My edits for realism, theoretical only not for actual use!
When I went for my 38-week appointment, my OB said the baby was getting too big and I’d never be able to have him naturally if we waited too long, so we should induce soon. I was already a couple of centimeters dilated, so he stripped my membranes and told me to go to the hospital the next day to be induced.
My induction started the next morning at 5am with the nurses giving me an IV. I was a worried about how I’d eaten a large breakfast because they told me I shouldn’t eat anything, but they told me that was probably okay and shouldn’t cause problems. I asked when I could have my epidural and we all laughed.
They monitored the baby for a while then they hooked up the Pitocin. My back hurt, but I knew I had to stay still to make sure monitor belts would work right and my baby would be safe (dh thought the monitor machine was cool). I got a shot of Demorol at about 8am and napped a bit. At 10, my doctor came in to check on me. He watched the monitors for a few minutes then said that I wasn’t contracting enough and to turn up the Pitocin. He also checked my dilation and I was already to 4 centimeters! After they turned up the Pitocin they brought in the anesthesiologist and I didn’t even have to ask for an epidural—I love my OB! Those contractions were *really* painful for awhile, don’t ever let anyone tell you differently, epidurals are the *BEST* *DRUGS* *EVER*.
My mom and dh got some lunch around 1pm while I took a nap.
At around 3pm, my OB was getting worried about my progress and told me I might need a c-section if things didn’t start going faster. He broke my waters to help get things going. I was really hungry, but he said it was dangerous to eat in case I had a C-section, so I could only have ice chips. We all watched some TV until my doctor came in about 8pm. He checked me and said I was only at 6cm. He said it was dangerous for my water to be broken for too long and turned up the Pitocin all the way.
I LOVE my anesthesiologist. The monitor said the contractions were really strong and I couldn’t feel a thing because he kept my epidural topped off. Dh and I made jokes about how intense they were. It was kind of weird to watch my belly move and not feel anything.
By 10, I was finally at 9cm. I was going to see my baby soon!! All of a sudden, the monitor started beeping. The nurses came rushing in and said the baby’s heart rate was dropping and we’d probably have to have a C-section. The doctor came in and said the baby would die if we didn’t do a C-section right away. So I signed the papers and half an hour later, my husband was holding little Ethan: 7lbs 10oz, 21.5 inches long!!!
His APGARs were 5 and 9 which was so Ethan went off to the NICU to be checked out just in case and I went to recovery. The doctor came and checked on me in the recovery room. He said we had a problem called cephalopelvic disproportion, where Ethan’s head was just too big to fit through my pelvis, and that it’s a very common problem now because people are healthier and they grow bigger babies than they used to. He said all my babies would have to be C-sections no later than 38 weeks, because if I go into labor, my uterus could rupture and both my baby and I would die. I don’t care, the important thing is a healthy baby and at least things won’t be all stretched out “down there” and I can pick the baby’s birthday.
After a few hours, the nurses took me to my room and I got to try nursing Ethan. They warned me that my milk wouldn’t be in yet, so I could nurse him to get the hang of it, but I’d have to feed him formula until it came in, so he didn’t starve. After I nursed him, Bob got to give his son his first bottle! They were so cute together—my men! Then they took him back to the nursery so I could rest. It was almost two in the morning by then, so I was tired!
My whole family came by to visit us in the hospital. It was annoying because I was still tired from the c-section, but I wanted everyone to be able to see Ethan as soon as possible. When Ethan was three days old, it was time to go home.
*******This would be where a birthstory would typically end
The nurses gave us a bunch of free formula because breastfeeding didn’t seem to be working. It hurt when he latched on and he just gulped down the formula afterwards, some babies just need to eat more. I don’t really mind giving up breastfeeding. This way Bob can take some of the night feedings and it’s important for him to be able bond with Ethan too.
********This would be mentioned in a thread where someone asks for breastfeeding help.
About an hour before we left, the doctor circumcised him. He was only gone about 15 minutes, and he was sleeping when he came back. The nurses said he slept right through it and didn’t feel a thing.
*********This would be in response to someone who was concerned about doing circumcision.
The bit about the OB saving the babies life would come about if someone mentioned any of the following:
inductions leading to c-sections
use of pitocin
It would go along the lines of:
"I think that all that matters is having a healthy baby. Ethan would have *died* if we hadn't been in the hospital with my OB. My OB saved my baby's life and I'm not about to risk the lives of any of my future babies."
And the SIL comment would be if someone asked about homebirth:
"My SIL is one of those crazy homebirthers people. She actually tried to tell me homebirth was safe when she *knows* my baby's life was saved because I was in the hospital. Besides that, how are you going to get an epidural in a homebirth? No one should ever give birth without an epidural."
Isn't it reassuring to know that these are montages and not what any one person really experienced?
I'd love for someone to get inspired and do the waterbirth at home parody.