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anyone raising their children "unassisted"? - Page 3

post #41 of 93
My sons were all born at home with midwives, they have not been vaxxed, I have never really had reason to have a Doctor. I have seen an ND a couple of times and my middle son recently broke his foot skateboarding so I took him to an Urgent Care Facility. I am an herbalist, and have studied homeopathy for over 15 years, I also do energetic healing with an EPFX/SCIO device. Sometimes it does feel neglectful of me when I am filling our forms to not have a Family Doctor but I think that is just mainstream thinking seeping in. We do have insurance if we need it.

Healing Blessings,
Traci
Mom to 3 homebirthed boys 16,13 &11
post #42 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by majazama View Post
(emphasis mine)

Do you mean pink eye, or stuff like that? or serious eye injuries? My kids have had pink eye a few times, and we took care of that at home. Cold black tea helps to dry it up, and chamomile helps too, as does homeopathic pulsatilla.
i mean crossed eyes, strabisthmus, ambliopleia, and a myriad of other genetic eye conditions that can impact vision and require surgical attention (crossed eyes, etc) and possibly eye glasses.
post #43 of 93
We've been to a Dr. a few times-- all my boys were circ- so for that,
oldest got pneumonia when he was 2 and I didn't know what to do, my second got an ear infection when he was a babe and I took him for that-- never took him again or any of the others-- finally figured out how to treat it!
Those 2 have also both needed stitches at one point- but the rest of the cuts I have butter-flied- because I think they heal better.
I'm a delayed vaxxer- I haven't had any trouble from the Drs, but the nurses-- (if I homeschooled, I wouldn't vax)
My oldest has asthma, so he's been seen for that. Otherwise we never do Well Child checks-- they can't prove they are helpful... because Moms watch their kids! :-) I've never been called on by CPS- I've actually never worried about it. What are they going to say about the kids health anyway? (when we vax- I just get the shot, no DR)
I do have a Dr. I list when asked for it-- but the kids have never seen her, she is just my DR.
I have studied so much about herbs now that people actually call me instead of going to the Dr-- which I don't know how comfortable I am w/ that= but when it's my mom (she has 6 kids at home still) I know she won't go to a DR, so I don't mind.
post #44 of 93
When it has ever come up that I need to list their Dr. I just put down their chiro's name! They can be a primary care physician!
post #45 of 93
Well, my UC baby has seen a dr. once, and that was at 6 months and ONLY because it was the "last step" to getting her BC. I didn't like that the state made me take her, but I did find (through referrals) a really awesome AP/NP friendly ped.

Aside from that,, we are very UN everything...we're even unschoolers!
post #46 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by jiva View Post
Our grandmothers knew what to do to treat all kinds of stuff...my mom remembers what her mom did for her when she had German measles...and no dr. was involved. It worked then, why not now?
In my family lore we have *what to do for diptheria*, so I totally get how cool it is to have that sort of knowledge! (for anyone wondering...a film/membrane grows in the throat, closing off the airway...my great grandfather, a chiro in his later days, stayed up with the ONE (of seven) daughters at home that got diptheria, stayed up all night, all day, and would check her throat when her breathing got bad, and would clear the membrane with his finger when it had grown)


We saw an ND when DS was new, and saw her until his 1st birthday. But then she never billed for that visit, and that just made me angry (to have that $100 debt out there is annoying, and she's put me off from paying for various reasons a few times, too). And I didn't really know why we were seeing her, other than she just LOVES him...seemed odd to pay her $100 every so often so she could coo over him, though.

He has been sick a few times since our last visit with her, but there's been nothing that bothered me enough to take him in.

We took a year to find a dentist intelligent enough to work on my son, who did have definite needs to see a dentist. We finally found one, and inside the last 3 full weeks he had 2 fillings and 2 extractions, and now he's done with that until/unless something else crops up (I might do the routine dental things with him, since he's shown some problems with some teeth already).

We see a chiro and I don't consider that to be "assisted". I'm a chiro myself, but I can't adjust my own spine, and I'm too emotionally close to DH and DS to work on them, so we see my friend when we want to, and it's all good.


With a future baby, I probably would see the ND once, just to get established with her so we can call her if we wanted to (she was helpful when DS had a febrile seizure with his very first fever, and she was helpful to call when he smashed out a tooth at 6 months), but beyond that, I'd choose when to see her.

I consider all that to be unassisted, b/c we've made the decisions and haven't let anyone bowl us over, in direct opposition to our behaviour when I was pg (thought I was being strong, but I soooooo was not).
post #47 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
i mean crossed eyes, strabisthmus, ambliopleia, and a myriad of other genetic eye conditions that can impact vision and require surgical attention (crossed eyes, etc) and possibly eye glasses.
does that run in your family or something? I'm not a huge fan of glasses. I believe that they weaken the eyes. I have some, but only use them to watch movies/t.v. and driving.

yeah, if my kid had some sort of genetic anomaly, I might want to get that fixed. I know a woman who had her first baby at home w/ her mom only (awesome lay MW) and when the baby was born, all of his intestines were on the outside of his body, so they had to go to the hospital to put him back together. They think it was because of an ultrasound at 8 weeks gestation that that happened to him, but that's another topic entirely.
post #48 of 93
I only go if we really have to, if I cant clear up what ever it is at home. Other then that my children have never had to see a doctor more then two times.
post #49 of 93
I would say we do...as much as possible.

