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Bomb Iowa

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Bomb Iowa

I was listening last night to the evening news
and the “Hawks” came out and touted their views
how Syria now was the “global threat”
and “we better act, or we’d soon regret”
But the real threat now, it occurs to me
comes from a place called Sioux City
It’s big and flat just like Iraq
It borders two states, (-Imagine that!)
It’s a threat to it’s neighbors near and far
And the worst thing is you can get there by car!
They can use that corn to make ethanol
Which we all know is a threat to us all!
Them silos there are just a clever facade
for massive weapons. –Oh my God!
You ain’t foolin’ no one, especially me
Lets drop a big bomb on Sioux City!

Now I know it’s a radical view
But hear me out, and you’ll see it’s true
Them Iowan’s seem like a peaceful bunch
But I got a feeling, I got a hunch
That when nobody’s lookin’ they’re planning attacks
Just like them Islams’ in Iraq
Them cow suits ain’t but a clever disguise
To cover up all them Iowan spies!
I don’t trust em, -never will
Those combines could be used to kill
And a pitchfork, thats a deadly tool!
So listen up, don’t be a fool!
Mark my words, they’re making plans
I’m telling you now, so you’ll understand
You ain’t foolin’ no one, especially me
Lets drop a big bomb on Sioux City!

post #2 of 21
Not sure how the Iowans will feel about it but that was pretty funny :LOL

It reminds me of the South Park song "Blame Canada"

post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 


glad you liked it
post #4 of 21
and what about those Iowa drivers. I hear they are dangerous!
post #5 of 21


witty poem!

Isn't it frightening how easily manipulated the majority of Americans are?
post #6 of 21

Can they aim the bomb at the creepy old IBP plant in Sioux City? I've been away a long time, so I don't know if it's still up and running since it seems to me it was bought by Tyson??

Anyway, my point was that I wouldn't miss that place at all!
post #7 of 21

well said
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 


They ain't a serious threat, unless'n they're drivin one of them thar Toyotees!
post #9 of 21
Ever heard of talking blues? This poem reminded me of 'em.

Here's a page about that musical genre if you are interested:


Just a thought!...Joyce in the mts.
post #10 of 21
Thread Starter 


I checked out that music, it was pretty great. My daughter started dancing immediately. -It was really cute. Thanks for the tip
post #11 of 21
Thread Starter 


positively terrifying!
post #12 of 21
alrighty now..

In Iowa..

IF you think our driving is bad go to Chicago... Or anywhere in Nebraska.. EEK!! all AWFUL drivers..

As for places to bob here.. You can bomb Council Bluffs.. It's the butthole of Iowa, and no one would REALLY miss it..

post #13 of 21
post #14 of 21
Madmax as an Iowan I have to say I prefered If Bill had kept his pants on.... but we won't open that can of worms again.

Once again Madmax you have made me giggle.

post #15 of 21
Hi, jumping in here. I get a little concerned when humor is directed toward a person or group of people.

Humor is a great thing - especially in such troubled times. However, let's try to be careful and not direct it toward others. What may sound funny, could be viewed as insulting by another

post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 

ms mom

I think you are missing the point. What I mean to say is that based on the logic used to justify this war in Iraq, we could just as well have been bombing Iowa. It is meant to be taken tongue-in cheek.
post #17 of 21
I understand what Ms. Mom meant, madmax. As an Iowan I don't find much humor in that. Nor is this statement
They ain't a serious threat, unless'n they're drivin one of them thar Toyotees!
representative of any Iowan's I know and I have lived here most of my life.

Tread lightly please. The line between humor and insult is fine.
post #18 of 21
madmax, I love this piece you wrote! Thank you for your brilliance. You have a great gift.

post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 

the big picture being missed here

I cannot state more emphatically that I feel it is not right to bomb or attack ANYONE.

In regard to the comment about "Toyotees", it was just an illustration of redneck mentality of this administration (or lack thereof). Nothing was meant to be taken literally, or as a slam to Iowans. I did not mean to get anybodies dander up. Unless of course, you're George Bush, then *$%$ you and the horse you rode in on!!!
post #20 of 21
Them cow suits ain’t but a clever disguise
To cover up all them Iowan spies!

How dare you imply that Iowans are spies!! :

FWIW, I totally 'got it' Max, Thanks.

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