TTC 6+ Months November Support Thread - Page 5

[lilyflower]

Good morning! I love your attitude Ocean, I am sorry AF came. You have a really clear warning on your chart to prepare you for that. It is so strange how our bodies work.

ItyBty,

Mommy in chaos your chart looks interesting......: :

Fola I am glad your husband is okay and good luck, your chart also looks interesting.

Tenk, I wonder about the soy too. We are vegetarians, is it weird to be feeding my boys so much soy milk?? I need to investigate that more. I am still thinking about Clomid, fretting over if I am being too impatient. But then I have to consider the fact that I have not become pregnant for seven years, so that is probably telling me something right? I am sure I will probably give in to it when the time comes. How are your emotions holding up?

[ELKMama]

Morning, everyone. I had to giggle about the OPK joy -- you're right that it is a thrill just to see SOMETHING get 2 lines.

And ItyBty, glad the Preseed worked out. This is our 2nd month of using Preseed Ex (basically like KY but doesn't kill off sperm) and it is... um, all I can think of is "handy"!!

Mommy_in_chaos, hope the chocolate therapy worked and you're feeling 100% (or at least 60%) better today. Lily's comment about moosetracks ice cream sent me off on an ice cream fantasy and then - lo and behold - Klondike bars were on sale at the store today. So, of course, I HAD to get some so I'm prepared for those feeling-down days.

[Tenk]

All questioning the SOY, I have read it on several web sites, and I actually purchased it at my local grocery the other day. Now I still have enough clomid for 2 more cycles, but i did just get regular SOY from the vitamin section. Just GOOGLE it and you should find it. That's how I did at least. Everyone enjoy your ice cream and your weekend!!!

[pampered_mom]

Originally Posted by mommy_in_chaos

Does anyone ever just feel like sitting down and crying till you can't cry anymore?

Yup! I've actually been feeling like that a lot towards the end of last month and the beginning of this month. I'm actually feeling like I'm about ready to give it all up. I'm not really sure that I can keep doing this anymore. I'm not sure that I can handle the continual disappointment and wonky cycles as of late. Giving up sounds like a really good idea to me today. I seem to vacilate hourly between keeping going and just calling it quits. The sad part is that my very first ovulatory cycle post-bcp looks like it was our best shot comparatively and that was back in February. I'm not even sure that I want to consider any testing b/c I figure all the docs will do is take one look at me when they enter the room and tell me all I have to do is lose weight and everything will work just fine.

I'm just about certain that I already o'd early this week when dh was out of town. It was several days earlier than I expected. I did an OPK the last few days. I went from having a faint test line to no test line at all (just a control line) yesterday - which would line up with my thoughts on o already happening. I guess I can look on the bright side - at least this cycle will be a short 30 some days when af arrives.

Ugh! : I don't think I can take too much more of this. I'm tired of hearing questions like - when's the next one? or reassurances from folks irl that think I can somehow control my fertility and conception. I feel like everything is crumbling down around me and to top it all off a dear friend of ours has her son in the hospital after he was run over by a car on Thursday. Is there really no end in sight?

oceanmommy for cd1 and to everyone else who's feeling a little emotional/stressed at the moment. I can't help but feel that life just plain stinks right now.

[oceanmommy]

Pampered Mom you certainly sound like you are in the tww. I hope your blues don't last too long, but I also hope you get the chance to feel whatever your feelings are. We're here for you !

I know you don't want to go to a dr but I hope you still consider it. Strange cycles cannot be blamed on weight alone, and you might feel better about it all if you are proactive and in control as much as you can be (and they might actually have some insight or meds that could help). A dr is not supposed to tell you to lose weight before they will help you. Have you seen this ? http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/ It is a very interesting and empowering site for women of all sizes. I think if you go to a dr who only says to lose weight and gives no other help, it is time to find a new dr.




Ok everyone, I don't have any ice cream but I do have Trader Joes mini peanut butter cups.

