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~~~~May 2004 Mamas ~~~~ Feelin' Thankful it's November ~~~~ - Page 12

post #221 of 380
Wow, Lisa, you've got so much going on. I don't have any magic answers, either, but I just wanted to give you a You are really thinking through it all and that is good. But, as you must know by now, things do have a way of working themselves out. I do the same thing....look at the big picture so much and make myself feel totally overwhelmed. I have to remind myself that we have to be where we are right now. I'm always working on it....

Good thoughts on the diff b/w Montessori & Waldorf. Food for thought...

Gotta go to the grocery store. Just wanted to give Lisa some calming vibes....Here's my mantra "all shall be well, and all shall be well."
post #222 of 380
Don't the pending solar panels count for anything???? The kids aren't vegan. (and for the record, I *do* have fish ~1x/mo these days, so obviously I'm not a true vegan, but I don't eat meat, nor dairy nor eggs, and I've been veg for the last 20 yrs) T is ovo-lacto + occasional fish (funny story: in K, they're learning about Thanksgiving, so they're having a mini-meal today with what the pilgrims had their 1st winter--hardtack, jerky, etc., and I took some fruit leather for T and the other veg kids to have instead of jerky), Z is still eating poultry and fish (because he's still sensitive to dairy and eggs). To be honest... I don't think kids should be vegan... I think ovo-lacto is fine, but vegan kids tend to be shorter than their peers, and to me, that means they must be missing something. I think "vegan" is more of an adult diet (just my opinion, of course). But they eat pretty super-crunch most of the time, at least compared to most of their peers. Though dh definitely likes "meat analogs" (eg tofu bratwurst, unturkey, etc.). By super-crunch, I mean no refined sugar, really try to stay whole grain/whole food/unprocessed, plenty of fruits and veggies, etc. I used to be super hard core about this, but after Z's problems, I've lightened up somewhat (ie, I realize that the occasional cookie won't kill them).

Re school... this may just be Boulder... and take what I say with a grain of salt... The waldorf school here is really expensive. So are most of the Montessoris. And here's where I'm kind of :... the people that I've met who have their kids in these schools--for the most part, I haven't liked them, or their kids. : : : Boulder is already kind of an upper-middle class (and up), white kind of place to live, and it seems like exclusive preschools here are well, even more exclusive, with the baggage that goes along with that (of course, I may be TOTALLY wrong, I will admit, because NO, I haven't visited the schools, just perused online and met associated families). I liked the idea of co-op preschool way more than a system which seemed too rigid for T (Montessori) at the time. It was also really important to me to have him in a public school (for K on up), again, for a more real experience with real people. His school is really excellent, has won awards, and has more diversity than average in Boulder, in part because it has an ESL program and a very comprehensive special ed program. [I realize that by sending my kid to a public school and not homeschooling him or sending him to M or W that I'm kind of against the grain of MDC, but ] Anyway...
post #223 of 380
x-posted with Lisa, and out of time, but just want to give you a and I may say more later. Decisions about stuff like this are never easy.
post #224 of 380
Just wanted to offer Lisa some more s s s!
More in a bit; I am at my friends house and there is a rare tandem nap going on right now (the one year old went down with little fuss at 11:30, Rowan went down with a little MORE fuss at 12:30....Oh my goodness, there are no little ones clinging to me at this very moment! :
(I DO abuse the smilies, don't I?? Sorry bout that... Haha!)
I think my friend's DS is getting more used to me; he only cried for about 2 minutes when she first handed him to me to leave for work! Woot! Now, to figure out a way to entertain them BOTH without the use of Baby Einstein. *grin*

