CPS question

[scatterbrainedmom]

last night Dh left to get soemthing from a friends house and I went to get the baby to sleep. when i came out of the room MAYBE 20 min later Matthew (3yo) was missing. I had to call the cops and had all of my neighbors out looking for him (this was around 10pm). 8 cop, the EMS and the fire department showed up. We found him asleep in my bedroom floor. He had to be hiding in my closed because that is the only place i didn't look. He was in the middle of my bedroom floor and very noticeable. They had the EMS try and check me out for shock. It was only 30 minutes but it felt like a life time. i don't know how parents can go on when their baby is not found.

Now DH is scared CPS is gonna show up because we had just finished dinner and nothing was picked up. the baby ate crackers all over the house for dinner and crumbs were everywhere, dinner dishes strewn everywhere.

And a few months ago Matthew broke out of the house and was playing in the street and the cops came. My mom, me and my aunt was here and none of us hear him leave. So with that happening and this happening D is afraid of a visit from CPS.

We also have locks on all our doors, but they only work when used. I though DH locked up and he must have thought I did.

[captain optimism]

I realize that in some states, CPS can be a really irrational agency. People on this board have had all kinds of bad experiences with different states' CPS. Some were not removed from abusive homes as children; others had children unjustly removed. Still others have had only positive experiences. It really varies.

I would be shocked beyond belief if they came to investigate you because of dirty dishes and cracker crumbs.

Especially since the cops came because of how worried you were about your child. It's true that police are mandatory reporters. I strongly doubt that this is really going to happen.

A good thing to do now is to get some help with the running away behavior in your toddler. People on this board can help you brainstorm. It's too hard on you to have to worry about his safety like that.

[scatterbrainedmom]

thanks for replying. it had me a little freaked from all the horror stories.

[mama_b]

My only advice is to be prepared just in case. Read "The Parent's Guide to the System". The link is posted in various threads here. I'll go see if I can find it.

[Benji'sMom]

Since they found him in the house, there wouldn't be much to report, would there? I think it'll be okay. And I wouldn't worry about the crumbs, they investigate too many people who don't feed thier kids, they have seen much worse things than crumbs. Even if it is reported, CPS can detemine it's really nothing worth investigating. They don't investigate every report, they can determine there's nothing going on or that it doesn't fit their criteria for abuse before a real investigation even starts.

[Ruthla]

Had a social worker shown up at your house for any reason with the mess there, they MIGHT have caused you problems, depending on the worker you got, his/her general philosophy, and his/her mood that day (scary but true!)

Cops don't notice that kind of stuff. They'd only contact CPS if they noticed something glaringly obvious, or an act of violence occured in the home (ie, dad hits mom, cops contact CPS.)

I just want to clarify the above statement "CPS doesn't investigate every report." In my state, they have to investigate every report, but the investigation can be a single visit to the home and they may decide not to open a case.

[mama_b]

Here ya go.

http://www.geocities.com/family_righ...nts_guide.html

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I too would say that you shouldn't panic. But I would probably spend today cleaning the house, mostly because then I could say to myself that I was doing something proactive and it might help calm me. The one thing that you might really want to do is go to the hardware store and buy a slide lock for the door and installl it at the very top of your reach. Then, of course, be sure that its used! I had an escape artist at that age too. Very, very scary!'

[4imprints]

That must have been stressful!!! My daughter has acutally gone out of the house a few times to get the newspaper or the mail (without me knowing) and couldn't get back in. I remember that panic feeling of not being able to find her. I don't have any advice on the CPS (although I do know that the cops have been called to our house a few times for my daughter and nothing has happened - she's gotten herself stuck in toys a few times!) - but one thing that helped us with her was getting a lock put on the door out of her reach. She eventually learned how to even turn the key.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

That must have been so stressful! I have no advice for cps, but you might try putting socks over your doorknobs to make them harder for him to open.

