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mamas of nov/dec 02 babes - Page 2

post #21 of 649

New!!

Hi, I am new to this site and this thread! I have a wonderful 19 week old, he was born on December 6, 2002. This seems like a very supportive community with philosophies similar to mine! Ever since the birth of my son, D.W., it seems the phrase "Man plans, God laughs" has been my motto! I was planning on breastfeeding exclusively for at least a year. I had/have overactive letdown (it's like making too much milk), and so after eight weeks, we had to let that go. I think it hurt me more than my son!! Then, I was going to be a SAHM, but that went out the window when my husband got injured on the job. Then he was going to stay at home, but now we both work full-time and D.W. is in daycare full-time. I am trying to make some changes in my life, so that I can stay at home, and that is working out, but not for a few months. Plus, I am going through sleep deprivation and the adjustment of being a Mom. You know, where you realize that your life is now at the mercy of the baby, and planning doesn't make a difference. My baby hasn't slept through the night yet! He also seems to be suffering from hay fever, or allergies. I am just hoping he's not allergic to the dog. I guess you could say that I am a little overwhelmed, and although I usually talk to my Mother, she never worked full-time when I was an infant, so she's not much help right now. I really came to a head the other night. First ear infection. He's on antibiotics, and I just feel that all of my ideals/ideas/principles are going out of the window!
I would really love to hear some encouragement from you other mothers out there. I am a social worker, so I am used to giving and not getting the advice/support. I know that things are going to work out, and I am happy that my baby is healthy and thriving, but I feel that things could be so much better if I could work from home NOW, and also I am trying to buy a house!
post #22 of 649
Hello after a long absence! Grace is watching a video and Lily is sleeping, so I can actually post rather than lurk! Ive GOT to work on this "going to bed at a decent hour" thing as far as the kids go. Never mind posting on mesage boards, it is really difficult to find the opportunity for a little lovin!

Grace is doing well. She and I have been battling for most of the past few months with her sassy 3 yr old attitude, but I think I am getting better at heading things off. I can change my tone when I speak to her even if her tone is terrible... sometimes her tone changes. We talk a lot about disrespectful tone of voice, and demanding and rudeness. On the flip side, she truly is crazy about Lily. Loves her so much, tells her so all the time. Just this morning "You are my best bug in the whole world!" (Grace is LittleBug and sometimes Lily is BabyBug).

Lily is starting to do the bulldozer crawl already, which is hilarious! She has grown out of many of her 3-6 month clothes already. She is laughing more, and in the squealy scream phase. enjoying the sound of her own voice!

I am doing okay. I am trying to find ways to improve my mood, as I seem to have some post partum depression going on. I don't want to be medicated, but am looking for some vitamins/herbs and some diet recommendations. I take a prenatal as well as calcium, and sometimes alfalfa.

We have new pictures up at our website: http://community.webshots.com/user/jenihuffs


edited to add: Your hair loss is likely normal. When we are pregnant, we dont lose any hair, or so I have been led to believe. When we give birth and our bodies are returning to a more normal chemical state, we start to shed, so to speak. So dont freak out, it is normal!

Hope to post more soon!
post #23 of 649
HI All!! Abram is really teething but no teeth yet, I looked up in Emma's book yesterday she got her first tooth at 6 months, so maybe soon? I know there all differest, but poor babe is in much pain. So Abram is also seriously in love with food. Kicking moving arms you all know the drill I'm sure, so I've given in to letting him eat rice cereal and he has tried a few veggies and a few fruits. So I guess he's now an eater(just the last few days) I had to give in because he would get so wound up while we were eating, o well what are you going to do. Had a bad week I'm watching my DIL dogs and one ran away. Looks like for good it's been a week now. So that really stinks because it was on my watch. Well mamas I hope you'll have a better week then I have had the last few days.
post #24 of 649
Thread Starter 

what do i do???

I live in Duluth and have to go to chicago for a business/research trip. It will be a fly down wednesday, fly back thursday. Do I leave dd? my heart says no....it will be 174 bucks for dh to fly along and hang out...but a whole lot of stress for them. we would likely stay in a hotel (paid for) but they would have to check out well before we left town...but i've not been away for more than 4 hours before....

what do you think?
post #25 of 649
Can I join you ladies?
My daughter, Kiera, was born (at home) Dec 10th.
post #26 of 649
ging-ging - they are TOO cute! that one of them it just makes my heart melt. i often find myself sleeping b/t my 5mo and 4yo. so sweet.

kerc-will she take EBM? if so, i say leave her. it might be more stressful dragging them out and you'll only be gone what? 36 hours? it is hard, but that kind of travel is also hard on a little one.

