Re: Did I teach my baby to be a 'no' saying toddler
It is apparent that my view will be in the minority (again!), but here it is.
1) We managed to not use "no" for a long time, (like 2 1/2 years). Kids learn what is around them. The result for us is a YES baby (2 babies now).‚h‚”e‚“ tricky, but creating an environment where "no" is hardly necessary has profoundly benefitial effects that last long into childhood.
|Originally posted by amarasmom
The first time dd fell and got hurt I scooped her up and comforted her. She wasn't calming down so I chastized the chair she bonked on by shaking my finger at it and telling it, "No, no. Don't you hurt my baby" I've done it a few times because it always makes her laugh and smile and feel better.
Now she will point her finger at a toy and say "Na, na, na, na"
I don't want a toddler who screams "NO!!!" am I doing the wrong thing here?
Most certainly yes. Both DW an I quite independently held the view that by chastizing an object unintentionally teaches children to turn and punish the things that don't behave in the way they want or expect.
When DD1 was very small, she tripped over a chair leg and cried. A good family friend went to her aid, and as a way to console DD, scolded and beat the leg! We quickly put a stop to that, and explained why. She was amaized to see DW "rubbing it better" on the chair leg after DD had recovered, and even more astonished to see DD come over and put a bandage on the chair "to help the poor chair".
When we get hurt, we are usually not the only ones. For children to get a handle on other peoples hurts during accidents from an early age.
If she's unconsolable, stuff her mouth with strawberries, apple slices, rolly polly with her, hang her up-side-down and tickle her tummy, give her a long hug.
Don't punish something else. It might be you one day.