[mommy_in_chaos]

pamered_mom~
I'm wishing you the very best right now. I completely understand how everything seems against you. I agree with oceanmommy, you are in need of a new doctor if they wont treat you before you lose weight. There are many things that may contribute to your not being able to conceive besides weight. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I know I've been praying a lot for the last few hours because I'm worried that I may be getting depressed. I really don't want that to happen. Maybe it would help you. We are here for you. Always.

oceanmommy~
You are awesome. Your attitude toward your life, your attitude toward everyone on this board, and your thoughtfulness of others. I just wanted to let you know that. Thanks for your kind words all the time, it's uplifting.

[mommy_in_chaos]

PS~
Elkmama~
The chocolate therapy only made me feel guilty about cheating on my diet. So I decided to take alternate measures today and try prayer instead. (of course, I've had a kit kat bar today, and it wasn't as bad as last night's guilt feeling)

[funnygrace]

Happy weekend everyone! So many posts... so many ups and downs.

Oceanmommy—CD 1 again, oh, I'm sorry... but it sounds like you are holding up well. I always get super depressed at the end of a cycle and then feel somewhat renewed when my period actually comes. I TJ's mini peanut butter cups. They are really cute!

HopesMom--Thanks for coming back and sharing. It only makes me feel good good good to have other's who've been trying a while get a positive test. Totally a boost and not in anyway upsetting. I'm looking forward to early pregnancy and want to know about it before it happens. And I'm with Oceanmommy (I think it was OM)--I don't want to do too much DDC voyerism.

Punquin--I bruise easily too! I always have a line of bruises on my thighs were I brush against my footboard on the way to the bathroom at night. (Okay, that sounds a little weird...) Did you find anything out about the bruising? Let us know how the blood test turns out! And thanks for sticking around to you too!

mommy_in_chaos--I'm sorry you are on the verge of : Take care of yourself. The crying seems like a good thing--I think it comes more from the body than the mind and I think our bodies have a lot of grieving to do in this process.

pampered_mom-- to you too. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's son. I hope he is doing well.

Itybty—Glad you enjoyed the Preseed. Very slippery indeed.

lilyflower--I wonder about Clomid too... and if I am just being impatient. But then again, maybe it would be better to have a child in 10 months than in 19. Especially if the extra 9 months were just spent TTC. It isn't the best hobby. Although, oddly sometimes I think I might miss it... or rather just feel like something is missing.

folaboye--I'm so happy your DH is recovering and home. Love to you too!

I am well. I am not temping much this cycle. I think I'm on CD 7... yes 7. So this is the day I usually scan my body mentally for possible signs. Implantation... like a bug bite? I don't know. But I'm trying not to think about the tww as much this time.

[punquin]

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

I know that you are going to be a great mom, and that you will cherish every moment, even when your baby poops all over your watch

Haha! And, ironically, every time I hold my friend/officemate's baby, he poops out the sides of his diaper. He hasn't gotten my watch yet,, but he's definitely gotten my shirt...

Originally Posted by funnygrace

Punquin--I bruise easily too! I always have a line of bruises on my thighs were I brush against my footboard on the way to the bathroom at night. (Okay, that sounds a little weird...) Did you find anything out about the bruising? Let us know how the blood test turns out! And thanks for sticking around to you too!

I've always bruised easily, but it's been out of control this week. I haven't heard back yet - I'm assuming they'll call Monday since it is the weekend.

It is way past my bedtime.

Oh, and we got the house!

[pampered_mom]

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

I know you don't want to go to a dr but I hope you still consider it. Strange cycles cannot be blamed on weight alone, and you might feel better about it all if you are proactive and in control as much as you can be (and they might actually have some insight or meds that could help).

Dh is more patient than I am and is all for heading in to see someone. I know that our h/i will cover testing and some treatment to a certain degree. I have six cycles charted that I can show ovulation on - of course whether our timing was perfect or not is certainly up to interpretation. Should I wait longer or look into it sooner?

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

A dr is not supposed to tell you to lose weight before they will help you. Have you seen this ? http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/ It is a very interesting and empowering site for women of all sizes. I think if you go to a dr who only says to lose weight and gives no other help, it is time to find a new dr.

