is a nursing room a good thing or bad?

[mama in the forest]

I haven't been to a mall in years.....and tonight I had the unfortunate cause to be at my nearest town's mall to pick something up.

While there, I saw lots of formula feeding mamas....though did not happen to see any breastfeeding mamas. And, I was surprised to see, down a very long hallway & exactly next to the restrooms, a "nursing room". It was very small, barely fit one rocking chair in it, but it did indeed have a rocking chair & foot rest in it. Someone had taken the time to hang a picture with a very discreet nursing mother & child on the wall, and there was a metal sign right outside the door marked "nursing room". The room was absolutely filthy....the rocking chair was black with dirt & the walls were pretty gross. And, because of the location there was the strong scent of sh*t in the air.

I found that I had mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand I thought: hey, they've provided a nice (albeit gross) little room for the benefit of breastfeeding mothers. Some mamas might enjoy the privacy such a room provides. On the other hand, why should breastfeeding mothers be ostrasized away from the public? Why must we hide ourselves away? There were lots of mothers formula feeding throughout the mall - why was there no "formula room"?

I can say this - I wouldn't nurse in there - I plopped myself down right next to the mamas with bottles & whipped it out!

[Belle]

Some nursing rooms that I've seen are quite nice. Comfy chairs and some toys for older children to play with. Great for easily distractable toddlers who need some quite or for new moms who don't feel comfortable enough yet to NIP.

On the other hand I've also seen one that was like what you describe only worse. It looked like an interrogation room on one of those police dramas. Very stark and scary, with an ancient rocking chair in one corner and a hard table in the other. Very high ceilings with awful yellow walls and flourescent lighting.

Though noone should ever feel required to use one just because its there. I prefer it when they're called "mother rooms" rather than "nursing rooms" because ff mothers can use them too.

[anitaj71]

Our local mall also has a 'nursing room'. It is also by the bathrooms. It is by the enterance in bathroom with a L shaped padded bench and a big window overlooking the bathroom stalls. The smell was lovely. Just the place I would want to eat my lunch. We left and I 'whipped it out' on a comfortable chair ( these cosy couches and chairs have been put in recently) provided in the malls in middle of the hallways for tired shoppers and for me, a nursing mom.

Should anyone get any credit for providing those smelly rooms? No. But thanks for the comfy, large, armchairs in the middle of the mall so we can sit nurse, relax and annoy the h*ll out of the poor old guy sitting across from me.:

[smeep]

I have mixed feelings as well. On one hand, I like that they are acknowledging nursing mothers and giving them a (often times but not always) nice place to nurse. On the other hand, I do not appreciate that it often brings along the thought that we HAVE to use it. If all nursing rooms were made for women who want them, but it was known that no woman HAD to use them, then I would be 100% for them, but it's the fact that people will point you to a nursing room to "do THAT" because that's what it's there for...I don't like that, not at all.

[CJ 5]

I think moms with more than one baby like a nursing room so the toddler can run around while you nurse. I think they are a nice addition but I can see that it might lead to expecting moms to hide while they nurse which I don't agree with AT ALL!!

[mika85]

i would especially be offended if the nursing room, like you described, was so friggin' gross. : in fact, i would complain about it.

i just don't like the whole idea of nursing room, i nurse wherever the i want. the law protects mothers so they can do so. i guess i can understand if some BFing moms are uncomfortable with NIP: a nursing room is better than a bathroom. but i'm one of the shyest people in the world, and i'll happily BF my baby on black friday in the busiest mall in my state while hundreds of people walk by. i don't care, if my baby is hungry i'm gonna feed her. i kinda wish shy nursing moms would get over that discomfort, like i did. after all, there is a way to nurse your baby discreetly so that no one ever notices. i do it everytime i go out, and no one notices, much less give me any funny looks or say anthing to me.

my point is, nursing rooms are few and far between. at least i've yet to see one. at every place you go, there's not a guaranteed nursing room or private area to go to BF, besides an icky bathroom. so BFing moms will have to get used to NIP.

[triciar]

I like the nursing room at my mall, it's quite roomy, comfy chair and dimmed lights. Mama's who like to nurse in the main part are free to do so but it makes nursing more convenient for lots of women who would like a quiet spot.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I think it is great that they provide a room for nursing as long as they dont expect all mothers to use it. For me since I have a dd that runs away on me I would probably use it just to keep her safe. If I was alone however I would nurse ds were ever I happened to be. It is always nice to have a choice.

That room you described tho sounds like it would be about the same as using the bathroom to nurse :Puke

[Meiri]

I don't mind the concept for those moms who prefer to have a more private and mostly quiet location for nursing, as long as there's no expectation that all nursing moms must use it.

But the room you describe in the OP is a disgusting insult IMO. Do they put the food court where bathrooms odors waft through the eating areas? Then why do that to nursing babies? Do they let the rest of the mall get grimy and disgusting? Then why are they doing so with that room?

