First a big
to everyone who posted their stories. It's hard to come out and say what has happened to us, especially if you're saying it for the first time. It's also sometimes difficult to acknowledge that what happened to us is misogyny, it's wrong, it shouldn't have happened, and it's NOT OUR FAULT.
I don't want to go into my whole birth story here, but I'll recap some of the more relevant highlights:
-Met with an old friend at 33wks, to talk about life. His wife had a baby about 18mos ago. At the close of the conversation, he advises me, "Hey, don't be a hero. Take the drugs. Seriously."
-U/S at 39wks when I went to the hospital in a panic for decreased fetal movement; the u/s tech speculated out loud that the baby looked like he weighed 11 pounds and then proceeded to tell us about her 3rd degree tear and 75 stitches with her first baby. "you better hope you get a section, girl! labor sucks!"
-Telling the L&D nurse during my induction that I wanted to be informed every time she turned up the pitocin drip, to which her response was to turn the machine's indicator lights away from me. I mean, the whole conversation started because I told her I didn't want her to turn it up at all ... she says ok, well the Doc told me to, so let me just do this one little thing here *beep beep beep* and I'll go ask the doc if it's ok to let you go at this level. Of course, when she left, I asked DH to tell me what the number was on the drip indicator, and of course she had turned it up already.
-While trying to have the first of an eventual three epis/spinals, my field of vision went blurry, i got dizzy, my heart rate soared, and I could hear my pulse in my ears. I reported all these things to the anesthesiologist, who said nothing and continued pushing the needle. Then I heard an alarm go off behind me. I said, "what's that? what IS that?" and the same L&D nurse said, "don't worry about that, honey, it's just the machine that tells the doctors what's happening".
-the MW who caught my ds yanked on the cord to deliver my placenta. at least she showed it to me. and at least i was nursing ds at the time.
-I was railroaded and bullied into signing the consent form for circ. I told them numerous times during my hospital stay that I would not be consenting to circ, and that if my husband were to sign the consent form that would be the only way they could do it. They waited until they knew he was gone for a few hours, until I was at the height of postpartum hormones and out of my MIND on percocet, to come round and tell me it was the last thing they needed to do before they could sign off on my release, it's really no big deal, etc etc etc. That's still my biggest regret.
And I had it WAY better than most. The efm never picked up my contractions, which is why they kept pushing the pit level higher and higher even though I kept telling them, no, you're wrong, I'm CONTRACTING, I swear ... I was extremely lucky to have had my dh there with me, keeping me within myself enough to push ds out instead of giving up and taking the section, which is sooo what they wanted me to do. Oh, and I was a screamer ... and the one L&D nurse who tried to shut me up, let me tell you, she got an earful of the highest order of profane blasphemy. I'm not sure she even knew those words COULD go together.