Nursing pregnant mamas support thread - Page 12

[Ms. B. Sprout]

Bumping and joining in . . . great thread, y'all. I needed this.

I am 11 wks pg and nursing my 15 month old ds.

My main issue is eating enough to avoid low blood sugar/feeling faint/feeling crappy. I am amazed at how much food I need. I can't keep up!

[queenbean]

Originally Posted by Ms. B. Sprout

My main issue is eating enough to avoid low blood sugar/feeling faint/feeling crappy. I am amazed at how much food I need. I can't keep up!

I hear ya on that one. My problem is, I'm absolutely starving, but everything I eat nauseates me. If I could find something that I could eat without wanting to throw up, I'd be eating constantly all day. Before the nausea started, I was chowing down on a 2-foot cheesesteak and a bag of chips and was STILL hungry, and then I'd eat again in about 2 hours. It was ridiculous.

[neverdoingitagain]

You can add me to the list of nursing while pregnant! I'm only 10 weeks and my dd is 37 months Makes it easier knowing I don't have a huge demand on my body for milk, since my dd doesn't nurse as much as say a 1 year old!
I have the usual complaint, sore nipples(tight bras are becoming my BFF ) I also have a very tender stomach, can't stand any pressure on it, which can be very frustrating with a lovey-dovey 3 year old :
I too have had well-meaning advice from well-meaning but woefully ignorant friends. Get this, between the three of them(yes, three ladies ganged up on me one afternoon) they probably have a total of 6 months bf experience. And one of them has 3 kids. Anyway, I haven't and won't back down on my position on nursing my 3 year old.
Excuse while I rant for a moment
I had one of these ladies tell me that my dd will be jealous of my baby nursing, so I must wean before the baby comes. Umm yeah, cuz seeing what she used to be able to do whenever she wanted only a couple months ago will in no way make her jealous. : Frankly, my biggest worry is convincing my dd that the baby will not be using a bottle. She's got it in her head that babies use bottles, even though she nurses

[SheBear]

Yikes.

Well, mamas, I am struggling, and i could sure use some advice or at least a shoulder! Today the aversion hit. Hit hard. Up until now, we've done okay, and I've just been praying to make it one day at a time....one more day, then one more day after that. But today he was so fussy and clingy and tired and wanted to nurse, and I got him latched on, thought it was going to be fine, started to relax.....and WHAMMO!!! The sudden, horrible, unexplained aversion (which is really too mild a word!) just came crashing down on me, and it was all I could do to not just yank him off me!

I tried to breathe through it and lasted about a second before I unlatched him, and whereas most other days he prolly wouldn't have minded, today of course it was like his world was ending, and yet I just couldn't allow him to latch on again. We ended up both of us sobbing there together. A few minutes later I tried to latch him on the other side, and it was a bit better, but not much. I am hoping and praying it was just the situation for today (I simply wasn't feeling well most of the day, and as I said, he was unusually clingy and fussy himself) but I need some strategy for coping if (when?) this happens again.

With ds1, I was nearly always able to give him a warning that nurse time was ending and a count down. But this today was so strong and so sudden, and I couldn't have counted to three, much less to ten!

I'm already chewing the inside of my cheek and digging my fingernails into the underside of my breast. I so much want this to be lovely and gentle for both of us, and I do NOT want to wean, or consider weaning! But how to get through it?

Part of it, I think is his latch changing. Whether that be due to my supply or milk changing, I'm not sure. Possibly both, and I think he may be working on his 2-year molars as well. But while it helps to know those things, it just doesn't keep me from wanting to pluck him off my breast while screaming at the top of my lungs, KWIM?

He only generally nurses 3 times a day as it is. Sometimes four, rarely more than that. I just don't know where to go from here, how to balance his needs with my sanity.

Help, please?

