more 12month mark moans (looong)

[isabel rose]

my DD will be one in 12 days: and, although she's had access to solid foods since she was 5.5months old, she's not really eaten that much since she was 7months and decided spoons weren't for her. My Health Visitor said that if I want her to eat more solids I should go away for the weekend & leave her with my mother, and that she should really only be having 1-2 breastfeeds/day (she's on her 5th and it's only lunchtime).
The thing that made me really sad was that this woman has applauded my breast-feeding efforts until this time, to the point of carrying my chubby 6month old through the waiting room and shouting to the assembled crowd "look at the beautiful breastfed baby!"
My mother-in-law thinks I'm wierd, although she tries to be supportive she can't hide the thrill she gets from bottle & spoon feeding my 2 nephews. I nearly cried when I FF the 3weeek old nephew & he nuzzled into my boob looking for milk (his mum gave up after a fortnight because she had a 2 day hospital visit & it was too much bother to get him back on the boob or xpress).
DD eats 3bites of toast, 2 bites of banana or other fruit at a typical breakfast and really seems to enjoy the food, but gets bored and wants a BF before she eats much.
Then the comments about breastfeeding past one just being more about the woman than her child (and stopping at 6months "because I want my body back" isn't more about the woman than the child?)
Questions by friends, who intended to BF 1year, but only made it 9months because their milk dried up just doing 1-2feeds/day "Is she still feeding that much? Oh it must be awful for you! you must feel so tired"
I think people who manage 12months of breastfeeding are amazing, and that even 6months deserves a star: , just because there is such pressure to STOP.
BUT I think 24months is NORMAL and did any of those people, including my mother, who say the WHO reccomendation is for people in Africa, read the section in WHO about malnourished women maybe not breastfeeding as long if they can't be better nourished? Why is BM only good for African babies? (I live with an African woman & she says the most annoying: thing with the West's perception of Africa is that we all seem to think that ALL Africans suffer from famine & lack of clean water, but I digress)
I want DD to cut down on her feeds because I am fed-up with her feeding ALL OF THE TIME, but I want advice on how to cut down, with encouragement to KEEP UP the GOOD WORK, not how to STOP! How to get her to eat more solid food, not how to break her will! I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it because I think it's best for my baby. I do love the bedtime feed with the surge of loving that comes over me as the good old hormones kick in, but I'm hardly addicted!
I don't want to be a freak show, but I guess that's where I'm headed if more people don't start breast feeding for longer:

[Kavita]

Well, I'm across the pond so can't help much with your particular corner of the world, but DD will be one tomorrow and still nursing plenty too. Although she does really like solids and eats lots of them too. I'm lucky that I'm not getting any crap from anyone, but then again we don't have health visitors here. We'll see when we go to our next ped. appointment what if anything she says!

[wendy1221]

(((HUGS))) mama. I'm on my 3rd "still breastfeeding" one year old. My 2nd ds was the only one who was actually eating anywhere near the "normal" amount of solids "they" say babies should be eating at a year. I think those amounts only apply to weaned or ff babies, KWIM? It's perfectly normal for a 1 year old to still be nursing for most of their nutrition. I'm also on my 4th pediatrician and our current ped is the only one so far who has been better than OK w/ my nursing past a year. He gives very good advice. He told me when ds2 was a year old that breastmilk is still the most nutritious thing possible for him to eat and to NOT worry if he didn't eat a lot of a big variety, as he doesn't need either as long as he is still nursing a lot. Ds3 still nurses anywhere from every 15 minutes to every 3-4 hours, depending on the day and how busy we are. His nursing sessions last anywhere from 10 seconds to half an hour or more! Since he is my 3rd, I know this is perfectly normal, but I do still get the urge to cut back and get away. We all get touched out sometimes.

I have been taking a pottery class every Monday for the past 10 mos or so. It's 3 hours long. I used to take the baby in my mei tai, and now I leave him at home w/ dh or with our neighbor (along w/ the older boys, of course.) That 3 hour break every week has been just what I need. And I feel better about nursing ds constantly after I have a little break, whether it's a quick "30 minute drop the 3 year old off at Montessori," or my weekly 3 hour pottery class. (please, other readers, keep in mind our babies are over a year old.)

As for getting her to eat more, just give her small pieces of whatever you are eating, as long as it's not nuts. She's also old enough to start trying to feed herself w/ a spoon (but nothing too liquidy, or it will be too big of a mess! ) My ds3 also enjoys using his baby fork (rounded tines, can't poke himself. ) Ds snacks all day long.

[jyurina]

I have a three year old that didn't start weaning herself till baout 6 months ago. I HAD to cut down for my sanity. There were some days she would be attached to me every hour. So you pick a feed and skip it. Think of all the distracting things she likes and break them out-and offer TONS of snacks. As for the one year perception-well that myths has been around for such a long time that it's going to take alot to dispell it. i just reiterated that she would wean when she was ready-over and over and over and over. Thankfully only some of the family think I and a weird hippy for this and they love me anyway

[siobhang]

My baby turns one on the 10th. He is a BABY. While he loves to feed himself lots of bits and pieces of food, there is no way he could possibly eat enough solids to maintain his hefty 23lb self. He misses his mouth more than he hits, he has no molars (only 6 teeth total) and he refuses to be fed more than a bit or too.

Breastmilk continues to be the mainstay of his diet, as it will remain until he grows himself some molars and increases his hand/mouth accuracy...

I went to a lecture several years ago talking about malnutrition in developing countries. One element mentioned was the high malnutrition rate among 2 - 4 year olds. Before that age, as long as the baby was nursing, the rates of malnutrition were low. Once weaning took place, however, malnutrition rates skyrocket. A lot of this has to do with traditional feeding practices, where toddlers eat last, meaning they basically get the dregs of the meal - no meat, no veg - whatever is left after the men have eaten. One recommendation in the nutrition based child survival circles is for moms to serve special meals to their toddlers to counter this post-weaning malnutrition.

To me, this fact, combined with my own experience with my boys, tells me that breastmilk is a nutritional safety net during the 1 - 4 year period. So many babies are very picky eaters during this time and many foods are still off limits due either to allergy fears or to difficulties in chewing/eating/taste.

For our family, continuing to breastfeed means that I don't have to get worried about how much my kids eat at any one meal, because I know they will always have breastmilk to feed them.

Also, today I have a vomitting 3 year old. The only food/drink he will take is breastmilk. Since he is so sick an so skinny to begin with, the fact that he is still nursing really does make me feel better.

[mamachandi]

just smile and nod and then go do what you want: