Asked to COVER UP...

[Reikagoth]

So, yesterday I'm with my husband, who's in the military, trying to speak to an attorney. We're waiting in the hallway, and... out of no where this woman walks up, and very politely says:

"Um, excuse me.... ma'am? Um... we don't mind you doing.... that.... here, but... you're going to need to cover up.... your.... breast!"

I felt like telling her off... but... instead I just stared at her for a sec, not knowing what to say while she puttered around with things like...

"Do you need something to cover up with?" "You can always go outside", and finally, I just got fed up, grabbed my husbands beret, which is no where near big enough to cover a sleeping kiddo's face, much less that and a huge milk laden breast, and put it over my nipple.

:

It's amazing what a MILITARY ATTORNEY apparently doesn't understand about rights, rules, and regulations. LOL If the woman wasn't so terribly polite and shy (she sounded like she had been forced into it), I would have put in a complaint... but... *sigh* At least the little leutenants stopped staring after that.

[Cujobunny]

I sure don't mean this in a snarky tone, and I don't know exactly what the laws are regarding NIP in your area but I don't understand why when someone tells you you need to cover up, you do. If it were me, I would say, "No, actually I don't need to cover up." But here it is not only legal to breastfeed anytime anywhere, but it's also legal to be topless.

BTW you should put in a complaint. You shouldn't have to cover up and if that is in fact a law, it needs to be changed.

[annettemarie]

If you were anywhere on federal property, which I'm assuming any sort of military office would be, you are protected by federal law. You cannot be asked to cover up.

ETA: It's The Right to Breastfeed Act, H.R. 1848 and it protects your right to breastfeeding (without being asked to cover up) anywhere on federal property you and your child are allowed to be.

[Janice in Canada]

Hah, the image I get in my mind, of you using your dh's beret to cover up, is hilarious! Especially since I image the beret is all clean and spotless and pressed and all that! And that military are taught to respect their uniform - I'm sure some would have thought that a "disrespectful" use of it!

I think you did fine! I think using that entirely inappopriate object to cover up with, showed her how absurd she was being.

I think you've just invented another option in the "snappy comeback" category. Grab the nearest (and oddest) object near you, and use it to cover up with. Come on ladies, what crazy ideas can we come up with????


Also, in your defence of not saying something - I can clearly remember being like that when nursing, even just with my husband and in my house. Its something to do with nursing and the hormone release, but I would lose all capacity to speak intelligently. I could listen and understand, and I know what I wanted, but the words wouldn't come to me. I would just point to the fridge, and my dh would have to figure out that I needed my water bottle, or whatever. It just seemed so hard to think of the word and speak it, let alone say ask for it in a full sentence.

I think those hormones, compounded with being in a public place and being put on the spot like that, it is very understandable that you didn't have the words to explain what your really thought, & knew.

Janice

[CEG]

Former military myself, I am sure because she is a woman they made her tell you, that is probably why she was so uncomfortable.

Hilarious choice to use DH beret! I love it.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, make a complaint! Call the Inspector General and the commander of that unit you were at. Call the Community Health nurse and the Medical department of whatever branch you are. Write an editorial to the post paper. Go topless at the PX- well just kidding! Seriously, though, you would be doing so many people a favor by politely and appropriately fixing this situation.

[Reikagoth]

I've gone to my PX tons of times, and never had an issue. The worst I would get would be a sideways glance, and then down thier eyes would go. LOL.

I'll see what I can do about this. I just found it absolutely hilarious that this happened at an ATTORNEY!!! LOL. It boggles my mind how they could be so ignorant of the LAW! LOL!

I live in texas for all who are curious, and Bf is just fine here... not very common, but, no one really says anything about it.

I told my husband right after it happened that I REALLY need to find those little 'liscense to breastfeed' things and start carrying them around. LOL

[minkajane]

I am active duty Air Force and I have nursed DS in uniform in public! When we would go out to lunch, I would nurse him at the table and I've even nursed him sitting at my desk. Nobody said a word. Definitely speak to the commander and/or first sergeant of the unit you were at. It would help to have the last name of whoever spoke to you.

[CEG]

Originally Posted by minkajane

I am active duty Air Force and I have nursed DS in uniform in public! When we would go out to lunch, I would nurse him at the table and I've even nursed him sitting at my desk. Nobody said a word. Definitely speak to the commander and/or first sergeant of the unit you were at. It would help to have the last name of whoever spoke to you.

