Help me decide about TV - Page 2

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

I don't realy set limits on tv, but I do make sure that we still make time for all the other stuff. As long as we spend time each day doing home work, eating family meals at the table, playing outside, reading books ect I don't mind a little tv. Of corse when you've filled up the day with all the good stuff there isn't much time left for watching.

[chinaKat]

Originally Posted by ZeldasMom

I always think it is strange when I go to someone's house and they have the TV on while I'm visiting (you know how some people just have it always on in the background). I think, am I that boring???

Oh, me too!! I was infamous in college for being adamant about NO TV during social occasions, unless the occasion was specifically due to a televised event (watching a football game, etc.). I hate going to somebody's house and they don't bother to turn off the TV when you are there.

I'm a very "by appointment only" TV watcher. I know lots of people like to have it on all the time, but I totally don't get that.

Now there are TVs everywhere -- they even have TV at the checkout line at one of our local supermarkets, and in the Dairy Queen! Weird.

[siobhang]

I am of mixed minds about TV. I love watching some TV and it is a great stress reliever for me. DH and I also have favorite shows (Dr Who and Lost and battlestar Galactica) which we discuss for HOURS after the show. We have netflix and love watching movies on DVD.

The kids have honestly learned stuff from the TV they do watch - the educational stuff like Barney, sesame street, noddy. And often having the TV on for 30 minutes to entertain them is better than me losing it because I need 30 minutes to myself, finish dinner, do the laundry, etc.

At the same time, when I get depressed, it is very very easy to turn the TV on and have it on all day, which saps my energy to do anything. I worry about the things the kids aren't doing if they are watching TV. I worry a lot about the commercialism/materialism with TV and the fact that young kids can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy for a long time. I really hated it when our previous au pair had MTV on for hours - the videos creeped me out.

So our compromise is that we be mindful and deliberate in our TV watching. I like the analogy to alcohol. I drink beer or wine on occasion because I like the taste and periodically, it helps unwind after a stressful day. But I am mindful of how much I consume - if I felt that anyone in our house was using alcohol inappropriately, I'd try to intervene.

So for TV, we try to be mindful. We ONLY watch shows we have TiVo'd. Our TiVo list is pretty short - doodlebops, sesame street, etc. - for the kids, and our favorites for us (Lost, CSI, Dr Who, etc). The kids rarely watch our TV (most of the time it is wildly inappropriate for them).

We have the extended hard drive so we have a lot of shows. Both boys can watch the same show over and over and over, so we never really "run out". And after three shows MAX or one hour (noddy is only 10 minutes, Barney 30 minutes) the TV goes off (dh is pretty keen on keeping the TV off since we have a projector TV and the bulb costs $400 to replace).

We also have a couple baby Einstein videos, but those are generally only used "in emergencies" - like on travel or when I am not home and dh is desperate to calm the kids down.

No TV in their room, ever. DH and I have a TV in our room, but we turn it on maybe once every 6 months.

Siobhan

[siobhang]

Originally Posted by chinaKat

Oh, me too!! I was infamous in college for being adamant about NO TV during social occasions, unless the occasion was specifically due to a televised event (watching a football game, etc.). I hate going to somebody's house and they don't bother to turn off the TV when you are there. .

I find TV playing in the background very distracting - it is an eye magnet.

I too had friends like this - where the TV was always on, even when guests came over - it drove me NUTS. I once counted how long it took for the conversation to end entirely and everyone to sit around watching TV - 5 minutes was what I discovered.

I also get PISSED when at family events, the men sit around watching TV (even a football game - come on guys, you ATE the food, at least help tidy during a commercial) while the women tidy up. But that is my baggage...

Siobhan

[roxyrox]

My lo only watches Cbeebies because it is a channel which has no adverts and all the programmes are educational (of sorts!).

I don't see any problem with tv as long as it's not on all the time. He watches half an hour in the morning and half an hout while I'm preparing dinner normally. If we are in all day he may watch a bit more but we are normally out in the afternoons.

I see your points about adverts though - that is why I like the BBC (no adverts at all!)

