WWYD re: airplane travel? *Update at end*

[AuntNi]

Because of finances, we haven't been to visit DD's grandmother (my in-laws) in two years. Every time we've been there, DD has an absolute blast. But last time we went, she refused to wear her Earplanes, and her little ears hurt for a few minutes on descent. Now that's all she remembers about our vacation! She's sworn she's never going to fly again.

Here's my quandary: Through work, I just got 3 free plane tix, to use before mid-December! I was just thrilled, of course! Until I mentioned it to DD, who started sobbing she's not going, because the airplane hurts her ears. She tried to make me promise we're not going, but I told her let's shelve the discussion until we can all be calm.

Part of me wants to say, "Tough, we're going!" Mature, huh? But seriously, the logical part of me says a) it's 10 minutes of discomfort in trade for a week of fun, and b) if she'll just keep her Earplanes in, she won't have any discomfort at all. Is that just incredibly mean and thoughtless of me? This is a one-time deal - I've been working here for 10 years and never before gotten a free trip. And it can't be postponed until later - it's now or never.

So, to wrap up this long-winded post, what would you do in my situation? I'm open to suggestions!

Thanks so much!

[PiePie]

I feel like this is a decision that she does not get to make. She gets to decide whether or not to wear her earplanes (never heard of them) but not whether or not the family visits family. If you were moving and had to fly, she wouldn't get to dictate that either, right? Sorry if this sounds harsh, I really am very child-centered, but I also think that it is your -- and more to the point DH's -- choice -- they are his parents.

I would however consider getting her checked out by a doctor, even an ENT, to make sure that she does not have lingering mucus or something that is clogging things up and making flying especially painful for her.

You could make it a game on the plane -- who can yawn biggest, longest, etc.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by PiePie

I feel like this is a decision that she does not get to make. She gets to decide whether or not to wear her earplanes (never heard of them) but not whether or not the family visits family. If you were moving and had to fly, she wouldn't get to dictate that either, right? Sorry if this sounds harsh, I really am very child-centered, but I also think that it is your -- and more to the point DH's -- choice -- they are his parents.

I tend to see the situation in the same way. I can see how horrible it would be having to drag her kicking and screaming onto the plane though! I wonder what you can do to warm her up to the idea. I'll have to let my tired brain think on it a bit, lol.

[JBaxter]

They make prescription ear numbing drops if you want to go that route. Even for placebo affect. I have no doubt they did hurt that time but you could try gum chewing also.

[Strong Mama]

OMG poor little girl. I have TERRIBLE excruiciating to the point of I am crying ear pain when I land for 10 minutes or so every time I fly. And I am 31, and I hate flying because of it, but of course, at my age, I know I have to. In saying that ..what are earplanes, cos I want some! and she will just have to go, thats not something a child decides. However, I would def. tell her to wear her earplanes and say something like, we are going to grammas, if you wear your earplanes your ears wont hurt, and we will get you a special puzzle or whatever for the plane ride. Also a little bit of pain reliever an hour before landing wouldnt hurt either, as that is what I have started doing when I travel..of course, i usually travel to and from the UK(about a 9 hour flight). But i can def. understand that pain and not wanting to experience it.

[hipumpkins]

I'm guessing she kows that her ears b/c she didn't wear the Earplanes (can't wait to find out about those)
can you make going on plane a really big deal?
My DD went on plane this year and typically she is fearful of many things and I was afraid the plane ride might lead us into a sceanrio of her crying and screaming. So for weeks we talked about BUBBLE GUM and how she could have it on the plane. When went shopping she coveted all the pink packages and I told her we would pick one out beofre the flight. She had never had bubble gum before so this was huge for her. We also picked out colored pencils and talked about how she would have her very own seat and teh stewedasses brought APPLE JUICE!!!
My DD could not wait to get on that plane...and she had a wonderful time b/c it was everythign she wnted it to be.

[NiteNicole]

I love Earplanes and they do seem to help.

Would she try them on now so she can see that they are no big deal? It may be easier to practice now than to talk her into it in the heat of the moment. Also, you could make an "ear care" package for her with gum, hard candy, chewy candy (lots of candy, but hey, if it helps), ear planes, etc so maybe she will feel prepared. I'd also second that drs trip so she can hear from someone else that her ears are healthy and shouldn't hurt.

[lisac77]

Wow, those Earplanes are so cool! I will definitely have to look into those the next time we travel.

I think you should take her and talk about what's going to happen. She will have a great time with the grandparents, so focus on that! Free tickets are too much to give up, in my opinion!

[Linda on the move]

I've never heard of earplanes but they sound cool!

