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Julia: A Surprise Unassisted Home Birth Story (gory details included) - Page 2

post #21 of 22
Thread Starter 
Wow, thanks to everyone who read my story and wrote back!

As for being a Really Horrible Mother, it's not something I am proud of, and it actually got worse after Julia was born, there were some really dark days back in October when I did not enjoy caring for my son at all. I couldn't seem to find my feelings of love for him. It didn't help that he has just turned two and EVERYTHING is a battle, all day every day. It was extremely scary and I very close to going to counseling.

Fortunately the bad time passed and good feelings returned gradually, starting with a moment here and there when it actually felt good to be with him. I can remember the moment the tide turned; he fell asleep on my chest while I was lying on the couch, and it felt so good, and waves of relief washed over me. We also had special bonding time at the ER at 4AM on Thanksgiving morning, when he was wheezing and it took 4 hours to find out if he had pneumonia (no) and if not, was it safe for him to fly (yes but not for 24 hours, so our t-day dinner was pizza from 7-11).

Now I think we are doing pretty well; I can still feel the love during his hitting, kicking, biting, running away, whining, and screaming, and during my anger, irritation and frustration.

I am reading the _Raising a Spirited Child_ book and according to it we are both spirited personalities. Poor DH!

-dflanag2
nak
post #22 of 22
WOW! I love your story!
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