[RubyWild]

Originally Posted by Roar

Man, now I want a bathtub full of pudding. I didn't know I wanted it, but I feel ripped off somehow now!

Originally Posted by beckington

OK OK, point taken! I guess it's just that TV is everywhere, and most people have one, whereas how many people have bathtubs of pudding?!

Originally Posted by Meg Murry.

I want a bathtub full of pudding, please.

Chocolate.:

Originally Posted by kewb

I totally want a tub for of pudding now. Why didn't my parents ever get one of those?

Originally Posted by Joannarachel

And now I'd really like a bathtub full of pudding, please.

If this doesn't get me a DDDDC, nothing ever will.

[Mountaingirl3]

OT--Siobhan, dh and I love Battlestar Galactica (we wait until the seasons come out on dvd so we can watch commercial-free and don't have to suffer through cliff-hangers). Maybe we'd like Dr. Who . . . have you seen Firefly?

OP, my vote is for dvd only. It works really well for us. I skip any advertising, and the kids only watch one episode a day, if needed. Often, they watch none. They do not ask for all that cr*p that is marketed as kids' food, like lunchables, or toys etc. We check the dvd's out of the public library--Kipper, Clifford, Little Einsteins, Backyardigans, Scholastic Books, Reading Rainbow. Many of them have a Spanish track, so if they want to watch another episode, I'll let them watch it in Spanish.

Another extremely helpful move for us was to put the TV in the finished basement. That way, no one sees it when we walk in the house. If they do ask to watch, they usually forget in 5 minutes because it's not there to stop them from thinking of something else fun to do.

Dh and I are dvd-free until the kids are asleep. Then, we watch an hour. It's good unwinding time. I think we talk to each other a lot more than we would if we had reception TV, and I think our family is outside getting exercise far more often.

I like what Siobahn said about mindful watching.

[beckington]

Thanks for all the replies!

Like I said, I'm not anti-TV though I do still have moments where I worry about his little brain cells and imagination being destroyed! I should clarify - we only use DVDs as it is - there was a period of time where I turned on blasted children's TV and it all went downhill, but before then and after it's been DVDs only (we don't have cable now anyhow and no reception, though havent' really tried). I like what people have said about developing good habits and mindful watching - that's ideally what I want to see happen. We never use the TV as background noise - if we aren't watching it, it's off - when we had cable I only watched certain shows I was particularly interested in, not tV for the sake of TV, I don't watch TV myself when he's awake so he doesn't see it as a normal thing to do, etc. I don't like where the TV is in our house - too central, but I don't want it in a bedroom or the playroom so it's kind of gotta stay where it is. Anyhow, I'm just worried that me limiting his watching will create a power struggle, you know? And if that's the case I'd rather just get rid of it! But of course I do limit it in a 'hey Alex wanna play with xy?' to distract him, so maybe I'll just do more of that. Yesterday was a perfect day - he watched 20 minutes in the morning and that was it - he asked for it once other than that but I just suggested something else which he was happy to do. So I think I'll go that route and see how it goes. I think the real issue is disciplining myself! We've had a few weeks where I've been sick, then he's been sick, and then I've been busy with other stuff, and I've just used the TV too much to get through it all. He's also dropping his nap which has opened up 2-3 hours in the day when I struggle! But we'll try this idea and if it is just creating too many problems, then the TV goes in the closet and I'll worry about the future in the future!

Thanks again for all the replies!

[Attila the Honey]

Dd watched no tv at all for the first 2.5 years of her life, then we introduced PBS and an occasional dvd. We don't have cable and our PBS reception can be spotty, so maybe that helps, but dd would still rather do 100 other things than watch TV.

I am not going to lie, some days she watches more than I wish she would but if I am going to look at it honestly it's always because it's a day that I am too busy to keep her busy with other things. Not often, but occasionally, like if I have a project I am obsessing on. Some days, on the other hand, she watches none.

