Having a hard time dealing with the anger.. - Page 2

[mamakay]

For me, it really hit me like a ton of bricks for a while. I wanted to go picket hospitals, and beg and plead women going in to deliver not to do it.
I wanted to storm into the circ rooms in the hospital and strangle the OBs doing this.
I seriously felt a tad mental for a while about it.
It's still sort of surreal to think that right now....this very moment...just a few miles down the road, there's a baby strapped down, screaming, being mutilated.

But...
WE ARE WINNING THIS ONE, Y'ALL!
I repeat...

WE ARE WINNING THIS ONE.
If the national average was going on 50% several years ago, I bet it's below that now. Intact is officially in style. It's what 'enlightened' parents do.

So even when you can't see that you're having an effect, you are.

[finn'smama]

Originally Posted by mamakay

For me, it really hit me like a ton of bricks for a while. I wanted to go picket hospitals, and beg and plead women going in to deliver not to do it.
I wanted to storm into the circ rooms in the hospital and strangle the OBs doing this.
I seriously felt a tad mental for a while about it.
It's still sort of surreal to think that right now....this very moment...just a few miles down the road, there's a baby strapped down, screaming, being mutilated.

This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling. I lose sleep over it too. I am actually really happy to read this thread, so I know I haven't gone nuts!
I find it so frustrating because I just cannot see the other side of it...I cannot fathom how anyone with a brain in their head can defend this practice and often I find out people who I assume would be anti-circ are totally ambivalent about it: .
Thankfully, I do live in a low circ area (although the local hospital does them), but I recently found out a friend of my sister's (who I really liked) circ'd her baby and now I am actually afraid to run into her, I am so upset about it. I am scared to see the baby because I have never actually seen a circ'd infant and I think I would probably cry....

[DocsNemesis]

I have dumped a lot of friends over this issue as well. I, like many of you, just cannot stay friends with someone who knowingly did that to their son. Its just sick. I do have a couple of friends who circ'd well before I knew them and have been completely willing to listen to me and realise that it wasnt the best choice. They just didnt know before. And I have remained friends with the lady I donated my eggs to-primarily because I want to encourage her sons to sue as they get older. But ohhh, so many people have I had to just walk away from over this. Even if they ignored ALL of the other info, just the fact that it isnt their penis should be enough, IMO.
I am so sorry that some of you have had to deal with people who seem to think you being upset with being circ'd as an infant makes you mental or something. You certainly are not alone in this. Just the sheer number of men who are restoring shows that. I guess I am sort of lucky in that my dh is VERY anti circ and totally gets it-he was the one that introduced me to the real horror of RIC. My first born is intact (purely because medicaid was no longer paying for it) and I didnt mind at all, but I hadnt really understood until I met my dh. And the first time I actually saw a circ on video-oh wow. I still cannot understand how a parent can watch that and be ok with it. Bleck! Anyway, my dh is very outspoken and tells everyone he can not to circ, that its sick, and that he, as a circ'd man, is very angry it was done without his (and in his case, his parents) permission. Again, I feel that he is rather lucky in that his parents have always told him what happened and that they feel awful about it (which may very well be part of the reason he is so angry over it)....I can imagine how awful it must be to have your parents tell you you're just overreacting or something.
This might seem weird, but I have repeatedly talked about it to my mom and she has always told me that if I had been a boy, I would have been circ'd. And when I ask if, knowing what she knows now, would she be sorry, she always says no. And that just pisses me off to no end! Sorry for the rant....

[quarteralien]

Wow, thanks Amber for this thread. I thought I was the only nutcase! I've pretty much felt like everyone here. I left my son intact because I couldn't see a good reason one way or another, and thought you can always do it later if need be. I am so grateful DH and I came to that conclusion. The more I learned about it, the less sleep I got knowing that this is being done everyday to these poor babies. But while it totally changed my perspective and my relationship with people, it was also the springboard that led me to question other things: hospital birth, vaccinations, formula feeding, "conventional" parenting. And I too have had DH tell me I can't change the world. And like Blarg, I can't understand why he doesn't feel violated for being circ'd. His mom commented on our leaving DS intact and said they felt badly for circing his older brother, but felt the boys should match Anyway, I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. Wish we were all friends IRL.

[DocsNemesis]

Argh, I hate that too. I have heard quite a few parents say, oh, well, we realised that it wasnt necessary, but we wanted them to match. Ok, I know some of the parents who think this are really trying to do the right thing, but many are so laze about it, I think its just an excuse.
Dh is circ'd and his younger bros arnt. His younger brothers dont see a problem with it, but my dh is mad. Is that a bad thing? I dont think so-after all, now he is an intactivist and will never circ one of his own sons. And since he is circ'd but has been around intact penises all his life, I think it gives him good credibility.

[darsmama]

Count me in.
You know I am a fairly easy going person. I understand what works for me, may not be someone else's 'perfect'.
Vax your kid? Fine, your perogative. Voluntary c-section at 37 weeks? Sure, I may scoff a little, but if you are my friend I support you.
Formula feed your kid from birth? Sad for the baby, but not a deal breaker or loss of respect from me.
I am the type of person that I feel horrible for the moms who DID circ their kids before they knew better or were strong enough to stand up for their child and themselves. I think about them when I read these threads and hope they somehow find peace.
Ok so got it? I try and be a good person with respect to people and their choices.
Which is exactly what CIRC ISN'T.

I will walk out of the room in anger, shaking and upset after an encounter with a person who 'thinks' they are educated, spouting their crap, pro-circ'ers who see absolutely 'nothing wrong' with this issue.
Citing smelly penis', or 'ugly' peni.

EVEN IF THE SMELLY/UGLY PENIS BIT WAS TRUE
HOW CAN YOU NOT BE OUTRAGED that this is done on BABIES without being put under or even more common (and barbarically) without anesthesia?!

I agree, to me being friends with someone is pro-circ would be like being friends with someone who was a blatant racist, a child rapist, a crack dealer on the street.

I just can't compute that anyone would do this to their child and push it for everyone.

Even with all the injustice in the world, this is a pretty damn big RED FLAG in our back yard that we need to deal with.

[Ivan's Mom]

Originally Posted by trmpetplaya

This issue has changed how I look at people, how I look at our culture, and how I look at other cultures. I can't see a little boy without wondering and hoping that he's intact.

This is my big one too! : I feel so sorry for babies and children subjected to genital cutting. I keep thinking of the poor baby in the circ video that has that damn clamp on his penis and is lying there in shock with his sweet head turned sideways. Who the f#$% could subject their darling sweet innocent child to that? It makes me fighting mad.

We must all FIGHT for the rights of children in our own special way. NEVER shut-up about it. The children are counting on us. :

[jyurina]

Of course it changes your life. Anytime people decide to stand up and challenge the status quo they comeup against legions of others that don't want to see/feel that they have done wrong. You end up standing up to friends, family, people in positions of authority because you are moved to speak for those that cannot speak for themselves. It can be scary. And I know for me it was heartwrenching to have people whose opinion I respected become angry, accusitory, or just mean about htis. Be strong-it gets easier to take with practice.