DW's mom- take a breath you're doing the best you can. life will be better when you're a SAHM again, but you're working toward that now. that's all that matters. just think of every day at work as one step closer to sahm/wahmhood. before you know it, the time will be here!

PiesandAbrosmama-i did the same thing w/isa. she is seriously nuts for food! she loves it so, how can i deny her?

skydancer-perfectly normal hair loss if i'm typical i cut and keep my hair short b/c i hate pulling out those gobs in the shower and sticking them to the wall, gross.

welcome rebx!
post #27 of 649
kerk - I say take them with you. try price line for a ticket. I flew from SD to TX for $125 (about $450 less than retail) on a 2 day notice. not to shabby. I say definitely take them with you. it sould like everyone will be misreable if you don't.

I gave Ava some applesauce today. Loved it She didn't let a drop escape down her chin. I think I have created a monster already. We were desperate for a distraction today. She was up by 4 (I am a late sleeper - this was a cruel twist of fate) and she wanted to play and would except nothing less than attention. And then she hasn't slept more than 20 minutes at a time (and only 3 times at that) today and is still awake and cranky. I don't think I can hold out another minute. So we thought apple sauce might be a treat., And it was (Lily sure thought so. When I went to put the rest of the jar away it was scraped clean. Goofy kid)

Anyway, glad to see all the new moms. Welcome.
post #28 of 649
DD doesn't sleep. Without my nipple in her mouth. She's been awake for 12 hours now. She was up every hour last night. Yes, I can nurse lying down, but I'm small-breasted so I have to arch my back to keep her from popping off. I ache from my eyebrows to my toenails from holding that position all night.

Can you tell I'm going insane? I can't even muster a smilie icon.

DH says to let her CIO. Honestly, I'm at that point as well, except for one thing. I was an awful sleeper as a child. Insomnia, nightmares, you name it. And I vividly remember being locked in my room at 8 years old to CIO. I'm just beginning to forgive my mother for it.

So what can I do? She won't take a finger, she won't take a pacifier. She didn't used to be this bad. It's just gotten worse.

She's doesn't seem unhappy, but I'm miserable. She's like, "what, no nipple in my mouth? Must not be bedtime, must be playtime!" 12 hours!! And I didn't even get a 2 hour stretch of sleep last night!

Oh, this is so karma for the hell I put my mom through...

I'm sorry for my outburst. But I'm bursting.
post #29 of 649
Thread Starter 
((greenfaeriedog))

my dd is a TERRIBLE sleeper (when she's not nursing). All my friends told me all about how much dissertation work i would get done while dd napped. HA! At least I didn't really believe them to begin with.

Things that helped:
*getting on a daily schedule (routine might be a better word)....NOT my style at all but it is working.

*going walking outside

*stroller time

*car time (with dh with bottle to get dd to sleep while I drive)

*bedtime routine REALLY helps us -- ours is:
4pm daddy time begins (I work out, work, whatever out of the house) they go for a run in the stroller or just play
6pm quiet time with dad. bottle for dd if she's hungry
630pm bath time with dad
645 mom comes home, helps get erin dressed
7pm dim lights in bedroom, one story then mom nurses to sleep

*and finally lots of help from others to keep mom entertained on the days nothing works except the boob in the mouth.
post #30 of 649
kerc/kristin, having read that post, i strongly suggest you bring the baby. yes it will be difficult, but it will be easier than leaving and worrying and your body going haywire. of course what i mean is i would bring the baby if it were me.
i'm still regretting the two nights my boys spent at mil when new babe was born, ds2 still wakes up screaming for me all night and acts like i'm going to desert him, when he never did before. so maybe he would be doing that anyway but i feel regret at not following my instincts since it seemed inconvenient and i was unable to get others yo cooperate. of course i tend to be a hypersensitive individual.
if you do leave the baby bring a pump!

i have got to go get some teething tablets today.

greenfairiedog/meg, the breast is more than food for the babe. what you experiencing is common for natural nursing. you will have to weigh your options and find the balance, or go on what feels right for now knowing you can change it later. i can say, since i have been human pacifier for almost five years now, that it is hardest because i'm not familiar with the concept of the breast as a pacifier. and outside pressure is huge. i mean that if everyone did it then i would probably not find it a problem.

nursing is a surrendering of your body. the baby does not begin knowing the difference between sucking for food and sucking for comfort. i have observed many mothers doing both.

