NEED ADVICE! Jehovah Witness nanny... - Page 2

[jennica]

Originally Posted by KristiMetz

Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone know where I can view the latest tract online?

I am curious now. :

Here it is; http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/122327/1.ashx

[CryPixie83]

Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house. :

My dh and I were rofl at the trenchcoat-clad, cat-eating pagan thing though

[helen_emily]

OP: Good on you for keeping an eye on your new MH. I work as a nanny and it worries me when new families leave me with their children right away! Someone could have great credentials but you still need to spend time around them!

Originally Posted by KristiMetz

If you feel like you have to pay attention to that degree, has your trust of her been compromised? It seems like it might have... ...You shouldn't have to "watch" her to make sure she's not doing anything like that, and whether or not she would, if you feel like she MIGHT... right or wrong...

It's true that if you employ someone they should feel "right" to you... But a parent should watch anyone new who is interacting with their children! It sometimes takes time for certain personality traits to come out (one that I can think of is a "short fuse" or bad temper - you wouldn't see this until the child had done something frustrating!) and without that first period of observation you would be far more likely to miss something!

Originally Posted by KristiMetz

Maybe you should consider that in deciding whether or not to continue to employe her. Just something to think about.

I don't know about the US, but in Australia this would be considered unfair dismissal - discriminating against someone because of their religion! If she continues to preach after a request not to it would be reasonable to look at letting her go. But as it is if she doesn't bring up anything like this again, then the OP has no grounds for dismissal. (according to our law anyhow)

HTH

ETA:

Originally Posted by Lyricc

Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.

Rofl! Seriously! And I thought I was getting extreme with my method of scaring away religious doorknockers... The time they came by at 7am on a weekend morning (I work weekend nights, too!) I just answered the door in what I'd been wearing in bed - my poor old seethrough nightie and nothing else! The poor old guy managed to do his schpiel and I even took his literature, but he's never been back!

[RainCoastMama]

Originally Posted by jennica

I'm in the process of leaving the JW religion for various reasons, and I just had to jump in here with my perspective. First, yes, prosilitizing is a part of their religion. Not only is it a part of the religion, it is a MAJOR part, as you are not even counted as a JW if you do not do it. Even if you attend church three times a week, you still do not count as a JW if you do not go out and preach. Converting people is not a requirement, so technically the above poster was right, but preaching, which is what you are talking about, is a part of the religion. She may be what is called a 'pioneer', since you say she only works for you part time. Pioneers put 70 hours a month into the preaching work, and generally a lot more gung ho about preaching to people than the average JW.

Also, what she reflexively thinks of you and your family is this, you are 'worldly' people. 'Worldy' or 'wicked ones' will be destroyed at armageddon, very very soon. Yes, they believe that aramgeddon is coming very soon and only JW's, and maybe a couple other random people that never had the oppurtunity to be preached to by a JW, will survive. JW's have an us versus them mentality, you and your family are 'them', 'worldly' and 'wicked'. Since she beleives that armageddon is coming very, very soon, and your family will be destroyed, as she becomes more attached to your family she will also want to preach to you more so that you will not die. It is very sad really, and I am very ashamed I ever believed such a thing, but I was born into it, so at least I have that excuse.

I am not sure that this will affect how she will take care of your kids. She will not be able to allow herself to become as emotionally attached to them as anyone else would, as she truly believes that they will die very soon if you and your dh do not change you wicked ways. JW's naturally put up walls between themselves and 'worldly' people, I know because those walls are starting to come down for me. I am sure she is a very good person and very honest as most JW's are. You have nothing to fear by having her in your home in that regard.

One last thing, just a heads up on the tract. It is a world wide tract compaign going on right now with the JW's. The JW's believe that before armageddon can happen, there will be what is called a great tribulation, which will start when the end of false religion and a declaration of peace and security is achieved globaly. "False Religion" is any religion that is not Jehovah's Witness, since they of course are true religion. Did you read the tract? It tells how we can identify "true" relgion, and is rather pointed in how it condems "false religion". It is very offensive to many groups of people.

Everyone -thank you once again for your perspectives! More to mull around and just be aware of...we always have an ear to our MHs as DH works at home, and I'm usually around (our MHs have honestly been so I can clean and cook healthy meals or give each child some 1-1 attention)

Jennica, this was a truly educational post. My MH did state that she was content to only work for us 15 hrs a week and no other job as she was very involved in her church's activities - it all makes sense - maybe she's a pioneer as you stated.

Funny note - she did mention that she swears that she came to my house once to hand out info, and that I was very nice, told her the baby was in the bath and wished her a good day Thank gods I didn't slam the door... (we never do that...my religion has the utmost respect for difference and variety - one goal, many paths...)

