Weird Dreams

[Greaseball]

My 20-year-old brother drowned last summer, and I've been having a lot of dreams about him. Usually in the dreams I'll find out that he's still alive, or he'll be telling me that he'll die soon, but lately they've gotten really weird. A few nights ago I dreamed I saw his body floating in the lake (his body was never recovered from the lake). All I could see of him was his hand, but I knew it was him and I turned around and threw up. And then last night I dreamed the police found his body and said that the cause of death had been a knife through the eyes. It was really disturbing and I don't want to go to sleep now.

[Ms. Mom]

I think that's so normal. As hard as it is, we work through some very deep emotions through sleep.

Many of the things your dreaming may have no meaning at all, others, are your mind working though the greif and questions.

The fact that they never found him must make it so hard to put finality on it. How hard it must be to accept and sort through.

Do keep a journal? Many people find it helpfulll to write down their feelings while they work through grief. You can read through it later and sort your thoughts.

I feel very deeply for you and hold you in my thoughts as you travel through this greif.

[lisamarie]

Greaseball~

It can be so hard to deal with grief during the waking hours, let alone, at night. I thought you had mentioned that his birthday is coming up. Sometimes, with birthdays, anniverseries, etc., we grieve more. I know that I too, have more dreams of my dh who past, during those times.

To help, I try to pray or meditate before I go to bed. It has seemed to help.

Sending you hugs & healing~

Lisa

[gabner]

Are these dreams making you tired or depressed? A short time of taking antidepressants may allow you to break the cycle and get some sleep. Elavil is very cheap and could do the trick.

Some people are against "mood altering" drugs. However what may be happening is that there is a chemical imbalance in your brain and short term drug therapy or long term drug therapy, counseling. or a support group might help.

[Becca]

Greaseball, my brother died suddenly and unexpectedly four years ago. I remember having very similar dreams. Trying to work through grief and be a parent at the same time is so very hard, much of the time we have to swallow our own emotions in order to cope with the every day needs of our children. I think that dreams are a way of dealing with grief and all the emotions surrounding a loved one's death. In a way, it allows every part of ourselves to accept the finality of what has happened.
Be gentle on yourself at this time, and try to allow yourself to work through this,
Blessings, Becca

[Ms. Mom]

Becca, I'm so sorry about you brother. But, I thank you for sharing you practicle experience. I think it helps to know what we're going through is normal and that it's all a part of the healing process.

[Becca]

Thanks, Ms Mom , you are such a sweet lady.

[JessicaS]

WHile not normally against mind altering drugs I am against them for the use you described....grief is a normal process that humans go through in the event of a loss....I really think that removing oneself from the grieving process through those drugs will only delay the process.


Lactation:
Amitriptyline is detectable in breast milk. Because of the potential for serious adverse reactions in infants from amitriptyline, a decision should be made whether to discontinue nursing or discontinue the drug.

Without more information on the effects on the nursing child I would have been hesitant to recommend this drug.

Withdrawal Symptoms:
Abrupt cessation of treatment after prolonged administration may produce nausea, headache, and malaise. Gradual dosage reduction has been reported to produce, within 2 weeks, transient symptoms including irritability, restlessness, and dream and sleep disturbance. These symptoms are not indicative of addiction. Rare instances have been reported of mania or hypomania occurring within 2 to 7 days following cessation of chronic therapy with tricyclic antidepressants

The majority of Drs will recommend Zoloft for depression if a woman is nursing. There are fewer sexual side effects like in Paxil and the withdrawel symptoms are less severe.

Part of the reason so many are against mind altering drugs is the unforseen risks involved. While they may help someone cope for a little while they are stiill going to have to deal wiht the loss eventually. Drugs would only be a temporary solution IMO.

**greaseball**
I am so sorry for you loss.....I am so close to my sisters just thinking about having to cope wiht the loss of one of them sends chills down my spine....

There has been some very interesting discussions regarding dreams in the spirituality forum...there was a thread on premonitions as well...if you can't find it I will be happy to start another...

[Greaseball]

Good dreams too!

I've started to have a few more of the pleasant dreams now...where I'm talking to him and when I wake up I try to get back to sleep right away so I can finish the dream. It doesn't work, of course.

I too am against drugs for this purpose, and I would never take something like Elavil...it has a lot of nasty side effects. I've had good reactions with Prozac but I just don't feel like taking drugs now...except when I really can't sleep I might take a Tylenol PM or something. You're not supposed to take Prozac if you're nursing, anyway...

What I hate is when I'll suddenly feel like I've just heard the news of his death for the first time, when really I think about it constantly every day.

[JessicaS]

IKWYM......

sometimes it is almost like you suddenly remember they are gone and your heart lurches....

[Ms. Mom]

Greaseball, thank you so much for sharing your grief with us. From what you've described, I think your response is quite normal. Greif is the most difficult journey to travel and it's different for all people.

Your in my thoughts. Please keep us posted and feel free to 'talk' about him when ever you need to.

[Greaseball]

Abimommy - Yeah, that's exactly what it's like. Like realizing that it hasn't just been some sick dream after all.

What else is the worst part is knowing that no matter how much better life can get, there will always be the part that's missing, and I'll always be reminded that it would be so much better if he were here.