consider how much time you are with the baby and how long you might be doing that. basically you will be "training" the baby to be with you most the time or to be with others most the time and to cope successfully. the pros of using the boob is that when you plug it in they are quiet. this gets to be handy when they are one and are mad because a toy doesn't work the way they want it to or when you are at a wedding and things like that. otherwise you will have other ways to calm them down like going to a quiet place singing rocking distraction etc. nursing usually ends up being the most convenient though the public is a bit unfriendly and it is also the fastest. but they will need you more, all the time, than most people are comfortable with. this person may be you. the hardest part may be your partner. they will feel like you have special ammo they lack. many a time this becomes a big issue for marriages/partnerships. but in the end you have to live with yourself. they do not stay babies long though it may seem interminable. remember you can change your mind anytime for crying it out, and it will be easier if you are determined to accomplish it so the baby knows you are relaxed and happy about it. when you are gentle but firm and confident they can sense it and this will help miles in getting them to comply.

having said all that, i can tell you that my 2 does not rely on tv, but my husband insisted weaning my four to the tv at two and it was a big issue that i am finally getting over. you cope with what skills you have and learn to live gracefully with your choices.
i always end up doing things the "hard"way since it is emotionally and mentally better for me. but i do have to fight for alone time.

clay is whining so i have no idea if what i'm writing makes sense or is offensive, gotta go
post #31 of 649
Okay, I'm better. After a half hour car ride, she zonked. And slept *pretty* well all night.

Your replies mean so much to me. Kerc, I am trying to "routine" (not "schedule") her. But only in the past few days. And I'm not a routine person, and DH is not a routine person, so we will have to learn to adjust to that before DD does. Our morning routine works so well, but it starts to crumble by afternoon and is in pieces by evening. Casina, you're right. I am honestly okay with being a human pacifier, if it's what DD needs. But DH has subtle problems with it. DH keeps talking in the sense that she's ALREADY 4 months old, I'm still thinking she's ONLY 4 months old. Anyone else KWIM?

And I just want to add, she does fall asleep in the car, but I can't rely on that. We are a one-car, one-licensed driver household. And it ain't me! I can drive, but badly. So I don't like taking our lives in my hands, as it were. If you see a woman in pajamas driving a red Toyota Echo, clear the road!!

Off to her 4-month check-up. Gonna find out how big she is, officially. Gonna see how the doctor reacts that I'm still not giving her shots...
post #32 of 649
here's a nursing joke:

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his
weight, found it somewhat below normal, and asked if the baby was
breast fed or bottle fed. "Breast fed," she replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered . He pressed,
kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts for a while in a
detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
post #33 of 649
Thread Starter 

after much worry and debate

my breastpump and not my baby will accompany me to chicago. dh will spend two whole days with erin.....it breaks my heart to think of it! but it would have been four days of hell if we drove, two of which would have entailed dh and dd spending all day in a motel on the south side of chicago. urgh. my heart just breaks to know that i will have to be without erin for a night, please be gentle with me those mamas who suggested bringing her.

I have to go to be trained in a new lab technique. I am confident that learning this method now is the best thing for my family in the long run -- it will likely lead to my research being successful sooner rather than later and thus will lead to a job sooner rather than later. I think with the milk I have in the freezer and what extra i will be able to pump in the meantime that i will be able to leave just milk for dh to feed her. That makes me feel better.


glad to hear you got a better night last night greenfaeriedog.

casina --
post #34 of 649
Greenfairie - Have you read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" By elizabeth Pantley? I highlyrecommend it. While it won't have her sleeping through the night in 3 easy days, it will give y ou iideas how to help her learn to fall asleep without the nipple in her mouth and stay asleep for longer stretches all with little to no frustration on her part

The first step is making a detailed log of your days and nights. Do you have any patterns? How much is she waking? sleeping? eating? What do you do before bed? when you wak up? what is her day like?

It does stronmgly encourage routiens. Not just bedtime but a general routien for the day. Nothing hyper structured but more like "get up, go for a walk in the morning, have quiet time in the late morning, nap, run errends, enjoy supper, start bnedtime routien, go to bed.

It is more a list of suggestions and how to make a plan rather than *a plan*. it is also not a quick fix. May take months but it is worth it.

I understand how you feel. My second dd was a sucky sleeper. We implemented a lot of things in the pantley bok and would you believ at 3 she is sleeping more than she was a 6 months. She had to be so tired (which would explain her cronic crankyness and general ability to wind down) in those first couple of years.