Okay, I am outta here at 3ish, so have a good day, mama-jamas. Much love to you all.
post #225 of 380
I really hope you can come to a workable solution on childcare once the new baby arrives. And try to enjoy the last few weeks of Alison's pregnancy and take the time to enjoy your family of three. Yes, adding a new baby is stressful, if not overwhelming. But you will get through it. If I can do it, anyone can. You and Alison seem like such a team, always so in tune to each other, I know you two will do just fine. I admire your determination to come to a solution everyone is comfortable with. I hope your magic answer does materialize, and the sooner, the better!
post #226 of 380
Originally Posted by elsanne View Post
Now, Waldorf/Montessori. I have much to say on the matter, only because after much reading here on MDC I have made a decision I never ever expected to make! And for Sol, the winner is: Montessori. Surprise! (to me, anyway)

Mama just had another baby. Mama and Sol are developing unhealthy patterns of behavior because Mama cannot deal. Mama thinks Sol would better spend those few hours with stimulating activities instead of crying and whining at Mama's feet.

A quick decision, and the closest school: Montessori. Best for a variety of utilitarian reasons. Upon closer analysis, however, when comparing Sol's life at home and what Montessori is teaching her, it is found to be the best fit pedagogically as well. Even I am starting to put things back in their places as a result.

The next years? I am not sure. I know this school starts with "homework" at around age 4, which I am NOT crazy about, and I just might switch to the Waldorf school around then.
Elsanne, nice synopsis. I don't know as much about Waldorf - there are none around here anyway. I so so so hear you on the patterns of behavior and needing to swich thing up a bit. I'd be sending my kids to school even if I wasn't working. I probably wouldn't send them all day, but I'd send them. I'm surprised that your school would have homework so soon, though! Our Head of School gave a big talk about homework. The school goes all the way through 8th grade, and I know they don't get homework until at least middle school, if even then. Parents complain about it. So anyway he gave this great talk about how hard the kids work all day, why should they have to do it all again when they get home, and how we shouldn't expect them to work a second shift at the tender age of 6. I was pretty impressed.

It took me a long time to understand the value of the "work" and the "lessons". As you said, it ain't play. The kids enjoy it that much, though! At any rate, my love of Montessori (for preschool certainly) has really come from watching my DD go through the program. She started there when she was just turning 3, and she'll be 5 in January. We had her parent teacher conference this morning, and I'm so pleased.

Originally Posted by nuggetsmom View Post
I think it is so important to visit the schools too because when I looked inot preschools for N I really wanted a Montesorri or Waldorf. Waldorf was expensive and far to that fell out of hte running. Ultimately the Montesorri was not right for N. I don't know why, but it just wasn't at that time. Now it might be different but we are on the path we are on and I am happy enough.
The most most most important thing is that it's the right place for your child. Childcare and school decisions are ROUGH!! s to all of us for having to even contemplate it.

Originally Posted by A&L+1 View Post
I am REALLY concerned about leaving her current place because she does love it there and she is so comfortable.

Here’s the rub, she’s going to go through a lot of changes over the next several months and now that I think about it, it pretty inevitable that she’s going to need to leave/take a long break from fulltime care no matter where she’s at. Her current place does part-time, but I think we should also consider other designed-to-be part-time or parent participation places for her until next fall because I think the transition from fulltime to nothing plus a sibling may be too much for all involved.

In the fall, we’ll have to make decisions about fulltime care for both the new baby and Eleanor. We'll look at our options then (yes to Montessori, no to Waldorf is my gut). On top of that though, I am really not okay with a baby under one year being in fulltime care, but I don’t see how we can afford to have one of us be at home…we are both trying not to think about it and hoping that a solution will materialize between now and then. Worst case is that I work an early morning shift and work the weekends so that we minimize the time that we would need care. I really don’t want to never have down time with my family – I need that so much - so it’s not going to be easy to figure this all out.

So, yeah, this is a phenomenally bad time to move Eleanor to another fulltime place. I don’t know what I was thinking : - but I do know that if I thought I was overwhelmed by the idea of researching other places, I am completely, insanely, in-over-my-head, afraid of the reality of the next 12 months for my family. Now I am so thoroughly overwhelmed I may have to resort to drinking.
That's a lot to think about, but kudos for giving everything such careful consideration. I think a lot of times people makes decisions quickly based on what's best for them personally, not necessarily the child or the family. sounds like there's a lot on the family plate right now. When is the baby due?

It does sound like a lot of transitions. I wouldn't want to switch if there is already another switch planned for the near-ish future. My experience when my second was born was that keeping DD1 at her daycare was VITAL. We went to part time, but she needed that structure, and I needed that space. When the little guy was born in August, we didn't do it that way (couldn't afford it) and I was suddenly HOME, all day every day, with three kids under 5. It was really really hard on everyone. Too much TV was watched by all, and our attitudes towards life and our family members went downhill fast. Fortunately it was only 6 weeks before the girlies went back to school.

I've lost track of my point, and I'm not even though I am : . I think what I was trying to say was that with everything coming up, it might be best to keep her where she is for now, and then look at transitioning after the baby or after the babymoon. More s transitions are so rough. Kids are mighty tough, though!
post #227 of 380
Originally Posted by Miss Juice View Post
When is the baby due?
Late January. I think we're the next MM family to have another wee one.

Thanks all, for the hugs and thoughtful posts. I really just thought all this through as I wrote it so it's great to have this outlet here with my virtual peeps (I might of pushed these issues away from my mind until the $hit hit the fan in January and that would be much much worse). Thanks for the love. And right back at 'cha.

KK - a lot of what you said rings true for me too. I love the diversity and "public school" attitude of Eleanor's current place. That may be a big issue for me when we look at other places. Thanks for putting it into words.

Oh, on crafts - I quilt rarely and I am generally artistic but with no regular outlet. On naps- Eleanor is going to the dr. today because she has been having screaming fits about "not laying down, no" It's bad and the last time that this was the complaint we didn't do anything until we happened to take her to a well baby visit and discovered big infections in both ears. We are generally anti-antibiotics, but we want to rule out the possibility that that is what is going on again.

Feel better, Juice and happy weekend to all!
post #228 of 380
Lisa, have you thought about asking about the computer station/asking that it be removed? I wouldn't like it, either, and *I* certainly feel empowered to question/complain about everything I don't like.

It really does sound like you have a lot of transitions coming up, that you're putting a lot of thought into how to do the best thing for *everyone*, and that there are no easy answers. I just think that it's good that you're being sensitive about everyone's needs. That said... toddlers are pretty resiliant, so don't torture yourself, once you make the decision.

I realize that I may have been a little glib/incomplete in my previous post about school. Part of what I need to say that we each have to do what's right for our own, very individual children... ultimately, a lot of our final decision about preschool had to do with comfort with the teachers at the preschool T went to, and that can go beyond the "philosophy" of the place, y'know? And I'm not sure what kind of decision we would have made if we had remained in Berkeley. A small part of the reason we moved was because we knew we'd have access to more uniformly high quality schools.

Renae, I wasn't necessarily singling you out (I feel like *I* abuse the smilies, too).

I'm finally getting my hair cut this afternoon (was supposed to be last wk but had to reschedule), so hopefully, I'll be leaving the "most likely to have frumpy hair" behind.

And last but not least, one last word on craftiness... if we won the lottery (which I assume you need to actually buy a lottery ticket to do), this is what I would do:
post #229 of 380
Many thanks for comments over yonder on C's two-ness or rather 2.5 year old-ness. : I'm mulling over options for schooling and the library has a preschool fair in Feb-ish that should make that task easier. For now, we're considering hs'ing or the local charter school. KK --I think you're totally right abou it being a matter of rightness of fit rather than this philosophy of schooling is superior kinda thing.