I have seen the site - and may I just say, "I LOVE KMOM!" She definitely rocks! I'll have to take a closer look at her fertility section again, it's been awhile.

I appreciate your encouragement and thoughts on the issue. It helps me feel a little bit less like an odd duck. Even though af found you oceanmommy, I'm still watching very carefully to see if the drain-o effect kicks in this cycle!

Originally Posted by mommy_in_chaos

pamered_mom~
I'm wishing you the very best right now. I completely understand how everything seems against you. I agree with oceanmommy, you are in need of a new doctor if they wont treat you before you lose weight. There are many things that may contribute to your not being able to conceive besides weight. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I know I've been praying a lot for the last few hours because I'm worried that I may be getting depressed. I really don't want that to happen. Maybe it would help you. We are here for you. Always.

Thanks, mic for your kind words! :0) It does help quite a bit actually. I know that I have other factors that come into play and I shouldn't fixate on one thing or another. I have also thought about sending dh for sa just to cover our bases. That of course would mean that he would have to schedule an appointment w/a doctor. We have been discussing this (for other reasons) for several months and even got to the point of picking a doctor out...now the remembering to make the appt part is a different story.

Yes, praying does help and thank you for the reminder. FWIW, if you are worried about depression, some nutritional shoreing up can be very helpful. Which, of course is another good reminder for me to get back on track!

Originally Posted by funnygrace

pampered_mom-- to you too. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's son. I hope he is doing well.

Thanks, funnygrace! The little boy is doing well. We didn't go visit them today, but I'm hoping that they moved him from the PICU to the ped's ward. It would be one hurdle down and a few more to go.

Originally Posted by funnygrace

Itybty—Glad you enjoyed the Preseed. Very slippery indeed.

to folaboye - I too am glad to hear that your dh is headed home. I certainly hope that his further recovery is a smooth one!

I need to head to bed - busy day ahead tomorrow. I'm glad I found you ladies to share this journey with and hope that many more of you will graduate soon - especially if this is your first (not to discount those with secondary infertility like myself). I enjoyed my pg so much with ds and miss it sometimes daily. It's like no other experience and I wish the same for all of you!

[mommy_in_chaos]

pamered_mom~
to you. I hope you're doing better today.


My temp dropped this morning, looks like af is on her way and it'll be back to CD1!

[lilyflower]

*** VENTING*****

I can't believe the difficulty involved in this whole process. What is supposed to be fun and loving can turn into such a scientific calculated stressful scheduled event that is so unpredictable. How can you be so prepared, instructed and diligent about something so majorly unpredictable. How can I sit daily for a whole month thinking about the timing of a few serious days, which can sometimes drag into a week or so, and then expect my DH to know when those days are. I cannot "speak" about the facts because it ruins the "vibe," but yet when those important days finally arrive, and he makes a plan to leave, not knowing it is the days, even though they are carefully marked on the calender in a loving, nonscientific way. Then when I carefully mention that those days he needs to be here, it causes a strange tension and stress that is not really discussible if you don't want to ruin the "vibe" you need to have good so you can enjoy the night's activities. - so that you can avoid the stress ......so that you can not be stressed so that you can conceive.......

I have been spending entire months and months and months being healthy, quitting caffeine almost for the TWWs, and every time DH forgets his vitamins, or gets irritated at me reminding him, or drinks alcohol, I get very irritated because that could very well be THE reason for all of this waiting, but he does not want an SA so there is no telling. And if he is too tired for BD and I have to spend the TWW not knowing for sure we completely tried our hardest that cycle.....

Don't get me wrong, my DH is very D and wonderful, but this situation is very stressful on us.

You know what I Mean???? UGH!!!! OMG!!! And it is only CD15.

[oceanmommy]

Originally Posted by mommy_in_chaos

oceanmommy~
You are awesome. Your attitude toward your life, your attitude toward everyone on this board, and your thoughtfulness of others. I just wanted to let you know that. Thanks for your kind words all the time, it's uplifting.

