Help-I have to make up my mind

[SamGroom]

I am 12 weeks and need to make up my mind. I have always dreamed of having a home birth and have even found the homebirth midwife I would use. But I had baby 1 in a hospital with midwife care. I wanted a natural birth, no meds. But got the epidural. Now that I have been feeling crappy and tired for weeks, I am second guessing myself. I don't want to be in labor and think wow I made a BIG mistake. I know millions of women do it. I guess I just wonder if other moms who had homebirths felt this way in the beginning. I don't want to disapoint my midwife, my very supportive husband or myself. Please Help!!!

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I think its completely normal to have some worries and doubts i had a few myself with my 1st worried i wouldn't be able to cope with the pain but i did and i now have 3 hb under my belt. I've never given birth in hospital so don't what its like but i know howi felt being in there the times i went in with my lo's for monitoring due to mummy to be paranoia and i didn't like it and knew there was no way i could birth there (but thats just me). Just imagine cuddeling up with your new baby in your own bed after birth, not haveing to travel home from hospital after the birth, being able to do what you want in labour e.g eat what you like, move as little or as much as you like, get in positions that make you comfortable rather than positions convienient for a dr. I don't really have a very high pain thresh hold but i have managed 3 births at home without painrelief and i'm sure you can do it too you just need to have more confidence in your body's abillity to birth and bellieve in yourself, just say to yourself "i can do it, i'm going to birth at home and its going to amazeing and i'm going to have my first cuddles with my baby in my own house in my own bed".
hth
take care
Becky

[AllisonK]

Have you talked to your MW about your concerns and fears? Call her or email her. There are a lot of other things that can help you with labor than medications. Research these options and have them so you can try lots of choices during labor. Off the top of my head: position changes, water (birth tub), massage, counter pressure, heat, cold, shower, birth ball. I would read: The Thinking Womans Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and The Birth Partner by Penny Simpkin. These both have a lot of suggestions for pain in labor. Also anything by Ina May Gaskin will have some really empowering birth stories to read.

Also you are only 12 weeks you do not have to make this decision now. You can always transfer into the hospital for pain medication from your planned HB. You cannot however transfer to a homebirth from the hospital when you decided in labor that you should have homebirthed.

[djinneyah]

i had a hosp. birth with my first..

when i got pg with my second, i was excited and looked forward to the birth, because i knew it would be at home, unassisted. the experience really let me reconnect with myself and my body. sure, i was a bit nervous about labor, since every labor can be different, but i knew i could do it. i looked forward to being able to labor on my own without strangers telling me what to do and when, invading my space, etc.

instead of being scared, look forward to the opportunity to listen to your body and follow your instincts.

[Gray's Mommy]

I had a hospital birth with my first son. It was long, drawn out & went against most things on my birth preferences...I am having a home birth this time around. There are some days where I am 100% gung-ho & other days I am scared out of my mind with the *what ifs*. I think it is completely normal to feel this way & I am not changing my mind~
Even if this birth isn't the *perfect* birth, it is going to be my birthing experience & just right for me.

[umami_mommy]

i have *never* wanted to birth in a hospital, so no i never felt like you do.

however, i have of course felt doubts and fears and wondered what the hell i was thinking when getting pregnant. (you mean i have to PUSH this baby out again??? )

i think it's normal to have plenty of mixed feelings about being pregnant, birthing and being a mom again, no matter where you are birthing.

medical environments don't bring me any comfort, so i don't feel pulled toward that when i'm afraid.... i find other ways to comfort myself.

have you read any homebirth or waterbirth stories lately or looked at any of the homebirth video clips on the web? if you go to youtube.com and search for homebirth, you'll find all kinds of stuff.

PS, i don't think you actually *need* to make your mind up right now anyway, do you? plenty of women change providers last minute... i wouldn't wait til last minute to find a homebirth midwife, but you could wait til the last minute to get an OB, right? i mean they would love to hear that you changed your mind about a homebirth lats minute and decided to birth in a hospital.

[ndunn]

I think its totally normal to feel that way. I've only had one birth, and it was at home, but I was scared before because I didn't know what to expect. Yes, it got intense at times, but it all happened so fast and it was such a blur that I really never thought " oh god I can't get drugs".

[saratchka]

Don't feel too much pressure right now. You really do have quite a while, and you can change your mind, even very late in the game with no real problems.

That said, I had a sort of combo experience with my first birth. I labored at home into transition with DH and my doula, then delivered in the hospital. At home I found the pain very manageable. Pressure on my back and a birth ball to sit on were all I really needed to feel okay. At one point I asked my doula how far along she thought I was because if it was going to get much more uncomfortable I might want to consider some pain medication. That was when she told me I was showing all the signs of being in transition!

However, once we got to the hospital, it was much harder to manage the pain. I don't think the physical sensations got much more intense, but my mental state was far less calm, so I experienced the sensations as more painful.

I think had I labored in the hospital I would likely have ended up with an epidural. If I'd labored in the hospital without a doula, it would have been basically guaranteed. At home, it was really quite easy to go without any medication. It's much easier to keep yourself calm and focused in your own place without people poking, prodding, measuring, and telling you what to do. And when you're calm, things just hurt less. I really think you'll do fine at home!

Good luck with your decision!

[MamaSong]

Don't feel rushed Mama! Take your time, listen to your heart and to the baby - he or she will probably help you decide where he or she wants to be birthed. I didn't make a final decision to HB until 7 months into my pregnancy, and I think that is not too uncommon. I loved my HB so much! Good luck to you.

[SamGroom]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I am going to go to youtube now.

[OTMomma]

I highly recommend reading "Ina May's Guide To Childbirth" it totally made me feel better about the idea of homebirth and my ability to birth naturally.