okay...somebody pooped...must run....
post #230 of 380
Originally Posted by KKmama View Post
I realize that I may have been a little glib/incomplete in my previous post about school. Part of what I need to say that we each have to do what's right for our own, very individual children... ultimately, a lot of our final decision about preschool had to do with comfort with the teachers at the preschool T went to, and that can go beyond the "philosophy" of the place, y'know? And I'm not sure what kind of decision we would have made if we had remained in Berkeley. A small part of the reason we moved was because we knew we'd have access to more uniformly high quality schools.
I don't think it was glib at all, and I completely agree. The most most most important thing is a good match for your child and your family. I definitely appreciate the social factors involved... I feel so lucky to have found a great match for my kids. Thank goodness they have financial aid, because being a private school we couldn't afford it. We're planning to move to the public schools in first grade.
post #231 of 380
As soon as I opened this window, I have to go again since DH is having a hard time with bedtime. I guess chasing the kids for 15 minutes before story time... not such a good idea!

Julia totally colors and tries to stay in teh lines and it is so cute. And I am so proud of her. And she sings little songs too and told me today -no that is orange and she was right!:

I bet Renae knows all the smilie codes too. Most likely to know the smilie codes.

Maybe I am most likely to eat steak.
Or drink beer.

I have more to say but will try to say it next time.
post #232 of 380
Most Likely to Get Pregnant?


Most Likely to Sleep with a Person Not Children's Father?
Lemme guess here...

Most Likely to Travel Internationally? (I don't count for this one) Hmmm I think maybe Jstar. Although none of you get out much with toddlers.
post #233 of 380
Hoot Hoot! "Most Likely to Sleep with a Person Not Children's Father"==

post #234 of 380
Originally Posted by elsanne View Post
Hoot Hoot! "Most Likely to Sleep with a Person Not Children's Father"==

: that's a good one, els... :

nuggets: are you an A-1 steak sauce kinda steak eater? or just a steak with its own juices kinda steak eater? and i guess you can be the beer drinker, since sarah-b is the mojito drinker. i'll be the gin and tonic drinker. or the wine snob. :

jacquie: praline topping for sweet potatoes/yams? : must have recipe so bill can make it for me. : i am most likely to injure herself with large knife while chopping vegetables, hence the liberal use of the food processor around here.

i suppose i should try to get some sleep soon. wish i was in the mood for some snuggling, but the lack of connection with bill really makes me not in the mood. he *thinks* the insaneness of his project *may* be over for quite a while as of 830pm earlier tonight, which is when he finally got to leave his office and come home. :

happy weekend, mamajamas... MMF!

post #235 of 380
Tee hee! Elsanne, you crack me up almost daily.

While we're on this subject (thinking outside the dominant paradigm of gender/sex/family make-up), I have to be a good transgendered ally and point out that one does fit PEOPLE for diaphragms. For instance, what about a gay FTM?

I'll spell it out: A person's plumbing is female, but the person identifies as male in gender. This person falls in love, it so happens, with a man. They get married (haha political right wing- how ya gonna stop THAT?) They want children, and don't mind putting off any sort of actual biological changes (hormones, surgery) so that they can have biological children. So....one day mcsb COULD fit a man (gender-wise if not sex-wise) for a diaphragm!

This situation is not unlike one involving a close friend of mine.

Oh- and while I'm posting, I just have to say Elsanne that I'm "most likely to be in the prayers of the vegan nuns." I'm sure they care about me deeply, but they couldn't accept me into the fold, as I would have trouble keeping my vows, what with driving a car and eating meat and daily feeding my child artificial formula and junk food.

We do what we can.
post #236 of 380
Hey Claudia, we cross-posted!