Awesome! I was very self conscious about BF around all the guys I worked with, so I never had the nerve. Good for you!

[Meiri]

First thought that came to my mind was "we don't do burqas in this country."

I like that concept Janice: using something really silly, more to mock the whole idea of "covering" than to truly cover.

[rozzie'sma]

Totally violated the federal law, please call her on it!!!

[ColeysMama]

I was active duty USMC for 4 years; my dh is still in. I have nursed all over base and only one has anyone said anything (that was at an office Christmas party). I've gotten a lot of looks, but nothing more.

Agreed with the PP's - that is completely illegal and you should complain. Find out who's in charge of the office you were at, and write a letter. I'd drop a line to the base paper as well, just a reminder that NIP is legal on public property.

Just a side note, after the NIP incident at the Christmas party, I printed out a copy of the NIP-on-federal-property law and posted it on my bulletin board in my office. Never said a word to anyone, but I know quite a few people noticed it. You may want to get a copy and take it with you when you're on base.

[Reikagoth]

Thanks for all the comments!

I went ahead and filed a complaint through ICE. Hopefully it'll get the message out.

[clynnr]

Originally Posted by Janice in Canada

Hah, the image I get in my mind, of you using your dh's beret to cover up, is hilarious! Especially since I image the beret is all clean and spotless and pressed and all that! And that military are taught to respect their uniform - I'm sure some would have thought that a "disrespectful" use of it!

I think you did fine! I think using that entirely inappopriate object to cover up with, showed her how absurd she was being.

I think you've just invented another option in the "snappy comeback" category. Grab the nearest (and oddest) object near you, and use it to cover up with. Come on ladies, what crazy ideas can we come up with????

Ha! Now I have a mental picture of grabbing a nearby plate to cover up my breast at a resaturant, LOL! Or maybe a fork. This is a fun game!

To the OP: I'm glad you filed a complaint--it doesn't mean you want to get the woman in trouble, you just want to make sure they are aware of and following the law.

[wonderwahine]

my mom has been in that position before........when i was a newborn dad was just a new private and my mother is an outspoken women....so he WAS VERY SCARED! she simply told them no, if you dont like it, don't look.

as a pp said, on federal ground it is illegal for them to ask you to cover up, stop or anything else.

I love that you used your dh's beret!

(on a side note, as a baby, the same day as the bf incident, the governer general, I'm a new zealander, who was a woman at the time, wanted to pick me up. My mum tryed to warn my dad about me not having a diaper on, and the GG said "oh no, shes fine!"...........and I pee'd all over her $1000 dress . Then that night they had to attend a dinner with her and all the other soliders...and her and mom turned up in the same dress! except mum got hers at the thrift store )

[Sagesgirl]

I am glad you filed a complaint, though somewhat surprised you have to. Goodness knows all three of my babies have been nursed in a variety of military installations, all without incident. I even nursed DD#1 at Squadron HQ, with a good many sailors coming and going, and I don't think anyone even noticed.

[dukeswalker]

Originally Posted by Janice in Canada

I think you did fine! I think using that entirely inappopriate object to cover up with, showed her how absurd she was being.

I think you've just invented another option in the "snappy comeback" category. Grab the nearest (and oddest) object near you, and use it to cover up with. Come on ladies, what crazy ideas can we come up with????

Ha! How about a loaf of breead at the grocery store, a coffee cup lid at your local coffee shop, a leaf at a park!

[intorainbowz]

If you happen to be at HAFB, I'll nurse in with you....

I nurse all over the base. The only time I got a comment was when they played taps, I was on a bench outside the BX... A captain told me I could remain seated. So I did.

[Nisupulla]

I heard a LLL Leader speak about nursing and the military once. Even with all her resources, making change was tough. I wonder if you might like to be in contact with her. If you know a leader, I'm sure she could help you.

[CEG]

Originally Posted by Reikagoth

Thanks for all the comments!

I went ahead and filed a complaint through ICE. Hopefully it'll get the message out.

Good for you! I filed an ICE complaint once and immediate action was taken. Let us know how it turns out!

[BakingMama]

Glad to hear you filed a complaint. Good for you!