Theresa thank you so much for the warm fuzzies ! What a nice way to start the day. I appreciate it
I am sorry to hear that your temp dropped and you think AF is on her way



Lilyflower I understand how you're feeling I think, it is so frustrating for your DH to not understand how important these few days are to you and the ttc process. And that you spend days and weeks being careful about everything that affects you body, can't he just cooperate for a few days ? Frustrating.
Would it help if you told him it will be about every other day for a week or so ? That is a plan you can know ahead of time, which always ensure a fresh batch of sperm is available.



Funnygrace I feel the same way I think, I grieve at the end of my cycle when AF is about to arrive, then feel more like I'm ready to get on with it by cd1. I think when all those hormones crash at like 12-13 dpo it just really affects me emotionally. If I weren't ttc I'd call it a bad day, instead I feel like calling it a bad month since the whole cycle didn't work out.

I think you have something there about our bodies needing to grieve.... our bodies are such a part of this, our being in tune with them. The need to procreate is biological, and it makes sense that our biology feels disappointment when it doesn't work out.



Pampered Mom I say 6 cycles - especially if they are long ones like 40-something days - is plenty. How old are you BTW ? (I am turning 34 in a couple months and that biological clock is getting louder and louder with each passing cycle for me, since I have been trying this time since I was 32) If you are in your 30's it is sensible not to wait too long. When DH got his SA he didn't have to go to his dr, my gyn. dr gave the order for it and gave me the cup to give him. Then when we were ready I dropped it off at the lab. The SA is very important because I guess up to 40% of problems can be male factor, and if you identify a problem that's when you can work with it.
My experience at my new dr left me feeling optimistic and like I knew a good 6 months worth of things I could try which might improve chances, as well as tests showing I am "normal". I hope your experience is just as positive.





Stephanie Congrats on the house ! : What a week for you eh ? A whirlwind of good things. Big things. I think the stars and planets have aligned for you and you deserve every bit of goodness being showered on you now.

[HopesMom]

You are so supportive and wise oceanmommy.

[allisonrose]

lilyflower - It definitely feels like most of the burden falls on us huh? I hate putting my hubby under so much stress to perform but get annoyed because sometimes I'm not 100% in the mood but I go through the motions anyway. Plus it sucks that we have to "go through the motions" when so many have no issue getting pregnant.

I'm approaching O - hopefully Thursday or Friday. My hubby is likely going away for this weekend to visit his parents and help them plan a vow renewal ceremony. I'm not sure yet if I'll go with him since I don't have all that much time off available to me.

[pampered_mom]

mommy_in_chaos - right back at you. I'm sorry to hear about the temp drop, it's not over 'til it's over, though. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by lilyflower

I can't believe the difficulty involved in this whole process. What is supposed to be fun and loving can turn into such a scientific calculated stressful scheduled event that is so unpredictable. How can you be so prepared, instructed and diligent about something so majorly unpredictable.
:snip:
And if he is too tired for BD and I have to spend the TWW not knowing for sure we completely tried our hardest that cycle.....

I hear ya! I found the last part of your post resonated with me greatly. I hate those shoulda-coulda-woulda thoughts that occupy my mind once we hit the TWW. I especially hate the disappointments when you think you have perfect timing and then af arrives anyway.

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

Pampered Mom I say 6 cycles - especially if they are long ones like 40-something days - is plenty. How old are you BTW ? (I am turning 34 in a couple months and that biological clock is getting louder and louder with each passing cycle for me, since I have been trying this time since I was 32) If you are in your 30's it is sensible not to wait too long.

: Ummm...I'm only 27.

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

When DH got his SA he didn't have to go to his dr, my gyn. dr gave the order for it and gave me the cup to give him. Then when we were ready I dropped it off at the lab. The SA is very important because I guess up to 40% of problems can be male factor, and if you identify a problem that's when you can work with it.

That's good to know, actually. I'll have to feel out the midwife at the clinic I saw last time (CNM) to see what she thinks and who she would suggest.

Originally Posted by oceanmommy

My experience at my new dr left me feeling optimistic and like I knew a good 6 months worth of things I could try which might improve chances, as well as tests showing I am "normal". I hope your experience is just as positive.