[richella]

nak Well, I don't know what to tell you. I made it through pg but when the baby was born I just couldn't stand it anymore. I've gone from 10 min to 5 to sometimes 3. Some days it's better, or worse, haven't seen any pattern. Dd1 is really showing it in her behavior. It makes me feel like a horrible mom. And mil, who was horrified that I didn't wean at the first sign of pregnancy, says, "Oh, so this would have been a reason to wean. Too bad you didn't know 4 months ago." Yeah right 4 mos would make the difference to dd? I'm sure she would remember it all.

[Jennah_Gole]

Hey I don't know what to tell you..but ds who is now 13 months was latched on all night...and I am not jokin when I say all night...everytime I thought he was done and tried to roll over he would wake up crying and latch on again...and it seems when I am sooo exhausted from a horrible night my morning sickness gets ten times worse....all day today I was nauseous and I haven't been nauseous for a week or so...

I am really trying to hang on -- I do have aversion but its not that bad to where I can"t stand it yet and hopefully it will stay that way but my biggest concern is shouldn"t we up our intake of calcium and iron since we are breastfeeding and making a baby at the same time? I seriously am not taking anything cuz I can't stand to take anything...I can barely down water let alone a pill of calcium or iron...now I have a serious aversion to taking pills now... but i sort of feel drained which is normal i guess in pregnancy especially in the beginning but I feel like I probably need to be takin something extra.

Now i took my ds to the hospital for a checkup and the doctor found out about my pregnancy and was totally against me breastfeeding while prego saying that the nutrition won't get to the baby if u breastfeed: This is the second doctor I hear this from -- I guess I don't believe them but where are they getting this ignorance from!

[SheBear]

What a strange thing for a doctor to say....it makes no sense biologically. The fetus eats first....everyone knows that! If you were just pg and not nursing, and were very sick, unable to eat, the doctor would tell you not to worry too much about the baby, because it will get what it needs from your fat stores, etc.

So how is it that a nursing baby is somehow seen as the equivalent of a leech?

And maybe he could explain the fact that so many women who are nursing during pregnancy experience a significant drop in supply, or even completely dry up? Is that not obviously the body's way of making sure that the needs of the unborn child are being met first and foremost?

I thank you both for your thoughts on my behalf. Yesterday and today have been some better than Wednesday was, thankfully. We'll get through this one day at a time. Hopefully without too much permanent trauma, LOL!

Blessings,

[mamamoo]

Jennah, do you think your kiddo could be thirsty? Is your supply down? It never occurred to me to think of that(I read it here) because I was just so used to my milk meeting my kiddos needs, but when my supply went down they were really thirsty at night.
Just thought I'd mention it, just in case.
I hope things get better mama.

[Jennah_Gole]

mamamoo yeah it could be since I got pregnant i can't get myself to drink water....tea and coffee which i was totally addicted to are out the window...i am afraid to drink juice cuz of the heartburn...yeah i do feel thirsty during the day but what to do? the only thing i drink is the vinegar + honey mix in warm water like twice a day...maybe i will try to drink something else when I figure out what that will be.:

[adon]

shebear....i was in your boat! DS is almost 3yo, and i recently had to make the hardest decision i have ever made...and did NOT want to make. we weaned...still working on it....DS only nursed maybe 2-3 times a day... nap and bedtime. he would not fall asleep unless he was on the "ba bas". i had the same "aversions" which i also agree that it is too mild of a word! i have no milk left (i'm 18w4d). it was everything i had to keep from ripping him off me! i tried "zoning" from TV, tried thinking about other things...i even tried pinching myself until it hurt to get thru it.

i'm not saying you should wean...i had always planned on child led weaning. i'm still mourning the loss of BFing DS, but i could no longer ignore my body, and when i spent most of the day dreading the nursing moments i knew i had to do something. we still cuddle at nap and bed time until DS falls asleep. now i'm just TRYING to relax a little until new babe comes, and not feel TOO guilty....so i can be ready for another 3 years or more...

