NEED ADVICE! Jehovah Witness nanny... - Page 4

[jessieann]

Originally Posted by aniT

My husband is non-active. We had not only been dating awhile, but had already decided to get married AND I was pregnant before he even TOLD me his family was JW. He was embarrassed that he was JW. He knew that people see a JW and run the other way. And to be honest, had he told me that from the beginning I probably WOULD have run the other way. But since he was non-active I guess he didn't consider himself a JW enough to tell until he HAD to.

see, thats what bothers me. you admitted that you would have run the other way if you knew he was a witness beforehand....but look, you gave him a chance because you didn't know, and he was just a normal guy like anyone else. That's what bugs me. People can't see me as just a normal girl that would take good care of their children. They've labeled me and assumed that I'm some crazy bible thumping weirdo that's going to poison the minds of their children.....but thats not the case at all!

[RainCoastMama]

* Never mind. Not getting into this discussion again.

[AlmostAPpropriate]

Jessieann, how long have you been around your new religion? I do think it's terrible to discriminate on the basis of religion. I take it that you do too.

In any job outside caregiver I dont think it would be a problem. It's just that with a child's nanny you want them to become like part of the family, for a real attachment to develop and give your child that security. Its unlike any other field.

That said, as a Jehovah Witness, do you decide who your close companions will be based on their religion? Would you allow your children to develop "best friends" who were not part of your religion? As your approach conversion, have you been encouraged to break ties or distance yourself from former friends?

[delfin]

I agree with waht other post say, working with kids is not just another job. And I understand parents looking for caregivers whose beliefs are in tune with theirs.
Its religion, and its kids, and its something very personal, and people tendo to get protective of what they believe is correct.
Why dont you try to find a family within your church?

[FancyPants]

Originally Posted by Lyricc

Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.



they never came back again.

lmao

Oh ty! I haven't read all 4 pages but I really needed a laugh.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by jessieann

see, thats what bothers me. you admitted that you would have run the other way if you knew he was a witness beforehand....but look, you gave him a chance because you didn't know, and he was just a normal guy like anyone else. That's what bugs me. People can't see me as just a normal girl that would take good care of their children. They've labeled me and assumed that I'm some crazy bible thumping weirdo that's going to poison the minds of their children.....but thats not the case at all!

Your observations are irrelevant. Since DH is and was a non active member when I meet him, he is obviously not the same person he would of been had he remained part of the religion his mother raised him in.

He is a "normal" guy cause he no longer buys into his mother's beliefs.

Originally Posted by Roar

Also, I'd suggest that care is different from just another job. To most religion is a pretty fundamental part their approach to parenting and life. I don't think it is honest to treat it as it is like the difference between driving a Toyota or a Ford. From my perspective it is reasonable that a parent would seek to leave their children not just with a generally responsible person, but a person they are confident would come as close to possible as reflecting essential belief systems they have.

:

I would no more leave my children with someone who would allow them to CIO or who would spank them than I would leave them with someone who has fundamentally different spiritual beliefs than I do. (yea.. I don't feel like fixing that run on. )

[incorrigible]

.

[aniT]

When hiring someone to work in your business it is discrimination to not hire someone because of their religion. When hiring someone to take care of your children, someone who is going to be shaping who they are and who they become, I don't believe it is a discrimination to hire someone whose belief system matches your own.

BTW.. they have a word for us. It is "worldly." Maybe it doesn't sound as mean and nasty as other names, but it is still a name used to refer to anyone who is not a JW.

[RainCoastMama]

* Again...So. Not. Participating. In. This.

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by jessieann

I'm sorry for bumping such an old thread, but I came across it using the search function and I just had to post.

I spent 5 years working as a nanny before taking a year off to work at an office job. Recently I decided that I missed being a nanny, and I wanted to find a new family to go work for. I have experience, excellent references, I drive, don't smoke, yadda yadda yadda (here's a post I made on craigslist looking for a job, so you can get a better idea of what I'm all about: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/398114962.html) so you think it would be easy, right? No.

I began studying with the JW's approx 6 months ago, and I've made the decision to go forward with converting to the religion, which means I have certain obligations (meetings that all witnesses attend on a weekly basis) and I cannot work past a certain time (6:30pm) on Monday and Wednesday evenings. I've had a couple phone interviews with people, and whenever the topic of hours and scheduling comes up, I mention that I have a religious comittment on those days and cannot work past 6:30pm. I've been questioned as to which religion, and I always reply honestly, that I'm studying to become a Witness. People immediately change their whole attitude once I mention this, and one woman even called me back this morning to tell me that she spoke with her husband and that he didnt feel comfortable with a Witness caring for their children, and that she would have to cancel my in person interview. Some people don't even get past "relgious comittment." They don't even ask what religion, and I've heard things like "oh, we're not religious people, I don't think this would work." Are you kidding me? I can't work for you because I believe in God?

I don't understand what the big deal is. I have wonderful references and it's not like I'm going to try to convert their children---I fully understand that work is work, play is play, and religion is religion....and you shouldn't ever mix them up with each other! I've even explained this to the potential employers over the phone, and they don't seem to care.

I don't want to have to lie--obviously that's not very Christian like, and if they ever found out the truth, I doubt they'd have any trust left in me. I'm just so frustrated that I can't find a job, all because of how I view God. I'm more than qualified for any of the positions I was trying to get, and it really hurts to be judged this way because of my religion.

Well, anyway, I guess thats the end of my rant. I'd appreciate any feedback from anyone on this forum, and I'm certainly going to go back and carefully read all the responses above mine.

