Do you censor your kids?

[KeanusMomma]

I am raising my child without violence, and I make sure any media I expose him to is nonviolent and in sync with what I teach him. I wouldn't want him to get the message that hitting is ok, or two wrongs make a right, or parents should be rude to their children, etc. But I've always thought censorship was wrong. Things like banning books from a library I know I don't agree with, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to keep a book or a tv show, etc., off-limits entirely. I'd rather just keep communication open, and talk about the issues the show or whatever brings up, to make sure a child could have all the facts without getting them distorted by it. But I wonder about the younger ones. How much censorship, and what kind, is beneficial? How do you do it age-appropriately?

[primjillie]

I never censored books, but I was very particular about the movies they watched and the video games they played. I did not want them exposed at an early age to most of the violence and sex that are in movies and a lot of tv shows, not to mention video games. It was hard since I was one of the few parents I knew that did this, but my childrens friend's parents were pretty good about not letting them watch shows and games I didn't approve of. My children are grown now, and they seem to be using the same philosophy with their children, so hopefully, they appreciated the effort. You just have to do what you feel right with, no matter what anyone else says.

[LiamnEmma]

Similar here. One of the things I appreciate the most about my upbringing is the lack of censorship involved. It meant I probably saw some things that I might not have been ready for and it would have been nice to have had a relationship with my parents where I could discuss it, but I appreciate having read whatever I fancied, watched shows I found interesting for whatever inane reason, etc.

I do have parental controls on our television--there is simply much much more available to the child eye than there was when it was five channels, you know?...well, before the Z channel anyway. --but I'm likely to type the password in for the dc's more and more often. They're 7 and 5 now. But as toddlers I absolutely censored and kept video games away from them and read creatively. Now I'm likely to open up some sort of discussion when something I find aversive comes up in reading, watching or play activities.

eta; That makes it sound as if it's a free-for-all at my house though and this is not the case. They are primarily limited to G. This is fine with dd, she prefers not to see anything above that anyway. DS (the 7 year old) is watching PG and some PG-13 as well, depending upon the content (Harry Potter, for example--but not Meet the Fockers). I rarely read creatively anymore (for one thing, he'd know, he can read, and for another, he mostly knows how I feel about things and is probably rolling his eyes inwardly at me anyway).

I believe that we cannot have yin without yang and that if I keep one from my children, my children cannot possibly find and live balance.

[boobjuice]

my son is 4 and i provide him access to age appropriate materials. I would 'protect' him from material that is not healthy for him. Our intention is to teach him ethics/morals as we go and as he is introduced to more mature media, we will provide supervision and stimulate conversation so he knows how to handle situations, make the right decisions, etc. hopefully this will provide him with the tools he needs to succeed.

[Linda on the move]

I did shelter my kids when they were preschoolers, but gradually stopped. They are 8 and 10 and are welcome to see/read whatever they want to. They think Meet the Fockers is funny, but some of the jokes go right over their heads. Mr. Jinx (the cat) is the main character as far as they are concerned and they find the debates on baby care really funny. That film is pro AP!

We read out loud a great deal and I'm finding more *questionable* material in classics than in modern books. For example, we are currently reading Tom Sawyer and there are LOTS of issues with racism and sexism, and doing right vs. doing wrong, etc. We talk a lot as we read.

I wouldn't want him to get the message that hitting is ok, or two wrongs make a right, or parents should be rude to their children, etc.

I think that kids learn what they live. I believe that how we treat them and how they see us treat others is more powerful than just about anything else -- including whatever we SAY about how one should behave. When my kids were toddlers (and sheltered from most media!) I had to teach them they hitting/bitting etc. is wrong because other people have feelings just like they have feelings. That basic concept didn't come naturally to either of them, but it wasn't an issue because of TV. I think it is a pretty normal toddler issue.

My kids see/read about people doing things that aren't great ideas, but they can process that. Actually, I like it when different issues come up because it gives us a chance to talk about thing -- sometime difficult things -- when none of us are emtional about the issues. We can talk about it in the abstract instead of waiting until it comes up in real life and is super charged.

