"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"
Sorry, should have said that I wanted to see a *montage* of home waterbirths.
(A parody of mainstream birth would *definitely* offend people.)