Doctors and a child's weight issues???

[Zonie]

This is a quick question from a co-worker...

She had her 9 year old daughter in for a check up and shots this morning. Her daughter is thin, and she is a dancer, (dances six hours per week, and competes) BUT she eats like any other pre-teen. She eats quite a bit, but it is fairly healthy, with some junk food.

She is in the 75th % for her height, but only the 35% for her weight. Her mom says she has always been tall and thin.

BUT, the doctors gave her the third degree and implied that she is one of "Those" moms who would withold food to keep her daughter thin.

Of course this offended her.

Her question is: Is this a normal line of questioning? Is the doctor out of line?

What if her daughter were too heavy, would they still have a conversation about being heavy? Or is being overweight more acceptable than being "too thin"?
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This is from me: I don't think the child looks too thin. She si thin, but doesn't seem TOO thin. She plays outside a lot, she dances, and walks to and from school every day. I think if she didn't have these activities, she would be heavier. But, don't we want our kids to have physical activities?

[Pandora114]

It's a damned if you do damned if you dont situation.

If the girl was on the heavy side, the Dr would be concerned

It's just plain stupid. I'm sorry...she should tell her Dr to suck snot. There's a difference between slim and healthy and anorexic. Yes lots of teen/preteen girls are becomming anorexic, but know what, it's because of UAViolation Drs like himself casting self doubt on the girl's self esteem.

Momma should sit down and tell her daughter she's beautiful and healthy and wonderful just the way she is, and to not listen to that UAviolation Dr.

Momma knows her kid best, and the best way to head off an ED is to positively enforce that self esteem.

[maryeliz]

I think it comes down to a matter of tone. If the doctor had a harsh or condescending tone with the mom, I can understand why she was put off. But otherwise, I think this is a perfectly legitimate line of questioning. It is the doctor's job to talk to parent and child about proper nutrition, warning signs of eating disorders, and moderation in physical training and diet. And I think doctors are constantly raising these issues with parents of heavier kids, so I wouldn't say there is a double standard in this situation.

[34me]

I agree that it damned if you do damned if you don't. I have a 10 yo old boy who plays competetive hockey. He too has the same %iles as your co-workers dd. I have to slip protein powder into everything as he is not a good eater. He eats a variety of foods just not the quantity to keep him on the ice for 6-8 hours a week. If he was a girl I bet the dr would think eaing disorder but since he's a boy (who often comments about being fat) there are no concerns.

[4evermom]

I have a friend whose middle child is very thin. She likes to take the sisters to the appointments so the doctor can see that she feeds her kids.

[Peony]

I'm a thin mom who was thin as a chld, and dd1 is very thin as well. I remember when I was getting a physical for sports while in school, I think it was 9th grade, the MD accused me of being anorexic. : She never bothered to look up my previous records that would of shown me as being thin my entire life. I ended up leaving that appointment in tears after being badgered the entire visit by her, she even told me she was going to check my gag reflex, she was so convinced that I threw up my food. Needless to say I do not allow docs now to harrass me about dd1's weight, she is perfectly healthy, I know that, I don't need someone else to tell me otherwise.

[CarrieMF]

I think that dr was way out of line. Not all kids can be in the 50+% weight range. There has to be those in the bottom of it.

[twilight girl]

I also think the doctor was out of line. And I'm a mama to a 95th for height and less than 50thfor weight 4 yr old. When mine was an infant she hovered down around 3rd for weight. They tried to give me grief at first, have me supplement with formula, etc. But, she was always happy, hydrated, alert and meeting miletsones. At 2 yrs old she made a huge leap to 6th! She is built like her father, tall, thin, and she has his metabolism and is very active. This is her normal.

If your friend has her daughter's percentiles from younger years, perhaps she ought to slap the doctor around with them so he can see what is normal for this young girl. I understand that eating disorders are a concern, however, if the doctors had no other history for this girl, where exactly do they get off berating the mother?

Perhaps your friend should report them to somebody?

[Dakota's Mom]

My granchildren have the opposite problem and yes, they are harrassed by their doctors and the school system for their weight. DGD is 7 and DGS is 9. They both are slightly overweight but not obese by any means. Every time they see the doctor thier mother is yelled at for feeding them too much. And the school sent home notes that they need to be put on diets. I'm sorry but you don't put a 7 year old on a diet. They eat well, get excercise, what more do they want. DGS recently had an appendectomy. About four weeks later he was in gym class for the first time since he went back to school and he began to have stomach pains. They gym teacher who knew about his surgery looked at him and said, "You're just out of shape stop crying and run." She had no concern for him at all. They got report cards the other day and his said that he was not up to grade level in gym. Come on he's been out of gym for six weeks because of the surgery. (Two weeks out of school and then four more weeks out of gym.) How could he be up to grade level when he has missed more than half the quarter? Kids need to left alone.

Kathi

[Mirzam]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

I think that dr was way out of line. Not all kids can be in the 50+% weight range. There has to be those in the bottom of it.

:

My DS is 75th percentile for height and 25th for weight and while he is picky, he certainly doesn't have an eating disorder. He is a strong, healthy, bright, skinny boy.

[kewb]

Definately damned if you do and damned if you don't. For the last 2 years the ped has been on me about my dd's weight. She is at the top of where she "should be". My dd is beautiful, active and healthy. My ds was the same way at her age and he never said boo about his weight. I called him on his gender discrimination.

As long as her dd is eating well and is healthy and active I say poo poo to the dr.

[MidwifeErika]

My kids are on the opposite end... short for their ages, but heavier. Not overweight, but heavier than average. So, I get doctors or nurses who give me a hard time about what I feed them. They assume that because I am fat and my kids are on the heftier side of average that we must eat McDonalds for every meal or something. I am just telling this to illustrate that there can be negatives on each side. Thin kids and they think you don't feed them, heavier kids and they assume you fill them with junk. The doctor was out of line.