I would talk to her a lot, bring multiple things to help ears, (the earplane things, chewing gum, juice box) and take the trip. I would be REALLY nice about it. If she has the least bit of a cold I would give her a decongestant (sp?) before the flight. I would bend over backwards to work with her to make sure she isn't in pain, and I would make sure that she knew that I cared and I that I was going to do everything possible.

This is not a decision that a child should be allowed to make. Although I believe that children should have tons of control over their lives (we are noncoervise for food, TV, etc.) but my kids wouldn't get to decide if we visit family or not.

[AuntNi]

Thank You so much for your responses! I, too, feel like we shouldn't have to give up free airplane tickets because she refuses to wear her Earplanes. Here's a link to more info on them, btw: http://www.cirrushealthcare.com/EarPlanes-C8.aspx I've had bad sinus/ear problems my whole life, and they really help me be more comfortable when I fly. I always buy them at Wal-Mart, Target, or Walgreens, but I'm sure any drug store would carry them.

I love all the juice/candy/gum suggestions, because I'm all about the bribery! I'd also never heard of the numbing ear drops, but will definitely be asking the ped about them. And what a great idea to take her to the ped before the trip - she totally listens to him.

If you think of any other distraction/bribery/health remedies, I'm all ears! And thanks again for your help!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by AuntNi

I love all the juice/candy/gum suggestions, because I'm all about the bribery!

It's NOT about bribery! Swallowing helps to relieve ear pressure, so anything that causes one to swallow helps ears when changing altitude.

With a child who has had problems in the past and is afraid, having a lot of options with you makes a lot of sense.

Bribing is about manipulating kids into doing what you want them to do. I, personally, think it is a really bad idea.

If this were my child I would be very honest and say something like:

"We are going to fly on an airplane to see Grandma. I know that last time your ears hurt you really, really bad, so we are going to do things differently this time. I know that you are scared, but I really think that with the new things we are doing, it will be OK."

Then I would talk about all thing we were going to do.

[pjlioness]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

If this were my child I would be very honest and say something like:

"We are going to fly on an airplane to see Grandma. I know that last time your ears hurt you really, really bad, so we are going to do things differently this time. I know that you are scared, but I really think that with the new things we are doing, it will be OK."

Then I would talk about all thing we were going to do.

I think the gentle-but-firm approach is *extremely* important with a scared/terrified child. Make you best effort to empathize with her fear and not minimize it. Ear pain can be horrific, and she may have developed something like PTSD/phobia in response. Do everything you can to make sure she will be pain-free. If she'll listen to her Dr., that's great too.

[AuntNi]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

It's NOT about bribery! Swallowing helps to relieve ear pressure, so anything that causes one to swallow helps ears when changing altitude.

With a child who has had problems in the past and is afraid, having a lot of options with you makes a lot of sense.

Bribing is about manipulating kids into doing what you want them to do. I, personally, think it is a really bad idea.

If this were my child I would be very honest and say something like:

"We are going to fly on an airplane to see Grandma. I know that last time your ears hurt you really, really bad, so we are going to do things differently this time. I know that you are scared, but I really think that with the new things we are doing, it will be OK."

Then I would talk about all thing we were going to do.

Linda, I absolutely did not mean to offend you. I was to show that I was kidding - the internet can be such a tough place to have conversations. Sorry again!

I really did love your suggestions, because we grownups know that swallowing is what she needs. But to my DD, apple juice and candy are forbidden fruit, so it *will* be a huge incentive (or, as I jokingly said, bribe) to her.

And I loved the way you phrased my potential conversation with DD. That's pretty much exactly what I said last night, but she was just too freaked out to listen. I think she'll pay more attention to her ped - she's still quoting from their conversation about nutrition from a year ago!

Thanks again!

[girlsmamma2]

I used to be a flight attendant. So anything you can do upon taking off and landing having to do with swallowing will help her. Eat, drink, chew gum, hold your nose and blow to pop your ears (not too much though). I once had a head cold when I was working and couldn't hear for an hour afterwards and that was scary and I was an adult! But as soon as you feel descent, start doing those things and she should be fine. I hope it goes better for you this time! poor thing!

[AuntNi]

Just wanted to let you know the trip went fine, and say "thanks again" for all the great suggestions.

DD wore her Earplanes the *entire* flight, drank water, chewed gum, and we "yawned" together. She said her ears didn't hurt at all, so I think all our steps worked. She still doesn't love airplane travel, but by the trip home, she'd decided it was more boring than scary. My thoughts exactly!

Oh, and we had a fantastic time!

Thanks again!

[mamasaurus]

Great news!

[babyj]

Thanks for the earplanes link. Glad everything went well for you.

I predict a run on earplanes at Target this week!

bj