Bed times?

[copslass]

I just saw a similar thread for tots, and decided to find out what kind of routines everyone else has with their 11-12 year olds, 13-14 year olds, etc.
I like my almost 11 and 12 year olds to be in their rooms at 9:00, "lights out" at 9:30. Not to have you think that actually happens on a nightly basis!
What about you?

Tracy

[calgal007]

9:00 in bed with lights out at 9:30 seems perfectly reasonable and is the norm among my friends who have 11-12 year old children.
What about nine year olds?????

[gabner]

I am a single homeschooling mom and I have let my kids set their own bed times. We have quiet time after about 8 or so. When my youngest was younger (now 13) he had to go to bed if he was loud and bothered people and it was dark out. All we would have to say is "it's dark out" and he would settle down, he knew he would have to go to bed if he didn't.

My kids are now 22. 19. and 13 and they appreciate that they have always been able to set their own bed times.

[Red]

My 11 and 13 dd go upstairs at 8:30, lights out and quiet by nine. Weekends they stay up til 10:00. They have to be up at 6:30, so I think they need this much sleep to wake up refreshed...I do.

[emmaline]

my nearly 11 yo is in bed by 9, reads till 10, then lights out but is often awake for another hour (asthma, eczema, anxious nature) so often puts on a relaxation CD with imagery & breathing techniques
lights out does get stretched if he's finishing a really good book
this is also often the time for life dramas to be chewed over...

[barjem]

Bed time in our home is
8:15-upstairs get ready
8:30- lights out
9:00- out like a light!
My kids are 3-15 years they all up early between 5:30-6;30am
on the weekends lights are out by 9:00pm

[3boysmom]

We've been discussing this very issue at our house lately. My 11 (next month) year old goes to bed at 9pm. He needs to be up at 7am for school and is always snoring within 10 minutes of lights out. Next year (middle school) he'll need to be up by 6am so, even though he'll be older, we will likely keep bedtime the same. He doesn't get much of a break on weekends due to early soccer games/swim practices but we will let him slide a bit. He argues that 9 is too early but the fact that he is sound asleep within minutes doesn't give him much room to argue!

[copslass]

Thank you for all your replies!
Our neighbors don't seem to have any routine at their house, our 12 year old ds likes to cite that as "normal" and is beginning to resent our "reasonable expectations" here at home.
Keep 'em coming!
Tracy

[alianmama]

My 8-year old goes to bed at 8pm, with rare exceptions. My 14yo goes to bed by 9 latest, with rare exceptions. HOWEVER I have the right and responsibility to get either or both of them into bed earlier when I know they're tired. As an educator and parent, I know that teens actually NEED MORE sleep than when they're 8-10 years old. The tremendous changes they're going through really tax them. As a teacher, a HUGE problem is tired students!! Who don't eat breakfast! It drives me crazy.

So, at least 2x a week my 14yo goes to bed at 8. When I see him yawning and 'too tired' to do his chores, off he goes- and conks out right away. At times my 8yo is in bed at 7. We get up by 6:20 or so, and I have noticed that we all function much better when we're well rested. We need more sleep in the wintertime, too.

When I was a young mom, I was much more easy-going about bettimes, and a lot of things. In the last few years I have come to accept that the more structured approach really does our family good. Not only is everyone well-rested (and rarely ever get ill really!) but I know that my focus is almost 100% on my boys until 8-9, and then I get my time. It helps keep me balanced.

[Bay's Mamma]

This is a great topic! There is actually research that teenagers require more sleep. I forget what the number was, but I think it's close to ten hours/night. The average teenager is getting something like 5.5 hours. There is a movement of doctors who believe that many children and teenagers are "sleep deprived". These doctors are of the understanding that behavioral problems, ADD, ADHD, and educational issues are, in many cases, a product of sleep depravation. These doctors believe that sleep is as important if not more, than proper nutrition. When you think about it, you don't allow your child to skip entire meals. Why would you allow them to have vital sleep stolen? Love and Light.

[3girls1boy]

The interesting thing about teenagers is that although they need more sleep, their bodies clocks change so most of them are not ready to sleep until 11 p.m. People who do this kind of research say, because of this, high schools would be better off starting later in the morning, instead of having all those dozing off kids in the first period. High schools around here start at 7:30 a.m. !! I can hardly even think myself at that hour.

[alianmama]

Yeah, I've read some research on teen's sleep needs. One researcher concluded that not only did teens need 9.5-10 hours of sleep, but their cycles run a bit later- but not much. The whole idea of a natural inclination to go to bed late, like at 11pm, is controversial. One researcher said it was way off the mark; that the "average" kid has the "natural inclination" to go to bed around 11pm BECAUSE their parents allow them to be up that late watching TV and using the computer!! Duh!?
My own 14yo likes to be in bed by 9 or 9:30 latest, and we're up at 6:30. He rarely argues when I send him to bed at 8-8:30. So, I'm inclined to think that our body clocks adjust to the hours we need to keep on a regular basis- mine certainly does!

Bottom line, common sense (as usual) seems the best way to go...