JessieAnn, I am not a Witness, but if I were looking for a nanny, and I lived in your area, I am sure that you would be exactly the kind of nanny I would want. It is horrible that you are being discriminated against because of your faith. There are families out there who are open-minded and would not hold your faith against you; I hope you can find one.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by jessieann

I've had a couple phone interviews with people, and whenever the topic of hours and scheduling comes up, I mention that I have a religious comittment on those days and cannot work past 6:30pm. I've been questioned as to which religion, and I always reply honestly, that I'm studying to become a Witness. People immediately change their whole attitude once I mention this, and one woman even called me back this morning to tell me that she spoke with her husband and that he didnt feel comfortable with a Witness caring for their children, and that she would have to cancel my in person interview. Some people don't even get past "relgious comittment." They don't even ask what religion, and I've heard things like "oh, we're not religious people, I don't think this would work." Are you kidding me? I can't work for you because I believe in God?

This has nothing to do with you being a JW, but I have to ask -

1. Why not just say you have prior committments on those days? Skip the religious part.

2. Why are you letting potential employers ask you an illegal question? And why are you answering? It has nothing to do with being proud of your faith but enabling prejudice and going around the law. If being a JW really would not affect your work, why not just say "I don't feel comfortable answering a question like that. It's illegal for you to ask".

[ggs]

I agree with others that childcare is an area where parents/employers absolutely should use discretion when hiring. To me, that means finding a DCP who shares both my beliefs regarding child rearing, and my core values, including my religious values. After all, these are my children, and I need to be assured that, when they are away from me, they are being cared for in a manner consistent with what DH and I believe. Generally speaking, I wouldn't, then, feel comfortable with a JW watching my children.

However, given the situation described by jessieann--good references, experienced and qualified--I might be willing to overlook our religious incompatability if I felt assured that the DCP would keep her religious beliefs to herself. That, for me, could only be done on a case-by-case basis, and would really depend upon whether or not I felt the DCP was being sincere about not proselytizing to my family.

[BelovedK]

Several posts in this thread have been removed for casting suspicion on a new poster. Remember, if there is an issue with another poster, or what they post is suspect, please report it to a moderator.

Thanks

[Valkyrie9]

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness by a believing mother, and my non-believing father just stepped back and let it happen for the sake of keeping our family together. (My mother would have left him in a minute if not for the JW mandate against divorce without adultery having been committed.) When I was seven years old, my mother and little brother and I were in the car heading to the meeting and my mother said, "Jehovah God is going to kill your father at Armageddon because your father doesn't believe in Jehovah's teachings." I cannot tell you the trauma it caused me--a seven year old having her mother telling her that God was going to kill her father. But that's a fundamental fact of that religion. It is also a fundamental fact behind why I will not let my mother anywhere near my daughter. I will not allow her to proseletyze to her under any circumstances.

Any individual JW could say that they'd never bring that to work with them. And they might very well believe that. But that whole organization can bring a tremendous amount of pressure onto individuals when they want to. My mother is mentally and emotionally incapable of not talking about her religion, regardless of whether it is appropriate or not. Say you're a good, God-fearing person and you hear an extremely convincing presentation from the pulpit saying that people you love absolutely have to change their lifestyle or they will die. Wouldn't you want to tell them about it? And isn't it possible that a caregiver would come to love the children so much that he or she simply couldn't go on NOT telling them "the Truth of Jehovah's love"?

[HollyBearsMom]

I remember this thread!

I now know someone who is a JW.

My understanding of JW is that a very large part of their belief system is proselytizing. This is the main reason why I would not hire a JW to be a caregiver for my son. If your belief system is one that supports, encourages and demands that you "spread the word” well bottom line is that I do not want that word spread to my child. I also do not want to ask you to deny your beliefs.

Honestly, the JW I work closely with (she used to be a nanny years ago) said that she would not take a child caring position w/ a non JW family unless that family was open to attending lessons. The reason being is that she would feel “compelled” to try to have the family learn from her either by openly discussing her beliefs, leaving pamphlets, associating with (i.e. playdates) with other JW families. As a JW this is her calling. If a family hired her and was very clear they had no interest she would not accept the position. She also said that many of her faith with take this as a “challenge” (her word) and still take the job to try and “save” this family.

Just one JW's point of view but it reinfoced the fact that I would not hire a JW.

[Tishie]

Is it part of her religion to convert us? Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved?

I, too, am a former JW, and the answers are yes and definitely yes. Although, as you can see from the JWs in this thread, it will be done in a palatable way, so as to "give a good witness."

Anyone who is a good witness does not willingly associate with worldly people unless for work or family. Even in those situations, they will continue to witness, usually in indirect ways, but they will. If they don't, they aren't any good at their religion and, according to good JWs, will probably be destroyed at Armageddon. Also, good JWs wouldn't even be in this thread. So, assuming you are hiring a good JW, the statements by JWs in this thread of what they would do don't apply.

The religion is not one of grace, but completely based upon works - the primary task being conversion.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by Tishie

I, too, am a former JW, and the answers are yes and definitely yes. Although, as you can see from the JWs in this thread, it will be done in a palatable way, so as to "give a good witness."

Anyone who is a good witness does not willingly associate with worldly people unless for work or family. Even in those situations, they will continue to witness, usually in indirect ways, but they will. If they don't, they aren't any good at their religion and, according to good JWs, will probably be destroyed at Armageddon. Also, good JWs wouldn't even be in this thread. So, assuming you are hiring a good JW, the statements by JWs in this thread of what they would do don't apply.

The religion is not one of grace, but completely based upon works - the primary task being conversion.

Well I got DH's mom to stop after about oh... 7 or 8 years. I guess her desire to see her grandkids outweighed her desire to convert me.