It's been a long, long time since I've written, so I thought I'd stop by just to say hello.
My life got really busy and complicated and unpleasant for a while. DH and I made our big move to Vermont at the end of August and I then went through a relatively serious period of depression. See, DH didn't have a job and wasn't actually working on getting one. He was, as far as I could tell, just sitting around acting like a giant child. This is not something I was capable of dealing with ... we had just moved to a new city where we know exactly two people, I started a new job, I'm trying to get our apartment set up, and I'm carrying our first baby. Not the time for me to be taking care of him ... he should be taking care of me! I cried every day for a while, totally freaked out, yelled A LOT, even called a divorce lawyer to see what leaving him would entail. It was pretty intense.
But then I came to a decision. See, we have enough savings to get us through the baby being born. Money is actually less of an issue than I tend to make it out to be (I'm a total drama queen when it comes to anything financial). And right now I actually need DH to be around ... there's a lot of getting ready stuff that I'm simply physically incapable of doing, and I don't want him to miss any midwife appointments, and I would really like it if he and I could spend some time working on OUR issues before the baby shows up. So I told him that, for just right now, he should not worry about getting a job. I told him that he should consider this a very extended paternity leave, with a very definite end, so that he knows that when the time comes he has to be really serious about getting a job. It was entirely my decision and I actually feel fantastic about it.
And good god, how my stress level has dropped since then!
Now everything has been wonderful. We've been working on preparing for the little one, and talking and walking and cooking food together and just hanging out enjoying our last little while alone, before life changes forever.
And I am so excited to meet this baby! It feels totally surreal that it's going to actually be showing up sometime in the relatively near future. I keep hoping that it'll be here early, but I also know that I'm very much enjoying the time I've got right now. Besides, this is my last week at work before maternity leaves and if I can just make it through that would be wonderful.
So there's my update. I'm unbelievably happy to be in a place again where I am emotionally capable of writing and actively participating in our little tribe. And what an exciting time too! I can't believe how many babies are already showing up ... makes me excited and proud.
My life got really busy and complicated and unpleasant for a while. DH and I made our big move to Vermont at the end of August and I then went through a relatively serious period of depression. See, DH didn't have a job and wasn't actually working on getting one. He was, as far as I could tell, just sitting around acting like a giant child. This is not something I was capable of dealing with ... we had just moved to a new city where we know exactly two people, I started a new job, I'm trying to get our apartment set up, and I'm carrying our first baby. Not the time for me to be taking care of him ... he should be taking care of me! I cried every day for a while, totally freaked out, yelled A LOT, even called a divorce lawyer to see what leaving him would entail. It was pretty intense.
But then I came to a decision. See, we have enough savings to get us through the baby being born. Money is actually less of an issue than I tend to make it out to be (I'm a total drama queen when it comes to anything financial). And right now I actually need DH to be around ... there's a lot of getting ready stuff that I'm simply physically incapable of doing, and I don't want him to miss any midwife appointments, and I would really like it if he and I could spend some time working on OUR issues before the baby shows up. So I told him that, for just right now, he should not worry about getting a job. I told him that he should consider this a very extended paternity leave, with a very definite end, so that he knows that when the time comes he has to be really serious about getting a job. It was entirely my decision and I actually feel fantastic about it.
And good god, how my stress level has dropped since then!
Now everything has been wonderful. We've been working on preparing for the little one, and talking and walking and cooking food together and just hanging out enjoying our last little while alone, before life changes forever.
And I am so excited to meet this baby! It feels totally surreal that it's going to actually be showing up sometime in the relatively near future. I keep hoping that it'll be here early, but I also know that I'm very much enjoying the time I've got right now. Besides, this is my last week at work before maternity leaves and if I can just make it through that would be wonderful.
So there's my update. I'm unbelievably happy to be in a place again where I am emotionally capable of writing and actively participating in our little tribe. And what an exciting time too! I can't believe how many babies are already showing up ... makes me excited and proud.