[SheBear]

Thanks, Adon! It's good to know I'm not alone. I faced the same thing with ds1, who was 16 mos when I got pg with dd. I stuck it out (it was somewhat easier, because I didn't have other children to tend to, so I could devote myself fully to him) through the whole pregnancy, and I'm glad that I did, because I truly feel he needed it. Also, i was motivated because we had such trouble getting breastfeeding established--he had a tongue tie, and it caused all sorts of trouble at the beginning. I guess part of me felt that after working through so much and never giving in, I didn't want to give it all up too soon, KWIM? Still, it was verrrrry hard.

DD weaned herself soon after I got pg with ds2, and I felt so much guilt because she was only 16 months when she weaned, which seemed much too young to me. But at the same time, I felt quietly relieved, because I really feared getting to that place of aversion again. It took me a long time to come to peace with her weaning, but I finally accepted it as an answer to prayer--literally! Because I honestly prayed that God would help me through the nursing-while-pregnant issue. And He did--just not in the way I thought I wanted!

Anyway, I am so hesitant to consider weaning ds2, because he is only 17 months old! And he really seems to still need/want the relationship. I don't want to take it away from him, and I don't want to feel the guilt again.

And yet, I also know that my tension and stress about it is going to be picked up by him. He's been so fussy and clingy lately, that I think it already is, quite honestly. And that's not good either. How can I meet his needs for comfort and security and warmth and closeness and pleasure, etc., if I'm cringing inside each time I nurse him, and he KNOWS it?

I just don't know what to do. I want to try to just take it one day at a time, because I'm sure that if I can make it through the pregnancy, we'll be fine. Tandem nursing doesn't bother me, and by that time, he'll be old enough to understand limits if I need to set them. But how can I make it through 6 more months of this? And would I be doing him any favors by *forcing* myself to endure it, without any enjoyment? He's a smart little guy, and I don't think I could fool him for a minute!

And as far as taking it one day at a time--is that even fair, if I can't be consistent in my own emotions? If i can sit and cuddle and nurse and enjoy it one minute, yet turn around the next and be unable to stand it? How confusing must that be!

I know it must sound like I'm looking for an easy answer, or absolution for giving up. Really that's not the case. I have no intention (at least, not now) of weaning him. But I just hope that I'm doing the right thing. That I'm not actually harming him by not being able to control these feelings.

I dunno if that makes any sense. I think if he were as old as your ds, I would have no qualms in guiding him to wean. DS1 weaned himself at just a few days shy of 3, just quit totally cold-turkey. Then a couple months later, indicated that he wanted milk again, LOL! At that point, I was not willing to turn back the clock, so to speak, but I was able to talk WITH him about it, and I feel sure that he didn't suffer. I'm sure that your son is prolly just fine, and I hope that you can find peace in the situation, because from my POV, you have made a very understandable and loving decision.

I just think my situation is a bit different only because my son is still so young....I noticed tonight when I laid him in bed--his breath, the top of his head--he still smells like a baby! Oh, that smell! I couldn't let him go for the longest time.

Anyway, thanks again for the support, everyone. It really means so much to know I'm not going through this alone. To most people, it's a no-brainer: wean him, already--he's really too old to be "doing that" as it is!

I almost feel bad, knowing the great joy they are missing out on. Of course, as with any great joy, there is pain and sacrifice involved, right?

[waiting4it2snow]

Originally Posted by Jennah_Gole

mamamoo i am afraid to drink juice cuz of the heartburn...yeah i do feel thirsty during the day but what to do?

Jennah, have you tried the red raspberry leaf tea? It's mild tasting and can be sweetened and actually really helps with heartburn. My midwife sells a loose-leaf bag of 4 ounces for $7 - it also has spearmint, nettles, alfalfa, dandelion leaf and oatstraw... I just steep it in a large pot of boiled water and then strain it into a pitcher, add a little sugar, and refridgerate it. If you want me to mail you some, I'd be more than happy, just IM me.

I know you are having trouble keeping things down, but keep trying... have you tried ginger tea?

