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Modern Birth Story - Page 3

post #41 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lousli View Post
"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"
: : :

Sorry, should have said that I wanted to see a *montage* of home waterbirths.

(A parody of mainstream birth would *definitely* offend people.)
post #42 of 53
I have heard almost that whole story from my SIL. One thing she said which stood out in my mind though was; "It's a good thing that I didn't eat. Because I would have DIED if I had eaten because I had an emergency c/s"
post #43 of 53
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lousli View Post
I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!
OMG, that is hilarious!
post #44 of 53
i've heard a lot of women say they wanted to kiss their anesthesiologist after getting the epidural - and really mean it, too... there seems to be some kind of a sexual moment there that would make a very authentic detail.

for the breastfeeding part, maybe something about trying to breastfeed but then the baby's not gaining, and they are told they are starving their baby and they're being selfish.

oh and of course after the c-section... that she never expected it, never read that part in her pregnancy/birth books, but the baby is healthy and "that's all that matters."
post #45 of 53
It's scary how real that montage is! But, well done.

On the reverse side, I think a water homebirth parody story would be great! I can't write right now but I have a few suggestions for elements of it:

Calls contractions "rushes" or "expansions" and never feels a bit of pain
She lives in a commune
She feeds farm animals and does gardening during early labor
Has sex with her DP in active labor
She takes a walk outside naked
Candles catch something on fire
She chants some utterly hilarious birth mantra
Mentions an epidural in transition and everyone laughs
Birth tub springs a leak
The midwife arrives late
Eats the placenta, a big bloody hunk of it right after it's out OR does lotus birth
Starts nursing right off and the baby NEVER, EVER unlatches in first few weeks, plans to nurse til age 12
post #46 of 53
I think parodying an "all-natural" birth would be funny too. Nothing wrong with laughing at ourselves, as well.

That last list made me think of "Spiritual Midwifery and some of the birth stories therin. I know they were using the language of the time, but for someone who was born in 1982, the language and some of the concepts are, well, "way out".
post #47 of 53
Quote:
"I love being pregnant. I always feel like such a goddess and earth mother when my body is filled with life, this is what I was made for! So of course I was a little sad when I started contractions, knowing my beautiful pregnancy would soon be over. I wasn't tired of being pregnant at all, even though I was 47 weeks and 4 days when the contractions began. I just hoped my baby would be the full 15 pounds 10 ounces I've been planning on!"


I think that's what some people actually "hear" when I talk about pregnancy and birth. To them, 42 weeks and 10 lbs is just as crazy sounding as the parody. :
post #48 of 53
I must have told you my first birth story

Seriously...pitocin, cytotec, epidural, formula. We also did the bouncy seat, Baby Einstein, solids at 4 months...and oh, I read Babywise when I was pregnant with my second :

You forgot our first round of immunizations!

It's amazing how much things can change in just a few years.
post #49 of 53
I don't know how many times I have heard that.... However, I think you have the baby size too big, for a lot of mainstreamers anything over 7 is huge.
post #50 of 53
Crunchy-mama, you're absolutely right. To match better with actual birth stories, the first bit has to read "When I went for my 38-week appointment, my OB said the baby was getting too big and would probably be 9 pounds if we waited too long, so we should induce soon" and then at the end the baby's weight should be given as 6 pounds 9 ounces.
post #51 of 53
Wow. As I was reading the OP, I had this sinking feeling and I caught a glimpse of my face. Weird plastic-looking smile thing going on there...

if that's what I look like when I hear modern birth stories IRL I really should stop it. I don't think that face fools anyone.
post #52 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Natural birth stories tend to be longer with lots of details. That's what make them so much more fun to read.
I've noticed that! I think it has to with the sense of empowerment, not to mention general knowledge about childbirth . A lady on a mainstream board I frequent just posted a story scarily similar. She was a week away from her due date and her baby was measuring a little small...so her doctor stripped her membranes??!! :
post #53 of 53
other than the induction, you basically wrote my first 2 births, which ended up as c/s's. i tried more with bf'ing my first but believed the drs. the 2nd time around when they told me i couldnt bf.

i am SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY I foud MDC!
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