[lalaland42]

I also am not a Christian and I would be a little careful about hiring anyone of any religion who was particularly *strong* in their convictions. That said, I would probably give that particular woman the benefit of the doubt this one time. Since you already stated your preference, next time I would have a bigger issue.

Gotta go, DD is stirring. I do have to add, DD just learned to say "booba" (Buddha). I am so proud.

[grisandole]

Originally Posted by CryPixie83

Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house. :

My dh and I were rofl at the trenchcoat-clad, cat-eating pagan thing though

This is my current experience with the Witnesses. Brief and cordial.

[WNB]

Originally Posted by grisandole

This is my current experience with the Witnesses. Brief and cordial.

ditto they have been pleasant and neighborly, I can be the same. I didn't want to give them the impression I was considering joining their church though, and once I made that clear the visits stopped, which was also fine by me.

[fyrflymommy]

Originally Posted by KristiMetz

Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone know where I can view the latest tract online?

I am curious now. :

Whoops...edited bcuz I see someone already posted the jehovahs-witness.com site! Check out the "Best of.." forum while yer there...

fyrfly--a former JW

[spero]

Originally Posted by CryPixie83

Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house. :

You're lucky. I was once in the house cleaning, and heard my then 3 and 5 year olds (who were playing in the sandpile just outside the open window) speaking to somebody (adult voices) outside. We live on a private road, and at that time there was nobody else here who would have been around to talk to them. My view of the visitors was blocked by the shed, so I ran outside to see whom they were talking to.

A JW couple was "witnessing" to them. I was majorly pissed, told them to put me on their "never visit this house again" list, and warned them never to trepass on my property AGAIN.

Not long after that, I was grocery shopping with the kids and a bunch of JWs were proselytizing specifically to pre-teens and teens who were hanging out alone in the parking lot. : They were actually inviting kids to "come view a video in our van, it will only take a few minutes"!!! : I immediately found the manager and told him that JWs were practicing illegal solicitation (to KIDS, no less!) in the parking lot.

Omigosh, I couldn't get over the nerve! The group in my area really pushes the limits - they must be desperate for members.

To the OP - I'd be very cautious, and keep your ears open at all times!

[jennica]

Originally Posted by RainCoastMama

Jennica, this was a truly educational post. My MH did state that she was content to only work for us 15 hrs a week and no other job as she was very involved in her church's activities - it all makes sense - maybe she's a pioneer as you stated.

Funny note - she did mention that she swears that she came to my house once to hand out info, and that I was very nice, told her the baby was in the bath and wished her a good day Thank gods I didn't slam the door... (we never do that...my religion has the utmost respect for difference and variety - one goal, many paths...)

I just wanted to add, that as a JW I did work children and I never tried preaching to them. Since your MH only works part time, and you guys are around, I would think that she would be fine with the kids. However, it is an individual thing as to whether or not she will keep trying to preach to your family or not. If she tried to preach again, then I would take that as an indication that her personality wont allow her not to. I was thinking that working with your family might be a good experience for her. It might open up her mind a little to see that 'pagan's' are good people just like everyone else, and don't deserve to die simply because they worship in a different way. I would just keep my eye on her for a awhile and see how it goes.

[Chavelamomela]

I had a somewhat related experience with my babysitter (sorta).

We are Observant Jews, and we hired a wonderful bbsitter, who is a 7th day adventist. She is terrific.

One day, when I was in the house w. bbsitter and ds, I overheard her singing a song (sounded like a nursery song) to Ds. I had never heard it before, and so I listened in...and then one of the words was "Jesus". Now, I don't have a problem with that for her kids, her church, etc, but as our Jewish beliefs are not the same as christianity, I respectfully asked her not to sing that song (or any other religious song) to our son. She totally understood, and I also knew it was an accident - this was just a child-oriented song she had in her head, she was not trying to convert my son to her religion. She now sings him more generic songs without any religious connection (think Mary had a little lamb, twinkle twinkle, where is thumbkin...)

Did it make me think? Sure, but we also knew that our bbsitter did not do it on purpose. She totally has respected our other religious rules of our house, including respecting our kosher home and the restrictions that our religious life entails. We have been able to deal with issues like this in a loving and respectful manner.

So as long as she understands and respects that your religious life is a non-negotiable before she enters your home, I don't think you'll have a problem.