I've gotten your phone messages. I just never seem to be home and awake and coherent during times that would be good to call. I'll keep tryin. MUST go to sleep now, though.

post #237 of 380
Oh. My. God. I think I may officially lose my mind this time. : Talked to DH at 7:00 AM (he took the redeye to Miami last night) and it turns out his flakey jakey family gave him inaccurate information, and he will now be staying 2 DAYS LONGER THAN EXPECTED!!! He thought, per his family, there was a private funeral service on Sunday and a public one on Tuesday. He opted to attend the Sunday service, as he has always somewhat resented having to share his grandmother with the public (I guess that's the tradeoff for doing so much for the public... your family suffers to a certain degree) and the private service seemed more up his ally. Also, his brother is getting married today (I'm so sad for he and his bride... Grammy's death will cast such a shadow over their day and will forever be associated with their anniversary ), and going to the Sunday service allowed him go early enough to attend the wedding, too. But now it turns out that the Sunday service is not, in fact, a funeral at all and his family is begging him to stay for the actual funeral (Tuesday), so now he won't be home until Wednesday afternoon, instead of the original Monday night. :

Honestly, if I had known he was going to stay until Wed, I would have nixed him going early enough to attend the wedding, too. He could have made it a much shorter trip, centered around the actual funeral (Tuesday). I am but I'm not showing any of it to DH. It's not his fault - it is what it is - and the last thing he needs right now is me bitching at him about his lame, poorly communicating family (they are notorious for this sort of thing).

Oh, and did I mention it cost $213.320 to change his reservation? That's on top of the $508 we already paid for the original ticket. Yeeeaaaahhhhhhh........ :

I have more I'd like to say, but the kids are bouncing off the walls to the Laurie Berkner DVD and I need to reign them in. Plus, Jett is super done with the exersaucer.
post #238 of 380
And THAT, my fernyfriend, is the whole reason I post at all! To make you smile! Well, besides gittin me some support n shit.

Aw, meg. I sure wish I could alleviate your load somewhat. Do you have a sitter at all?

Today has been : so far for me...Sol, napless in San Miguel, went to bed early last night (yay) and woke up REALLY EARLY today (boo): 5 am! This, after mama went down at about midnight. Grrrr not enough sleep makes me unable to deal. I know, it could be worse: I could be alone with 3 kids until Tuesday. Must not complain too loudly.

Fern: I still don't see how mcsb could fit a person for a diaphragm that has no uterus. I know you spelled it out but I be dyslexic or sumpin'.
post #239 of 380
Originally Posted by fiddlefern View Post
They get married (haha political right wing- how ya gonna stop THAT?)

Els, this person does have a uterus (and a cervix and a vagina, which are the parts actually fitted for a diaphragm). : Fiddle said it's a biological WOMAN who considers himself a MAN, waiting for the operation until s/he can have children with his male partner. Clear as mud, huh. Yay, Fiddle! Working in Portland, I'm may just come across a case like that! Although diaphragms are going out of style, so it may actually be an Rx for BCPs or somesuch.

Megan, I feel for you sooo much. I was pretty bitter when DH went to Vegas for 5 days, even when I knew about it for a month. Arrrrgh. It didn't help when he got home and told me it was professionally useless, and all he did was get drunk with his friends.

ANYWAY. Now he and Lily are on their way to a children's play for a couple of hours while I do some home work and maybe hit a WW meeting. So exciting.

Toodles, poodles.

post #240 of 380
Have you guys read Peggy's essay this month? I just read it and it has soooooo turned my day around. I can't believe how positive I feel! I can and will handle these 5 days because I am a powerful woman! I urge you all to carve out a few minutes to read it. So inspiring!

Thanks for all the support, pals. No, still no babysitter. 2 days just isn't enough notice, especially not with the holidays coming up. It seems everyone is super busy with social stuff these days, so it makes sense that no one would be available. I also admittedly only have a couple of people I would use anyway, so that doesn't help. Oh well. My neighbor is having a birth day party this evening and after I put Mia to bed, I can set Sultan up with a movie and a pint of sorbet, toss Jett in the moby and head over there later this evening for some adult company. Looking forward to that! And tomorrow is a birthday brunch for another friend. Lots of friends will be there to help me wrangle my brood. I figure, the more we fill up our time, the happier everyone will be.

And double thanks for all the comic relief. You guys are cracking me up.
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