If you get past the nausea, look into liquid calcium also - it's not too expensive and definitely worth taking. My midwife actually sells that too if you can't find any, LOL. It tastes like vanilla.

[Jennah_Gole]

waiting4it2snow awww thanks for the offer thats very sweet -- I am going to go looking for the red raspberry leaf tea and if I don't find it I will make u send it to me!!!--- I thought I had the heartburn all worked out as I was drinking vinegar and honey and I swear it was working...I was on it for a week and then all of a sudden it stopped working and then I started getting nauseous. I have only thrown up twice and I did try the ginger tea...I really didn't know how to go about making it so i just took a piece of ginger and peeled and through it in the hot water for and let it boil for awhile then I sweetened it with a bit of honey and drank it...the nausea seemed to go away for awhile -- I mean like four hours and then it came back.

and the liquid calcium oooh thats an awesome idea!!!! u c I couldn't do without u ladies!!!!

[APMomOfKimmyN-Maya]

I'm due in February and I am currently nursing my 14 month old. So far I have noticed that I am just absolutely starving all the time. If I'm not eating every hour or two it seems like I get to a starving/sick mode.

[Collinsky]

I'm about 10 weeks along, and nursing my 12 mo son. I nursed Dd1 through my second pregnancy (horrid nursing aversion from the middle to the end. Ugh!) and tandem nursed for 10 months. Dd2 weaned during my 3rd pregnancy... she wasn't as committed to nursing once my supply dropped off and I started setting limits to minimize the aversion. (And I agree with a PP that "aversion" is WAYYY too mild a word for the sensation.) She weaned shortly before the birth, and has only nursed occasionally since then. (Although 2 months ago, she nursed every night for 20 to 30 minutes. No idea why.)

At any rate, my son is similar to my Dd1 in his need for breastfeeding, and I am planning on nursing through the pg and tandem nursing. So far so good, as my supply is still high and no aversion yet. I know it will hit, and it will be hard... but I feel up to the task. It will be nice to have some commiseration and support though from others going through some of the same feelings.

[Jennah_Gole]

I, too, have to eat constantly.....I need ideas though for foods that I can eat that will keep full a little bit longer...its hard to keep thinking of things to eat.

On another note, I am sad to say when the nausea got real bad I decided I really have to night wean ds -- for the past three nites he has been screaming - by the time I latch him on i get nauseous again and run to the bathroom...it has been just horrid...so he slept with dh last night but got up five times to nurse crying and dh would console him and put him back to sleep and tell him in the morn momma is gonna give u milkies. It was so sad....but for the both of us it has to be done.

[mamamoo]

Lots of protein mama. I swear it is a life saver.

[KLK7]

nursing aversion

i too am having a nursing aversion.
i try to read here at mdc or a book, or watch tv. anythingto distract myself.

[Collinsky]

Originally Posted by KLK7

i too am having a nursing aversion.
i try to read here at mdc or a book, or watch tv. anythingto distract myself.

What I've done in the past is crossword puzzles, trashy novels, anything that gets your focus on something else. I also read Mothering Your Nursing Toddler several times, especially referring to the chapters on nursing during pregnancy. I lived in that book! So far I haven't had any problems but it's early yet for me. I'm definitely bracing myself for it.

Nursing aversion is terrible. (((hugs))) to you, Mamas!

[mama_nym]

Jumping in!

I'm newly pg - due in Feb and am once again nursing through pregnancy. I've nursed one through one pregnancy, tandem nursed through 2 pregnancies and am now triandem nursing and pregnant. I'm having major nausea issues, actually made worse by, of all things, eating! I'm forcing food down, though, because I NEED to eat!

For those having an aversion to nursing - try upping your protein intake and drinking while you're nursing. Often not getting enough protein, being slightly dehydrated or your body being out of balance in some other way can greatly contribute to nursing aversions.

For those with an aversion to drinking water - try red raspberry leaf tea (the tea available through Compleat Mother is great!), seltzer with ginger, or water with lemon or lime.