[oceanbaby]

I definitely censor tv, but my son is only 5 and pretty sensitive to violent/scary things. I remember as a child my parents definitely censored violence, but rarely sexual issues, which actually makes more sense to me.

I can only think of one book that I ever "censored," as in refused to read more than once (we had gotten it from the library). It was a book that was supposed to be about celebrating the fact that families come in many different forms, which is totally fine, but it seemed to focus almost exclusively on death, illness and divorce, to the point where it was freaking him out. I just didn't feel like it was necessary to continue to have a conversation about my death everytime we read a bedtime story.

But anyhow, I guess I do censor in a way, yes. I assume it will be less and less as he gets older.

(Oh, I remember one other thing I censored. We were going over practice sentences given to us by his speech therapist, "g" sounds. One sentence was: "What helps us get better when we are sick? Drugs or Rugs?" It just bugged me so I substituted a different sentence.)

[Jessy1019]

I don't and won't censor. I've never had a difficult time discussing anything that warranted it with my daughter, and she's only four. I know a lot goes over her head, and when something doesn't make sense, she'll ask.

She also has pretty mature tastes . . . she likes House and Nip/Tuck and the other shows her dad and I watch, as well as some PG13 and R movies.

I also don't censor language (hers or others around her). The only exception would be negative words aimed at specific races, genders, etc. as I don't want to hear those myself.

[oyemicanto]

I do not equate providing age-appropriate materials with censorship. Children are not mini-adults and in my opinion should not be reading and watching material that is not appropriate to their cognitive and emotional development. It is my responsibility as a parent to make some judgement calls on the tv and movie front. Literature, well, at certain ages they simply can't comprehend certain ideas and storylines.

There is so much available that is appropriate for my children (3 and 5), and at this point it is my job to make the choices for them. As they grow older, we will work together on those choices, and eventually they will be making their own choices. But adult tv at this age? No way! What is the point? Mature themed movies? nope.

Censorship to me is a problem when people try to force their views and ban books/movies/art et cetera from the public forum so that nobody
has access to those materials. What I do in my home is not censorship, it's parenting.

[LiamnEmma]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

They think Meet the Fockers is funny...That film is pro AP!

Absolutely, it's a favored film of mine. Mosty I just don't feel like discussing some of the sexual content with ds at this point because I know he gets it. The problem is all mine!

[Mama Poot]

If I think its inappropriate, it gets censored until dh and I think our children are mature enough/old enough to understand it and gain something positive from it. That includes books, magazines, movies, tv shows, and whatever else is out there. There are books and several CD's in our home that we've already mentally labeled as "censored" and as the children get older, we will have to put them out of sight and reach.

[corhorvath]

I think I follow the same things as people have posted already. My oldest dd is 4.5 yo and I don't let her watch certain things and I pick out books that have a certain influence to them (ie, a strong/intelligent girl is usually a main character). I let her play car racing, tetris type, and ms. pac man video games with my dh but nothing that involves shooting (I don't think shooting people or things is a game).

This weekend, she watched Monster House and found it pretty scary. I let her watch it but wish I wouldn't have because she was afraid to go to the bathroom by herself afterwards. She won't go upstairs to her room by herself at night because she's afraid of ghosts and monsters. I don't know if this is because of her age and would be there regardless of movies or stories or is a result of the movies and stories.

I also don't like her seeing things like Victoria's Secret-type commercials or ads. I don't think it's a healthy message for a young girl. But, I let her play with Barbies so it's probably the same type of influence. I've always heard that a mother's comments and feelings about herself are the most influential and I'm happy with my body so, who knows?? My husband also never talks about women's bodies--except for complimenting me, he's so sweet, so I don't know if any type of censorship is even necessary.

I just try to provide a home that's encouraging and safe for her (and my younger dd who is only 7 mo).

[TheTruth]

If they are old enough explain it, if not old enough say youll explain when older. Once they can prove they are mature enough let them do whatever. Like for a few years now my parents have not been really strict on my gaming restrictions and almost never have been on movies.