Need support - disagreement w/DH and he's going to vax when I'm not here - Page 2

[thefragile7393]

For me....my child's health is more important than anything. You state your child has already had a reaction that is supposedly normal....that's a red flag right there. Honsetly? I wouldn't go to the training. I understand this may not be a choice for you, however there is no way I'd go anywhere with my husband threatening such a thing. Playing with your child's health (especially possibly out of spite) can be dangerous.

Somehow, in whatever way possible, your child must be protected by you...as you are the one with the mothering instincts and the one working on doing research. He is not.

[Plummeting]

Originally Posted by Ophelia

ok now i'm scared....i always sleep with kier, nurse him and husband wantd to visitwith him so i puthim on the bed with husband, went and did some things and went back to get him so we could go to bed and mike says i'll keep him here, don't bother yourself. i said he's used to sleepign with me andhe needs to eat, mike says that's ok, i'll give him a bottle, and i made an appt so you dno't have to bother....

he's just acting really weird and mean. i fell like i need to leave but if i go to mom's, daycare is by my house.

he is on oxycontin right now for pain but honestly i think he may have acted like this even without it.

OxyContin actually can make people act really weird. That whole "I'll give hima bottle" thing is strange.

[Ophelia]

thank you, and thank you for the info about calling the office and saying i d ont' allow shots when nt there. I did not know you could do that! I will try that. It's not that I won't get them at all, but it's important to me to have them done when I am there.
iv'e also thought about asking work if I skip it, then I will pay for the trip at another time (like i have any money) but i'd rather get this straighted out first.

good to know about the oxy, i know it's highly addictive but other than that don't know side effects. it's barely making a dent in his pain, though.

[wednesday]

Originally Posted by Ophelia

he also seemed more worried about the $$ part of it than Kier's comfort. The main reason i want to try only 1 shot this time is to see if it makes a difference in Kier's reaction. husband goes on about that last night saying if we take him in 4 seperate times then we have to pay the $20 copay each time instead of getting it all done at once. I think he thinks that one shot at a time vs. 4 at once really isn't going to make a difference.

FWIW, this may be a non-issue. We were planning to do one shot at a time when our son was small; we ended up actually not doing them after all, but what our doctor told us was that if we wanted to do one shot each month, for example, we didn't have to make extra appointments with her, or even be seen by her. We only had to make an appointment with the receptionist for a nurse to give the shot, and we would not have an office visit co-pay.

Also, depending on your state, the health department may give children's vaccines free of charge (or very cheap), no questions asked. States really vary on this, so you would just have to call your health department and ask what services they offer for kids' vaccines.

[root*children]

You wouldn't like my advice either, so I'll keep it to myself. Just know, as a newly single mom, I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from

[yoyo65]

How's it going sis? Is he talkin' to ya yet? Or is he still being a poo-butt?

[alegna]

Um, he's going to be off the meds before he's taking care of the baby alone, right?

-Angela

[sophiekat]

Originally Posted by alegna

Um, he's going to be off the meds before he's taking care of the baby alone, right?

-Angela

:
honestly, i don't think your husband is in any state to take care of your ds alone, vax issue aside.

[Mamm2]

I hate reading these kinds of post, they make me really mad:

I think calling the office and telling them you do not consent to the shots should work. I would also cancel the trip (make up an excuse) so you don't go. You baby's health is at risk here, once its done, its done.

I would also look up the state/clinic info. If you can find free clinic that will give the shots, maybe that will help you dh. Especially since it sounds like all he cares about is the money:

Your doctors office may have the free clinic info also.

PS you may also want to look up a vax friendly ped in your state. Look up the Finding Your Tribe forum and get a ped on your side, in case you need to convince the husband.

[Ophelia]

thanks! Yeah he is talking now, we ended up talking in the middle of the night. I got up after feeding Kier to check email and he got up to eat because he had not slept from the pain. he still disagrees with me but at least he sort of listened. He still does not undersatnd why i'd rather do one at first to see if it makes a difference instead of getting all 4 at once. he thinks the reaction is going to be the same 1 vs. 4.

No, he can't be alone with Kier right now anyways, because of his muscle pain issues not supposed to pick anything up. My Mom has been helping in picking up Kier from daycare and will stay while I'm gone.

[Ruthla]

OK, it sounds like he's on heavy-duty pain meds plus can't lift anything. How exactly does he expect to drive the baby to the dr's office?

He also shouldn't be co-sleeping while taking narcotics- if he DOES fall asleep/pass out, he could become unresponsive.

Could you have your mother watch the baby at her house instead of at your house, if your DH seems to be so untrustworthy right now? Or does she need to be in the house to "babysit" DH?