhere in the middle (though I'm a student so that just makes me a weird mother )