[ollineeba]

Jennica, thanks for all the info in your posts.. it's something DH and I have been trying to understand since his best friend became JW 2 yrs ago. He has really distanced himself and my DH is just heartbroken over the loss of a friend.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by jennica

I am not sure that this will affect how she will take care of your kids. She will not be able to allow herself to become as emotionally attached to them as anyone else would, as she truly believes that they will die very soon if you and your dh do not change you wicked ways. JW's naturally put up walls between themselves and 'worldly' people, I know because those walls are starting to come down for me. I am sure she is a very good person and very honest as most JW's are. You have nothing to fear by having her in your home in that regard.

This makes me sad as I have ALWAYS believed it was the reasons DH's family ignores my children. DH said it is not, but in your post it looks like it is. (He was also born into it.)

[jennica]

Originally Posted by mama2babybeans

Jennica, thanks for all the info in your posts.. it's something DH and I have been trying to understand since his best friend became JW 2 yrs ago. He has really distanced himself and my DH is just heartbroken over the loss of a friend.

That's too bad. The religion encourages it's members to "be no part of the world". They can associate with "worldly" people, but only with work or sometimes with unbelieving relatives, but are encouraged to not associate with "worldy" friends.

[jennica]

Originally Posted by aniT

This makes me sad as I have ALWAYS believed it was the reasons DH's family ignores my children. DH said it is not, but in your post it looks like it is. (He was also born into it.)

Yes, and the sad thing is that they don't know they are doing it, so it isn't really something you could ever have a meaningful discussion about. It is more of psychological thing that is done subconsiously, in order to not go insane with your beliefs. If you actually think about it, you do start to go insane, which is one thing that happened to me durring other difficulties I was having in my life and this helped open my eyes about the religion.

[lyttlewon]

Originally Posted by RainCoastMama

Will she continue to leave scripture around? Will she try to brainwash my kids? (I don't think so...) Is it part of her religion to convert us? Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved? How the heck is this going to affect how she takes care of my kids???

RainCoastMama,
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness (I am no longer a member of the church) so I can probably help. As far as leaving scripture around she should not continue to do so after she has been asked not to. It is possible she will. JW's are taught to be subtle with their message. She might hear you mention something one day and try and work it into a conversation. Birthdays and holidays are a perfect example of this. Yes it is part of her religion to convert you. However she is supposed to respect any boundries you set. Although if she cares for your family she is taught that it is important to share the message of salvation with those you love. I would take it as a compliment not as an offense. She most likely does feel sorry for you in a way because she wishes you could feel what she feels being a witness. Witnesses believe they are chosen by God to live forever in paradise. How could you not want to share that with people?

There may be some things she will be uncomfortable about and you need to be firm. If she feels Christmas shouldn't be followed by the family as an example she may try to share information with your children on the birth of Christ. Personally the way my mother taught us was to respect other people's wishes once they refused the message however we weren't discouraged from saying Santa was fake or that Halloween was a devilish holiday.

I think it really depends on the person you are dealing with and how she was taught. As far as the brainwashing goes your kids would have to be endoctrinated in order for that to really happen. Their practicies of shunning etc are typically only performed on their own members and not on those they consider "worldly". Please feel free to PM me if you have more questions.

[lyttlewon]

.

[lyttlewon]

Originally Posted by jennica

I'm in the process of leaving the JW religion for various reasons, and I just had to jump in here with my perspective.

Jennica,
If you ever need to talk please PM me. I left 12 years ago and can probably help with any questions or support you might need. I also know of an awesome support group online that is made up of former Witnesses. It is going to be hard for you to shed the teachings depending on how ingrained you were in the religion. I was raised from birth so it was quite traumatic for me.

[southernboy66]

Your wishes should be granted, if you say you are not interested then she should do her job and not press the issue any further. There also seems to be some confusion as to why we do what we do and if we are doing a "converting" work. I have taken some information from some Watchtower articles. They are from a 1964, 2003 and 2004 Watchtowers. I hope this clears things up a bit. I would also like to thank the people who say they are kind and polite to JW's when they come to their homes. We have people call the police on us, cuss us after they say they are "Christians", call their dogs on us, and many other abuses. During the latest tract campaign, we have had people crumple the tract up right in front of us. One person even lit it on fire. We know most people don't want to hear what we have to say but just remember we are in a life saving work and we are only following Jesus example and doing what he told his followers to do. We are just messengers and no one can be converted unless they have the right heart condition and God draws the individual as can be seen from the Scripture at John 6:44.