One day ds was not quite 2. I had taken him into the bacement with me when I was doing laundry. Usually I start the washer filling up first and then sort the laundry as it fills. That day for some reason I didn't start the water running right away. It's a good thing I did because I would never have heard the click of the door opening if the water was going. Too noisy. As it was i didn't rush as the bacement door opened into the garage which was always closed. The garage wasn't baby prof though so I went to get him out of there. Well dh had forgot to close the garage door that morning. We lived on a busy road with a blind corner. Logging trucks rushing past every few min. I caught him just as he reached the road.

I still shudder when I think about what might have happened if the water had been running and I haddn't heard the door.

[becoming]

I don't really know anything about CPS, but I just wanted to give you a . What a scary night for you!

[scatterbrainedmom]

thanks mamas (oops..fellow MDC'ers ). we have locks and usually use them. we just both thought the other had locked it. I have def learned my lesson. I have even been double checking myself to make sure i lock up.

[mommy_e]

If you are worried about him getting out without you knowing, you can buy door alarms. They are $10 for 4 at most stores (Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Lowes, etc.) and you can set them to just beep or actually alarm if the door is opened. They stick on, so no holes to drill. It might just help as a backup for times when you can't lock the doors or someone forgets.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by mommy_e

If you are worried about him getting out without you knowing, you can buy door alarms. They are $10 for 4 at most stores (Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Lowes, etc.) and you can set them to just beep or actually alarm if the door is opened. They stick on, so no holes to drill. It might just help as a backup for times when you can't lock the doors or someone forgets.

I was going to suggest the same thing, or even the good old fashioned bell that chimes when the door opens and knocks against it.

Hugs for you mama - I can't begin to imagine the panic and terror you must have experienced when you thought he was missing.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I too would say that you shouldn't panic. But I would probably spend today cleaning the house, mostly because then I could say to myself that I was doing something proactive and it might help calm me. The one thing that you might really want to do is go to the hardware store and buy a slide lock for the door and installl it at the very top of your reach. Then, of course, be sure that its used! I had an escape artist at that age too. Very, very scary!'

Yes, that is what I would suggest too. I seriously doubt that CPS would show up, but you never know. If they show up, they will sit and chat with you, and make a decision based on what they see. IF they show up, they would probably never come back again.

My room mates son broke his leg at his Grandmother's house when he was 11months old. CPS came, talked to us, and left happy with the knowledge that Shane was safe and loved.

I don't really see a reason in your post that would make CPS come for a visit, but it can't hurt to clean the house anyway.

I also agree with the door chimes. Those are indespensible with little kids.

[scatterbrainedmom]

those door chimes sound good. we have those stick on ones and they fall off all the time and then the boys get ahold of them and leave them on lol.

[katsam]

I wouldn't worry about CPS either, but if it would make you feel better to clean the house just in case go for it!
I had a scare kind of like that last week. No police, but if I didn't look where I did their could have been. I heard Ds go upstairs, where he goes to his room somtimes. About two minutes later I go up and he is no where to be seen. I scream down for my dh to look downstairs and outside and he is nowhere to be found. I was screaming his name and he didn't answer. Something told me to look under the bed and there he was being as quiet as he could. I was so panicked though. It was probably two minutes total that I couldn't find him, but it felt like forever.
I think I am going to look into those door chimes too, because that is what I was most afraid of!

[Joannarachel]

CPS is not going to show up. As a paramedic, I went on several of these types of calls. As a paramedic, I am a mandated reporter. Dirty dishes and crumbs wouldn't make a BLIP on my 'potential neglect or abuse' radar.

Seriously, you would not BELIEVE the stuff we see on a day to day basis :

[boobybunny]

yup..

was your home "felony filth" or just "miday mayhem"?


Felony filth for us us moldy dishes, not a single clear or cleared space in the house... you can smell it before you can even set foot in the door.

[scatterbrainedmom]

midday mahem. i mean if you looked hard you could tell it was clean, just the surface was dirty. i am over being freaked now, i know my rights. thanks to everyone who offered their advice s