Pros and Cons of Time outs - Page 2

[~member~]

[kristenok18]

As a mom of a spirited almost-4yo, I've found that time-outs just don't work for us. I've tried lots of different ways of approaching behavior that isn't appropriate, and unfortunately time-outs were one of them. What they ended up doing was escalating the act-out behavior so that it happened more and more frequently. The only time I found anything like this helpful is if *I* need a minute to cool down in order to respond without anger. A variation of a timeout that was sometimes effective when ds was a little younger and his emotions had gone past a certain point, was to sit and hold him and hug him and try to get him calmed down this way.

I have friends who use traditional time-outs and have no problems, but they just made things worse in our house!

Kristen

[ShaggyDaddy]

I have learned (through trial and error unfortunatly) that using punnishments that are not related to the misdeed don't work. Artificial consequences don't really teach the child and basically the only motivation they create is the threat.

I was raised on threats and they didn't work.

Do this or I am going to do something TO you.

In our world, prison time is the 2nd most harsh sentance a criminal can get. Isolation sucks.

To twist Office Space a little:

That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of time out. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get time out.

[Houdini]

Holy Thread Resurrection Batman!!

I have our kids go into their rooms to calm down if they are getting too stressed. I will give them up to five minutes. If they are still in their room, I will go in and talk to them about what happened. If they come out of their room before I go to them, then we will talk then.

I am not sure if it counts as time-out or not, but it works for our house.

I joke that sometimes my kids get tired of being one of four. My oldest has taken to putting himself in his room when he is stressed. He wants everyone to stay away til he calms down.