Don't do "well child checks" etc.

DD went over 4 years before seeing a Dr. and the one she saw does herbs and acupuncture.

However, I do reserve MD's for emergencies...like severe life threatening illness and other sicknesses that last for more than 2 weeks.

Mary
post #50 of 93
I don't want to take my next baby for well-baby check-ups either, but I would like to ask if anyone knows what to look for to make sure everything is okay? I wouldn't want something to suddenly come up, and then have a doctor tell me that if I'd have brought him in for a well-baby check-up, they would have been able to diagnose it and treat it earlier...so is there anything I should be looking for, with a newborn, that would require me to bring him in (besides the obvious like not breathing or broken arm, lol)?
post #51 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery View Post
I don't want to take my next baby for well-baby check-ups either, but I would like to ask if anyone knows what to look for to make sure everything is okay? I wouldn't want something to suddenly come up, and then have a doctor tell me that if I'd have brought him in for a well-baby check-up, they would have been able to diagnose it and treat it earlier...so is there anything I should be looking for, with a newborn, that would require me to bring him in (besides the obvious like not breathing or broken arm, lol)?
maybe a MW supportive of UC would be good to answer this one.

but I do know some things...
-sacral dimple that goes in too far, leaving the nerves exposed
-high palate, tongue tie
post #52 of 93
I prefer having a midwife partner during pregnancy and birth and especially postpartum but Dh catches and I run the show so I feel like UC defines my births. My sons 1, 2, and 3 have never seen a doctor for "well baby" or illness but my oldest son had a minor surgery at 20 months. We don't vaccinate or believe it would be helpfull to see a MD.
post #53 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by majazama View Post
does that run in your family or something?
yes. i have it, my sister has eye problems, my mother, my mother's mother, her father, her father's mother, etc.
post #54 of 93
m hasn't seen a doctor since he was 1 day old. we delay and selectively vax and won't start until he's over 1. we see an orthopedist semi-regularly because k has cysts in her tibia. otherwise, we keep it down to emergencies only.
post #55 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
yes. i have it, my sister has eye problems, my mother, my mother's mother, her father, her father's mother, etc.
Oh I'm so sorry you have genetic eye stuff. My cousin's father's family does, they have congenital cataracts running in the family. When my cousin had her baby, she already knew there was a 50% chance that he would have them, and she told the doctors ahead of time, but still, they FREAKED out. Congenital cataracts are soooo rare, and no one is ever expecting them, even, it seems, when the mother is borderline legally blind and wears extreme eyeglasses because of them, and was part of the *research* on how to surgically help the eyes (back in the 70s and 80s)... The doctors came running down the hall to inform her of the cataracts. My aunt stepped in and told them that they knew, that he had the same look of "stars in his eyes" that my cousin had.

Anyway, it's hard to find GOOD people* for that; I hope that you have had good luck in assembling a GOOD team of people to help, should the conditions continue to be passed down.



*for instance, my cousin already knew that the experts were at a semi-local kid's hospital. she took her son to "the best" pediatrician in town, one that the moms were clamoring to see. he took GREAT offense that she wouldn't take his advice on her boy's cataracts, and that she was waiting to fix them until a certain point (on the research and knowledge-based advice of the experts), and from that point on seemed to delight in "finding" preliminary findings of all sorts of very rare and bizarre problems with him. none of which were actually true. they FINALLY dumped him, went with a "lesser" (in the eyes of her friends) ped, and now has a good relationship with someone, rather than the combative thing she had going with "the best".
post #56 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by jiva View Post
By that I mean, without a doctor.
So how many of you also take an unassisted approach to your children's healthcare? We chose UP/UC for our son and are doing the same for our current pregnancy. Our son has never seen a doctor...however, I know we are lucky, he is almost 20 months and has had only 2 minor colds and 1 fever (that he slept off in 3 hours). I'm an herbalist and feel confident in dh and my ability to treat most things and we consider our grocery and health food store spending to be our healthcare costs. Anyone else like this? Just curious!
jiva
We do, too. And we plan on unschooling.

We see a chiro sometimes, and since dd1 has genetic eye issues, we are working with an OD we trust who doesn't recommend surgery for dd's strabismus. Everything else is herbs, homeopathy, quality food, etc.

