A question for restorers...

[Daisie125]

I'm just curious if any of the men who are restoring (wives of restoring men are welcome to answer too!) have talked with their parents reguarding their decision. If so, how did it go?

My DH plans to tell his mother when he has completed the process. He's not mad at her, and doesn't blame her in any way, but he wants her to know she made the wrong choice. (DH and his mother are VERY close, it would not be strange at all for them to have this coversation)

I'm just curious if anyone else has faced this. Any advice for my DH?

[AXEius]

i dont think i ever told her outright. I did suggest to her it was possible to restore and had already talked to her about being upset about being circumcised. She told me she was sorry and wishes i could have not been circumcised. She belives that the hospital where i was born and intended to have me adopted from circumcised me without asking her.She has seen many circumcisions since my birth (she has been an RN for 20 years now i think)and would never circumcise another child of her's if she could still have children. She is digusted that circumcision still happpens and that it is even allowed. As far as suggestions as to brining it up; were always a pretty open family when i lived with her so one day i just brought it up while were were sitting around watching tv about how i though circumcision was wrong and it was mutilation and it went on from there. Congrats on the restoring by the way!!

[carolhagan]

My husband is in the process of restoring, and he could never tell his mother this. She is just the type you would never mention HER mistakes to. (however, she happily will point out your mistakes)

I think it's great if you husband can talk to his mother about it. Perhaps she can educate someone else along the way.

[ShaggyDaddy]

I think one of the main reasons I was mutilated was because my mom would rather sign a paper with a blind fold on than talk about genitals.

When my grandmother asked, in front of my parents, how we would do the circ what with the home birth and all I said "Oh there is no way he is getting circumcised"

That is the most my family has talked about genitals in my entire life (well besides screaming at my nephew every 3 seconds for touching himself when he was a toddler ).

[phatchristy]

Hmm..well, I don't think the inlaws are going to bring it up at all. Not the type.

My FIL peeked over when DH was changing our son's diaper last month. He must have noticed that our son has all parts of his penis (DS has a wonderfully long foreskin...makes up half his penis length).

I don't think they would EVER bring it up, maybe they'd assume that DH wasn't happy about being circ'd or more likely they would just assume that it was my influence.

They know I am VERY well read and make my choices very carefully for my family.

If they ever pushed me or asked me about circ/etc. I would flat out tell them everything though . I am open and honest and would let them have it : . Of course, emphasizing that all the information now is available, as it wasn't when they had him. Sigh. MIL has some serious emotional/psychological issues and I would prefer not to send her into an emotional breakdown (which happens occasionally...long story). Boy did I pick a family to marry into :, my whole life it seems like nothing is easy. I believe in reincarnation, and I am most certainly sure after I'm done with this life it is my last!

I have the distinct feeling that I have "been there, done that" way too much, and that there is just too many horrific and horrendous things done in the world that I just can't stand hearing about.

[Yoshua]

I haven't been restoring for 6 months or more now, but I plan on starting again.


2 or 3 months into restoring the first time I told my mom and she got defensive with all the reasons why she had it done. Main one being her uncle was drafted into the army and the army cut his penis when he was enlisted at the age of like 19 and she didn't want to see her boys go through that.

The others being that the doctors convinced her it was healthier.




But since I told her and given her more 'true' information she has become quite the intactivist herself. She has even saved a foreskin in the family by relaying her story and how she wished she'd never done it.

[phatchristy]

Yoshua--

On a side note, how are you doing restoring? Do you find it is helping at all. My DH is very slowly restoring (doing a lot of manual here before we dive into purchasing something or taping).

I think we started back in February. I can say I notice some big differences in him and his responses. Including the fact that I can do more things with it that just weren't physically possible before. He's definitely has more sensation as well, and is...umm...louder . He went into it not really expecting anything...more or less humoring me. He's been pleasantly surprised at what sensations the sliding skin gives. And that's without 24-7 coverage, so I can imagine it's going to get even better

[saturndude]

One guy's perspective

I found out at 39, and I was *_really_* upset with my mother. Sex is a special gift / how dare you take it away, I was born with it so it must be good, etc. Frankly, it was one more way she could get on my nerves (in addition to the Mars / Venus thing when we talk).

I mentioned it to her quite a bit in that first week or so. She did send me an e-mail from work (I live at home) where she asked forgiveness and for me to not be so angry. She said she was acting on the best info she had at the time (cleaner) and only wanted the best.

I've mentioned my determination a couple of times when she has seen my 'equipment' lying on the bed some months ago (I tug at night, I'm always careful, and I've never had a problem).

I don't think she thinks about it, really, anymore. Personally, I gained skin in the first 6 months or so (second half of 2005), with no progress since then. It's nice to have some slack, but I'd like to be covered, at least while flaccid. I formally stopped November 1. Ten months of no progress tells me it's time for a different device. I'm getting some money together now.

As for the wife, I have none. Never married.

If all else fails, I can go with manually tugging on it for 15-30 minutes a night.

My 2005 stats:
Miles on 2001 Saturn SL2: 4,500
Miles on 1981 Honda CM400T: 5,197
Bone marrow transplants: one
Value of restoring my foreskin: PRICELESS

[BamaDude]

I know the absurd reasons why I was circumcised, but unless the subject of foreskin restoration comes up in front of my Mom, I can't really picture myself telling her I'm restoring.

As for Dad, in almost forty years I've only had two sex-related talks with him, one of those being initiated by me asking him why he insisted on having me cut at birth. I can't picture telling Dad I'm restoring, either.

[Bartock]

Nope, he will never tell her and no he is not mad at her.