Mummy Mess

[RainbowsMum]

Umm a really bad thing almost happened.... Buby fell asleep and normally I just keep her with me cos she sleeps better and when I put her down she usually wakes up but I decided to put her on the bed and she stayed asleep, I put a pillow under her back to keep her slightly elevated (Not too much, my midwife told me to keep her slightly elevated cos she gets reflux and apparantly that can help) and went to the kitchen to make something to eat and get a drink, and about 15 or so mins later I got the overwhelming urge to check on her and I walked in the room and she had somehow rolled over and was lying face down into the covers making no sound, I ran over and picked her up and she was bright red in the face and had been trying to scream, she's OK, after being cuddled for a while and fed she calmed down and fell back to sleep (Safely on me where she normally always is) but I'm still shaking and it happened about an hour and a half ago. It occurred to me when I saw her lying there face down silent that she's all I have (DP left us the night before I got induced, then came back a few days later and asked me to marry him - I love him with all my heart so I said yes then a few days later he left us again. Called me a "Solo mother white trash peice of sh*t" told me I was disgusting and I haven't heard from him since) so she's all I have. My beautiful buby.... I'm so lucky I checked on her when I thought I should cos if I hadn't.... Well.... Yeah. But now I'm paranoid about everything.... I keep thinking of all the things that could possibly happen... How do I not freak at every little thing.......?

[HomeBirthMommy]

OMG-I'm so sorry and glad she's OK. A similar thing happened to us w/dd2. I'm so thankful for that "mama urge" inside of us.
I can't imagine what you're going through right now with your ex. I know it sounds hard, but if he's the kind of person that would say something so horrible to you, do you really want him to be your precious dd's male role model? You're a great mama and you deserve someone that will completely adore you AND your sweet babe.

[liseux]

That must have been so scary! I had something similar happen with my first ds and also felt that strong urge to check on him.
If you leave her alone on the bed again, try rolled up hand towels on either side of her, very close to her body, so she won`t roll. At least for another a month or so that might help. You can put her on her back or on her side and she won`t be able to move.

[mum2be]

Wow! That must have been so scary. I'm so glad she's okay.

Sorry you're going through a rough time. Hang in there and just treasure every minute you are with your little one

[LeosMama]

we use a small pillow filled with buckwheat. it is a round bolster pillow just about as long as dd is. it is firm and just her size.

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.c...cure_1917_2578

something like the smallest pillow in that pic, but ours has a soft terry-cloth cover on it.

the firmness helps keep her from rolling over, and it is just the right height to keep her propped up.

also, you can try a sling bed, like what my dh makes for people:
http://ogdenherrera.com/index.php?cr...aea388e42fffeb

my dd (5 weeks) is alseep in one right now. it keeps her propped up and secure. she can't roll over in it. every little movement and wiggle makes her bounce just a little, so it makes her feel safe and snug.

[RainbowsMum]

Thanks mamas I actually have a slingbed somewhere... Well it's a baby hammock somewhere at home which is simmilar maybe even the same thing? I'm a lot calmer now (Having been a few days...) I still get a surge of adremaline whenever I think about the first moment I saw her upside down... But I think that'll take a while to go away.

[Caroline]

That sounds VERY scary --- you have great Mama intuition! I know people make fun of the "sleep positioners" but I have one I used with my third baby who had Reflux until 5 months of age and they are FANTASTIC at keeping babies propped and unable to roll. I bought mine at Babies R us -- they are only about $20; it's an inclined pad that has two sides which adjust to any width for propping, using velcro. I found that with my DD being on her side was crucial because if she threw up it would fall out of her mouth rather than fall back in her throat and choke her.

Also, I use a baby monitor when my baby is alseep and I need to leave the room. Dr. Sears mentions not needing monitors but hey, like we don't always nap when baby naps! Sometimes we might want to spend that free time eating, showering, or any other much needed "self-care time". I don't believe in letting a baby cry at any point, ever, so a monitor allows me to hear every little sound when baby is waking up and they don't need to cry in order for me to hear them. Not sure if this would have helped in your situation or not but if you don't already have a monitor that may help too.

Most of all, know that we will all carry a scary memory like this as mothers -- no one is immune to episodes during motherhood like this. Be good to yourself and know that your intuition is GOLDEN. All the best, C

[RainbowsMum]

I also agree with the whole not leaving buby to cry - Ever. You'd be amazed at the amount of greif I get from people, I've been told to leave her crying (by more than one person) because if I go to her too soon she'll start to expect it?!?! I was like "Yeah... Thats why she cries... So that I go to her...!" Or another personal favrite is "Shes just trying to manipulate you into going to her" - referring to when she's crying. And once again more than one person has told me that. I will look into the monitor for sure, that'll help a lot. I normally take her bassinet into the bathroom when I have a shower!!

[qjraven8]

hey there, been thinkin about ya and wanting to post but my hands always seem to be full too!! i hope your heart rate has finally slowed down, i would be a wreck over such an event, but you have to know by now unfortunately you can't have complete and utter control over every situation all the time. just take it as a learning experience and give her that many more hugs and kisses! :
i kinda like being a single mom, but i had more time to get used to the idea than you did i've gotten grief from a couple people - mostly elderly neighbors - for holding felix too much or not letting him cry, specially when they see me walking with him in a sling. i feel like tellin em off, but it would do no good i just nod and smile and move along. we know that our little ones need as much love as we have to give, and that pure love never does anyone any harm so we'll just go about our merry business and take care of our babes the way we know they need it!
speaking of, my precious one is waking again ... gonna go give him more love before i have to work tonight.
-jen
btw, you should pm me if you ever need to "chat" about this new single mom stuff