I had a turning point when I realized that to me the TV thing should be not so much about "no you can't watch TV" as finding other things to do instead so we don't WANT to watch tv. Did that make sense? coming at it from an angle of choice (we'd much rather take a walk and collect leaves and then play play-doh than watch TV) than from the angle of deprivation (no, we don't want tv, find something else to do). I guess it's my theory that the whole deprivation thing depends on the attitude.

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by Joannarachel

Caillou makes me want to stick a fork in my eye.

What's all the Caillou hate about? I've seen this everywhere! I think its a wonderful kids show. Regrettably my 14mo takes his nap when it airs here, so I watch it by myself sometimes

As for the whole TV thing, we dont have cable or satellite, I have a husband who whines everytime the Bears are on Monday night because we dont have ESPN, but then turns around and praises his own TV-FREE upbringing and says he wants the same for his kids I could care less if we had a tv at all. The reception here is crappy and I've found I get depressed if I watch much TV at all and start wanting things I have no need for.

[witchbaby]

Originally Posted by minkajane

To be honest, we've never felt tv to be all that big a deal. I know a lot of people on MDC are very against it, but we've always been big tv people. It's basically on all the time when we're awake. I get bored very easily. I allow DS to watch Doodlebops or Elmo or something when I'm cooking or need a break. I'm very careful with what he watches. He can only watch stuff with lots of music, so that he gets up and dances instead of just sitting there, no violence, and no name-calling (which I see in a surprising amount of children's programming).

*whispering* i'm the same way. right now, sesame street is on our t.v. and k is reading good night, moon.

[Attila the Honey]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

What's all the Caillou hate about? I've seen this everywhere! I think its a wonderful kids show. Regrettably my 14mo takes his nap when it airs here, so I watch it by myself sometimes

I agree, Caillou is overall a sweet show that shows children being treated respectfully and it's visually cute. BUUUUT, that voice, good god that whiny voice, makes me want to pull my hair out. And when dd watches Caillou she starts talking like that, so it's no Caillou for us.

[siobhang]

A bit OT, but I was reminded about the assumptions folks make when you don't have a TV.

Several years ago, I was living in England in a house with two other women and one bloke. We didn't have a TV since we were all broke and rarely there (this was way before any of us were married/kids, etc).

One early Saturday morning, soon after we moved in, the doorbell rang and my female roommate N opened the door, wearing nothing but a dressing gown (her bedroom was right next to the front door). My other female roommate, L, heard the door, came down in her PJs, and stood right behind N, head peeking over N's shoulder. The two of them stood there while a TV licensing person asked them if they had a TV and if so, they needed to pay the license.

L and N looked at each other, confused (neither were from England so were a little confused about the licensing issue - and it was very early in the morning). They replied, "no, we don't have a TV."

The licensing person stood there for a second, looking confused. Then she said "OHHHHHHH. Of course not! Thank you. Good bye!"

After closing the door, N and L looked at each other, completely confused.

They finally figured it out. The licensing board woman had assumed they were a couple - and of course, she believed that lesbians don't own TVs!

We still chortle about this assumption years later (it is even more ironic since N is bi and she LOVES her TV).

[dancingmama]

I am not a fan of TV. But I do like my law-and-order! So what we've done, which works GREAT, is to have the TV in a off-the-beaten-path place, where nobody really wants to be. And nobody ever really thinks about using it much. It's in the attic/guest room, which is far away from the main activity of the house. DD would much rather be with people than off by herself. Plus, out of sight, out of mind. But if she is sick, or on a rare occasion (I'd say about once every three months or so), we put on a video or DVD and all go watch it together. So, no mystery, no forbidden fruit, but very little time spent or interest shown.

[maya44]

Originally Posted by Attila the Honey

I agree, Caillou is overall a sweet show that shows children being treated respectfully and it's visually cute. BUUUUT, that voice, good god that whiny voice, makes me want to pull my hair out. And when dd watches Caillou she starts talking like that, so it's no Caillou for us.

My kids are too old for Caillou now, but just this morning as she was flipping to the Weather Channel, my 11 year old came across Caillou.

"OMG!," she said, "that has to be the most annoying kid ever."