With my family I am taking the approach of initiating a conversation among all of us. I have talked to my sister and I just sent this note to my stepmother:
On the topic of Christmas, we have wondered about whether we should do something to make Christmas gift giving more downscaled. Thoughts? One idea I had was for everyone just to bring small stocking stuffer presents for everyone. Maybe that is too radical. The other idea I had was for the sibs to all draw names. I am not sure how that would work since DP and I have kids and no one else does. Or maybe we could put a price limit on presents or say they have to be hand made. Don't know if people have the time for that though. Or maybe people could make Christmas lists of small items they would like. I liked (my sister)'s amazon list last year. Maybe I should send an e-mail out to everyone and see what they say.
I love buying/giving Christmas presents, but at the same time I am wondering if there could be a way to simplify.
Okay, ZM here again. I already got a response back from the above e-mail and it was positively received. OP, my situation is different in that we are close with our extended families, but I wonder if initiating a conversation and getting their ideas would be a way to build your relationship with them?