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I want another baby, he doesn't - any advice? - Page 3

post #41 of 43
Hugs. I want more kids and dh doesn't. I will never understand this. I guess he just keeps hoping I'll get over it and soon be too old.

So yeah, I hear you sister!
post #42 of 43
I know this isnt what you want, but have you thought of fostering children? You get to nurture and love a child and make a difference in their lives, and yet its not permanent.
post #43 of 43
Originally Posted by jbmill2 View Post
In my opinion, money is fleeting, as is time, and I have never met anyone who regrets having that last child once they look at their sweet little face.
That's for sure!

I just want to offer some encouragement. While we were still dating, Dh and I had agreed with hardly any discussion that 2 is the perfect number of children. Then I enjoyed my first baby so much I started to wonder why I had plans to limit myself to only 2. I told dh I wanted 4 or 6. He said maybe 3. Life got hard with 2 children (especially because C has health issues), but I continued to want one more. I really did not feel "done." We talked a lot about it in the two years after C was born, but more and more I came to agree with dh's reasoning (primarily financial, but for myself I was looking forward to leaving the less pleasant tasks of babyhood behind and moving on to new adventures with big kids). I began getting rid of the baby toys, clothes, and paraphenalia. Nothing big fortunately. It's funny how quickly I became pregnant after finally deciding to give up on the idea and start getting rid of things. It happened after dh had been on a long business trip. He missed me. It was the beginning of a new year and we had visions of re-connecting as a couple, fixing up the house, etc. Alas, my first post-partum period had just passed. When we neglected to use bc that night, I reminded him of that fact, since he had been so sure he wanted no more, but he said, "It's okay, we're married." Two weeks later, HE was the one who found the line had shown up. He took it pretty matter-of-factly. It got tense later, when I insisted on having a homebirth for the first time. But we worked through that too.

And yes, he admires our son's sweet face and has never expressed any regret. And I already can't even imagine life without our son.

The neatest thing is, after Ian was born I finally DID feel very DONE. I feel very fulfilled and have no interest in having any more (and won't because dh got the snip). So I think that feeling of not being done means something. You probably aren't.
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