And finally, and this is way controversial but I think more people do it than will ever fess up, Ava sleeps on her tummy. I can't belive the difference it makes in her ability to sleep. After about a week right at the start where she never slept for more thatn 20 minutes (right aftre she outgrew swaddling) i put her on her tummy to see if that would help. She fell asleep that way and slept for hours. I timidly tried it a couple more time alternating and she never slept more than half an h our on her back but would sleep for a minimum pof 3-4 hours on her tummy and she was happier getting the rest she needed. I figured I would just risk it. She has absolutely no other risk factors for sids. if someone smoked in my house, if she had vaccines, if she slept in a crib down the hall I would be militant about her sleeping on her back and I wouldn't let anyone else put her to sleep on her tummy but in our home with me around I feel comfortable with it.
post #35 of 649
Casina your last post brought a to my face--thanks.

I'm glad to hear that our lack of schedule is basically life expressing itself. The sleep thing is only hard if I have a preconceived idea of how it should go--i.e that ds should be asleep by a certain time or that his naps should take place at home and for a certain length of time. None of which ever usually happens. At this point his naps occur at their own time and in their place (usually on me) and bedtime is sometimes early and sometimes later. When I'm able to let go of how I want it to be it's easier but it's not always easy to surrender. It's a day by day concentration. I said to dh the other day, "I wish I could just surrender finally and ultimately," but I'm realizing that motherhood is a series of ongoing opportunities to surrender each day, each night.

Today I was listening to ds squeal in delight as he discovered the higher register of his voice and thought of all you mamas taking joy in your little ones as well. It was nice to feel the link of motherhood.

Kerc blessings on your travels.

Greenfaieriedog--glad to hear you got some time out...if the car counts which it does for me.

gotta go I hear ds.
post #36 of 649
Ah, it will get better. Thank you to everyone for sleeping ideas. I will read up on the Pantley book. She just prefers to be awake. And after awhile, I need my sleep. But I don't want to leave her with DH while I sleep because inevitably it will become CIO.

At exactly 4 months, she is 12 pounds 15 ounces. And they measured her at 24 and 3/4 inches, but she's longer than that. This morning I measured her at 26 inches. Yesterday she didn't want to stretch out, so with the nurse tugging on her legs and DH pulling on her head, is it any wonder she started to scream and I picked her up? So I measured her during her "good morning" stretch today. She's somewhere between the 2 measurements. How big are the other babies here?
post #37 of 649
2 weeks ago Ava was 15# and 24" but i don't think that length is right. I charted it and she dropped from the 80% to the 25% and she is still longer than any baby her age I iknow. The nurse at our peds office sucks.
post #38 of 649
okay, i have beautiful babe pix up in my sig now so check out my cutie patooties - will ya? and i set up my website all by myself so i'm very proud :

i have to say, carmen dd2 was a hard sleeper as an infant, had to cry. she just needed the release i guess. she is the only one i CIOd with but that was not until later (around 8 mos i think?) and after one sad frustrating night of on and off crying/comfort, she would cry for less than 60 seconds b4 going to bed but would always cry. and she slept much better w/out me. isa seems to prefer sleeping on her own as well. but at least maria still sleeps w/me! so i'm not alone!

do what feels right for you and your little one. advice is good, but kids are so different, sometimes you gotta follow those instincts.

lilyka-all 3 of my girls slept the way they were comfortable. honestly, i don't believe in sids myself. i think there is definitely a vaccine connection. don't tell me not to put my baby down w/lots of blankets or not to smoke or she'll get sids - that's no mystery illness that can't be explained. that's called suffocation. or exposure to smoke. i thinks sids is a vaccine reaction in probably 50%+ of cases. there's been studies done. so sad.

i'm a tummy sleeper myself. and as soon as my girls could roll, no matter which way i turned 'em they always rolled to their tummys for comfort.
post #39 of 649
leighanne, what a beautiful family! and one of the cutest babies i have ever seen. thank you for sharing.

my brain is fried, i was confused about maria being four and born in 1999 and i had to tell myself what year this is.

my kids sleep hardly, when i brag about their precociousness really it's just that they are too busy to sleep. i was over at my sil, her babe is three weeks younger than mine and she took five naps while ruby took one twenty minute one.
i guess i'll go measure her......
okay, ruby mei is 28 inches and has been hovering around eighteen pounds for awhile. good thing my children try to be giant when i'm determined to carry them.
post #40 of 649
Wow, big babies! But I have to remember that my dd is one of the youngest here.

Wonderful website! Three beauties! Very impressive.

DD was awake from 8 am to 8 pm today. She dozed twice, each time for about a half-hour during a feeding. I've been keeping a journal, and that's about the norm for her. Well, I gave up naps at 3 years old, why shouldn't my dd at 4 months? All three of yours are like this Casina? I don't know how you do it.

Kerc, sounds like you're making the right decision. Your dd would be proud of you. It sounds like interesting work.
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