I am really glad to hear that you had such a positive experience. I must admit, given my past experiences I'm a little leary of OBs. I guess part of why I have been so hesitant to go see someone is because I was planning on having a HBAC this time around with a CPM and I didn't want to have to deal with the whole what happens when I get pg thing and then what do I tell the OB? Most around here are not all that supportive of VBAC let alone HBAC.

Originally Posted by HopesMom

You are so supportive and wise oceanmommy.

Yes, yes she is!

Originally Posted by allisonrose

lilyflower I hate putting my hubby under so much stress to perform but get annoyed because sometimes I'm not 100% in the mood but I go through the motions anyway. Plus it sucks that we have to "go through the motions" when so many have no issue getting pregnant.

That is so true. Of course, then there are the times that you don't even want to "go through the motions" and then spend the TWW obsessing over whether that would have made a difference. : that you catch that egg!

Well...I think that about sums it up for me tonight. I'm working on the ultimate in slow foods meal. It's some beef stew (organic, grass-fed beef from our CSA) that I started three days ago with some knuckle bones to make broth!

[mommy_in_chaos]

I'm starting to get some cramps. We're going to GIO before shows up in the morning... It's bad enough that you have to schedule having sex around ovulation time so that you're sure you get the right amount of sperm in there, why do we have to bleed for a week before then so we can't just have sex for enjoyment. (well, we could, but if ya'lls husbands are like mine, it's out of the question) It's extremely irritating to me that the only time I even feel like DTD is when I'm on my period, and I can't get any. Am I wierd? I'm really frustrated about this!

[ELKMama]

Originally Posted by lilyflower

*** VENTING*****

I can't believe the difficulty involved in this whole process. What is supposed to be fun and loving can turn into such a scientific calculated stressful scheduled event that is so unpredictable. ... it causes a strange tension and stress that is not really discussible if you don't want to ruin the "vibe" you need to have good so you can enjoy the night's activities. - so that you can avoid the stress ......so that you can not be stressed so that you can conceive.......

Lilyflower - You're right on about this. This reproduction thing is a crazy system -- wonderous and miraculous when it all works but darn frustrating when it isn't. And the stress of it not working creates all that stress at KEY moments, etc etc. I'm sorry you were feeling all the stress yesterday and hope you're feeling relaxed and happy today!

Kind of funny story about that. We're wrapping up the crucial week of BDing and last night we wanted to watch a light romantic movie to jump-start the mood. Well, the video box said Match Point (a Woody Allen movie) was funny, sensual, and more but it was AWFUL. It was about a guy cheating on his wife -- always a big turn-on for me (sarcasm there ) -- and then, on top of that, the married couple was having fertility problems. So he was justifying the affair by saying that life at home was too stressful and GIO wasn't fun b/c of the fertility worries. PERR-FECT mood setting for us! Oh - and the movie wasn't even accurate about ttc. The wife was done with breakfast, sitting up at the table, when she announced that she had to take her temp to see if they needed to BD...

[allisonrose]

mommy_in_chaos - yup my hubby has no interest in GIO during AF but he always wants to. He claims I must give off some sort of pheronomes. I think it's that he can't have me. (Well he could have me if he really wanted.)

E - I saw that movie too! Doesn't it suck that even movies and TV aren't safe anymore. Last Monday I was feeling pretty down about things and we turn on Deal or No Deal and one of the contestants had an uber pregnant wife! Then a new plotline on Nip/Tuck is going to be the pregnancy of a character. (Yes I watch that show.

[mommy_in_chaos]

Elk~
I know exactly what you mean. I told DH one night I was in the mood for a comedy so we went down and found that at the video store. It was cheaper to buy it there, so we did, and we took it home and watched it. TERRIBLE!!! One of the worst movies I've ever seen. I told him we were taking it back to the vidoe store. We never did, but I am getting rid of it.

I haven't been to the bathroom yet, but I know she's here. My temp went WAY down below my coverline this am. I slept with a pad on last night so I could cover my bases. I have cramps like she's trying to kill me, and I can't stand up straight because my back hurts. So It's back to CD1 for me today... :