MDs really only seem to be useful for true medical emergencies, imo.
post #57 of 93
We do too! DD had seen a pediatrician as a newborn baby and received 1 vax at age 2 (I regret it, delayed and limited vaccination is STILL vaccination) but from the time she was 2 onward and my 2 ds do not go to the doctor's. I don't think they are good at keeping people healthy. We do go to the chiropractor, but other than that we eat healthily and I'm a natural health "junkie", my dc are rarely sick because of it and I am confident in helping them be healthy. However, I do feel there is a place for doctors, such as for mending broken bones and things like that.
post #58 of 93
Hard experience in our lives as adults has taught us that it is good to have a relationship with a member of "the system" before anything severe enough to necessitate involvement with that system comes up. When specialized care is needed, the difference between the treatment you get when you can reference a primary care physician and when you can't is striking. A lot of people on here talk tough about OBs or allopathic and general being "only for emergencies, and in that case who cares about the details?" - but in reality, walking into urgent care, L&D or what have you with no prior history of "care" (yeah I know their "care" sucks but that's kind of irrelevant) is the best way to get screwed in terms of both quality of care and possible interference in your home and family. If you are going to WBVs with a provider who you fear may give you trouble over your lifestyle choices, you are at your leisure to quietly seek another provider. (And really...honestly...unless you are indiscreet and confrontational to the point of pure stupidity, the chance of getting reported for differences of opinion on the care of your WELL child that you have taken the time to bring to appointments is close to nil.) You won't have that luxury in the emergency room at 3 AM when your child has an illness or injury and there you are in your raggedy sweats with your hair uncombed and no verifiable evidence of providing care for your child, looking for all the world (to their untrained eyes) like an uneducated, neglectful yokel. Better to waste a little time nodding and smiling through pointless WBVs with the least objectionable ped you can find, during the day when your kid is doing fine and you have control over the impression you make. That way if a serious health problem does come up, you have not only CYA'd, but you have a relationship with a provider who can hopefully shepherd you through the system of specialists, etc. (Of course this perspective will not be shared by those who are lucky enough not to have learned that nutrition is not a failsafe prophylactic against disease and that serious health problems don't only happen to the despised "mainstreamers.")
post #59 of 93
GalateaDunkel~ What happened? Did you read all the posts on this thread before spouting off your fear?

I do not only use 'nutrition' to keep my kids healthy. There are so many things that I do (or don't do) to make sure they have strong immune systems..... I have a sense for health. I have a lot of knowledge of herbs, and all sorts of healing methods... reiki, homeopathy, flower essences, and on and on....

It's failsafe, to me, barring a major illness that I don't know about. and if they did get some weird illness, I would just research it, figure out how they are imbalanced, and go from there. If they couldn't breathe, or something weird like that, I would definately go to the hospital. If it kept hanging on, and I couldn't heal it, I would bring them to a naturopath, or an ayurvedic/chinese healer.

I think if you post again to this thread, in 20 years, I will tell you that my kids have still never been to a medical doctor!!! they are healthy as horses.

I prefer to not live in fear for my choice to not bring my kid to the (practically useless) doctor. If I go to the hospital one day, I will not be investigated, because why they heck would they do that? I guess you are refering to american hospitals, hey?
*I* do have a doctor though, that I got because I want an IUD. If I had to go to the emergency room all disheveled with my hair up in curlers and everything, I would just say their doctor is that one.

My mom actually, was the one who started me on this type of thinking (waddya know, apple doesn't fall far from the tree) When I was growing up, my brother and I almost never went to the doctor. Why not? because we weren't sick, and if we did get sick, why would my mom bring us to the doctor, just so all the other people in the waiting room would catch it??!? She didn't know much about herbs, and healing methods like I do, but we would have chicken noodle soup, and ginger ale, and just wait it out. But then, when my brother got hit in the head playing street hockey, we brought him to the hospital to get stitches. there is a time and a place for allopathy.

Women who are smart, and strong enough to take care of their families themselves, should be applauded. What has this world come to?
post #60 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by majazama View Post
GalateaDunkel~ What happened? Did you read all the posts on this thread before spouting off your fear?
Yes, I read the entire thread. I was not the first to mention the CPS issue. When I wrote that I was specifically thinking of at least one pp's comment to the effect that going to WBVs would be imprudently "flaunting" their lifestyle. If you are going to be paranoid, at least be rationally paranoid. Sticking one's head in the sand is not a rational strategy. I had a very negative experience after entrusting my pregnancy to an alternative practitioner and getting caught with my pants down when I had to enter the mainstream system with no pre-existing contact person. The point is - knowing that the system is out there - and knowing that the chance of having to use it at some point approaches 100% (no amount of flower essences and homeopathy is going to magically prevent accidental injuries - I was using "nutrition" as a catch-all term because I believe it is the most effective modality) - it is unadvisable to deliberately refrain from establishing a friendly contact within that system. Many of the poor - the people who really have no option but to walk into the hospital with no prior history - would be amazed at the luxury of our philosophical discussion over whether to establish relations with a primary care physician.

As to the rest of your post, the hubris of thinking positive outcomes are one's reward for doing everything right is par for the course on Birth and Beyond. In sincere goodwill I hope that your beliefs on this point are never put to the test. Mine were, and for reporting what I learned from the experience I routinely get flamed.

Not really digging your negative comments about my nationality, though. Or are you suggesting that it's somehow irrational to make decisions in light of social conditions in the country where I actually live?
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