[Ambyrkatt]

I frequently use nursing rooms but also frequently NIP. I would never use a room like the one you described, but the lounge at the mall closest to me is very nice and clean! I don't ever mind sitting on a bench in a high traffic area or wearing DS in my mei tai while he nurses, but sometimes he is too distractable for that or sometimes I would just rather be in a quiet place rather than out in the noisy mall. To me, as long as the room is well taken care of and no one is made to feel like the have to go there, then I think it's a good idea.

[Sagesgirl]

Clean + shy mama = good.

Dirty = bad.

Nicest room in the known universe + attitude that you must nurse there = bad.

Every time I see a nursing room in the vicinity of the ladies' room, I am motivated to move out into the store/mall/whatever and nurse elsewhere. The toddler, preferably.

I have nursed in the ladies' lounge inside restrooms in some of the nicer department stores though. So long as they are clean and comfortable and obviously multipurpose I am happy.

[firstkid4me]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

Clean + shy mama = good.

Dirty = bad.

Nicest room in the known universe + attitude that you must nurse there = bad.

Every time I see a nursing room in the vicinity of the ladies' room, I am motivated to move out into the store/mall/whatever and nurse elsewhere. The toddler, preferably.

I have nursed in the ladies' lounge inside restrooms in some of the nicer department stores though. So long as they are clean and comfortable and obviously multipurpose I am happy.

[GiggleBirds]

I think it is nice to have a quiet place to rest with your baby, free from distractions and whatnot.

But only if it's a nice room, and yeah, if they don't expect that you MUST nurse in their, segregated away!

[quaz]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

Clean + shy mama = good.

Dirty = bad.

Nicest room in the known universe + attitude that you must nurse there = bad.

Every time I see a nursing room in the vicinity of the ladies' room, I am motivated to move out into the store/mall/whatever and nurse elsewhere. The toddler, preferably.

I have nursed in the ladies' lounge inside restrooms in some of the nicer department stores though. So long as they are clean and comfortable and obviously multipurpose I am happy.

Ditto also.

The other thing to add... my youngest HAD to have quiet or a cover to nurse when she was tired. She wouldn't nurse otherwise.... too much stimuli for her to calm down to latch. It took her a while to outgrow that, so until then I needed a room, or needed my sling as a cover. She typically did better in a quiet room, though.

Tammy

[angington]

I agree with the pps that said they would rather it be called a "mother's room" or maybe "baby care room". That way people don't think you have to nurse in there only. At the least it should be clean and there should be a changing table, a sink and a comfortable chair.

[njeb]

To the OP: If I were you, I'd file a complaint about the condition of the nursing room with the mall management. There is NO excuse for a filthy nursing room!!! Let them know that you will not shop there until its condition has improved. If they know that a dirty nursing room is affecting their bottom line, they will listen.

I agree with the PP's who have mixed feelings about them. On the one hand, some babies go through a distractable phase where they can't nurse out in the open; there are just too many interesting things and people to look at! My second went through that, and a secluded, quiet room was a godsend. I can also see using it if you also have a toddler or preschooler to take care of, and you don't want him/her running all over the mall while you nurse the youngest.

On the other hand, I don't like the feeling of "you MUST use the nursing room," especially if ff mothers are giving their babies formula all over the place, and especially if the one nursing room is small, dirty, and in a hard-to-find location on the other side of the mall.

I hope you file a complaint. You will benefit many other mothers and babies, too.

[rmzbm]

I think it's nice to provide them, but not to EXPECT mothers to use them.

[mama in the forest]

I think I am actually going to file a complaint. I've been thinking about it & it was so overtly dirty that even one of my kids peeked in there & said, "yuck".

Also, I was thinking about ff mamas......would they find a room like this discriminatory? Would they wonder why a breastfeeding mother was deserving of a special room like this?

I think it should be called a "mother's room" rather than a nursing room. I think it would slightly help to eliminate the notion that a breastfeeding mother HAD to use the room, and it would offer any mother a private space if her children were at a distractable or rambunctious age. Gee, do you think they'd like my additional suggestion to buy a new sign?

[Voltige]

When I was a brand new mother and still getting the hang of latching my infant on, the "mother room" at our mall was so ideal. It is large, comfy, and clean. I was comfortable going out because I knew I could retreat, relax, and maybe chat with another nursing mom.

As ds has grown, I have become more and more comfortable NIP. I don't even think twice about it now. But yea, that "mother room" was nice. I would use it again, if we happened to be right there when ds signs "milk" or when I have a newborn again.

[maxwill129]

Originally Posted by CJ 5

I think moms with more than one baby like a nursing room so the toddler can run around while you nurse.

That's why I like them! Then I don't have to worry about my 3 and 2 year olds running away from me while I nurse!

Shannon