• Is it right to say that Jehovah’s witnesses do a converting work or a proselyting work?According to Webster’s Third New International Dictionary, to convert is “to bring over or persuade (a person or group) to a particular belief, view, course, party, or principle often from a previously held position” or “to bring about a spiritual conversion in (as a religious conversion in a person or group).” A proselyte is defined as “one who has been converted from one religious faith to another.” Hence, to proselyte is “to convert from one religion, belief, opinion, or party to another.” A proselytizer is therefore “one that makes or tries to make proselytes.”
To his followers Jesus said: “Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, . . . teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you.” (Matt. 28:19, 20) Were they not to do proselyting work, to make disciples? Indeed they were, and Christ’s modern-day followers do the same thing. If turning pagans from false worship to Judaism was proselyting them, then, also, turning pagans to Christianity means proselyting them. Of course, they do not use force or unchristian methods in their preaching work. No coercion is employed to bring about conversion. Instead, Biblical truths are taught today by Jehovah’s Christian witnesses. Those with righteous hearts respond to the truth. It is not the personal force of the minister that changes the person, for Christ said: “No man can come to me unless the Father, who sent me, draws him.” (John 6:44) It is the truth of God’s Word, as preached by Jehovah’s witnesses, that sets persons free from religious bondage. (John 8:32) Those who hear the message of truth must individually decide whether to accept or reject it. They determine whether to turn around, to make a change in life, to quit being fashioned after this system of things and become converts to true Christianity.—Rom. 12:2.
But Jehovah’s witnesses are doing a proselyting work, a work of conversion, just like that of the early Christians. Due to their ministry, hundreds of thousands of persons have abandoned Babylon the Great. And we joyfully look to the future, for there still remains some time for others to heed the admonition: “Get out of her, my people.”—Rev. 18:4.
Pressuring people to change their religion is wrong. Certainly, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not act in such a way. Rather, like the first-century Christians, they preach the good news to everyone. Any who respond voluntarily are invited to take in more knowledge by means of a Bible study. Such interested ones learn to put faith, solidly based on accurate Bible knowledge, in God and his purposes. As a result, they call on God’s name, Jehovah, for salvation. (Romans 10:13, 14, 17) Whether they will accept the good news or not is a matter of personal choice. There is no compulsion. If there were, conversion would be meaningless. To be acceptable to God, worship must come from the heart.—Deuteronomy 6:4, 5; 10:12.
There are many reasons to witness from house to house. Each time we call on a householder, we try to plant a seed of Scriptural truth. By making return visits, we seek to water it. And there can be a fine cumulative effect, for Paul wrote: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God kept making it grow.” (1 Corinthians 3:6)
We do the work of evangelizers because lives are at stake. By preaching we can save ourselves and those who listen to us. (1 Timothy 4:16) If we knew that a person’s life was endangered, would we make only one feeble attempt to help him? Hardly! Since salvation is involved, we make repeated calls at the homes of people. Circumstances keep on changing. Someone who is too busy to listen on one occasion may be willing to hear the Bible’s message at another time. A different member of the family may answer the door, and that could lead to a Scriptural discussion.
Not only their circumstances but also the attitude of householders can change. For instance, the painful loss of a loved one in death may move an individual to listen to the Kingdom message. We hope to comfort the person, make him conscious of his spiritual need, and show how it can be satisfied.—Matthew 5:3, 4.
17 Foremost among our reasons for witnessing from house to house or engaging in other forms of the Christian ministry is the desire to have a share in making known Jehovah’s name. (Exodus 9:16; Psalm 83:18)

[sparkprincess]

This quote just made me think: if you do talk to her further be sure to give very specific example of the type of behavior you don't want to see. For example, I'm a Christian and even though I consider myself respectful of other religions, if someone came to me and said they were having a problem I WOULD respond by saying that I'll pray for them and their situation - I'm not going to "send out healing vibes" or whatever. I don't see how that could be disrespectful (again, this isn't about praying for a conversion, but just praying for a certain situation). And as a pp mentioned, because I'm Christian I'm sure "Christian" type things come flying out of my mouth all the time. Just like I hear people say they'll send out healing vibes or whatever - I wouldn't expect someone to say they are going to pray for me if they aren't into praying just because that's MY religion. Also, I think as long as she doesn't cross any lines it could be a good learning experience for your kids. Maybe not worry too much that if she says anything religious she'll "convert" your kids, ya know?

And again, just be very, very clear!

Originally Posted by wombat

Sorry my mom was a JW. I bet she saw that house of yours FULL of 'pagan' ornaments and just felt you needed that JW tract desperately. My mom would always go around muttering about 'pagan' this and 'pagan' that and false religions.

I find JW's are like most other religions in that once you make it clear to them you have your own beliefs, they'll try to be respectful. But it's like those Christians who even when they know you're not religious still say 'bless you' or 'I'll pray for you' all the time. JW's are kinda programmed to 'save' people. If you're firm and clear about your expectations of her job, it'll probably not be a problem.

She's probably fine, just keep an eye on her.