How do you do it?
A note on my philosophies : I largely try to avoid punishment unless agression or deliberate destructiveness is involved. I am not at all averse to positive re-inforcment or even infrequent, judiciously used, bribery ( I can be bribed- not to do something that goes against my values, but to take on unpleasant tasks. Just dangle some chocolate in front of me
)
I have three kids- DS, 9, DD, 7 and DS 4. All are in at least one activity and are homeschooled. I work PT at my church and sometimes take the kids with me, but leave with DH when I can. I try to plan activities when DH can keep the uninvolved kids or shopping when I can go by myself. This doesn't always happen though.
A typical week for us:
Monday Get up and try to do some schoolwork before leaving at 10 to do yoga at the house of another homeschooling mom. The kids get ready quickly as they adore her kids. The problem had been getting them to leave but when I explained I would rather not go than struggle to get them to the car they got ready to leave more co-operatively.
DD has ballet at 4. If she has a "watch day" (first class of month now, but in Jan-Mar she will be doing RAD exam prep and every class will be watch class) I need to get all the kids out the door by 3:15 so I can drop them off at DH's work and get her to class on time. If I am not staying to class we leave at 3:40.
Tuesday No activities so far, but I will be joining a Tues afternoon Bible study soon. They will have a playroom at the host mom's pace to be entertained in. I work 1-3 Tues eve a month.
Weds I work three Weds a month. Two I do childcare for the MOPS group. DS1 goes to stay with a hs'd friend those days and the other two go with. They are in a different class from me.The other is church staff meeting and they go to a sitter. I work Weds evening, usually taking only one kid with. During exam practice DH will take DD to extra practice classes while I'm at work, so I will have to take both boys with me.
ThursNothing during the day. I work in the eve, usually taking 1-2 kids with. I admit, I will judge that on "Did this kid drive me nuts today?". At least they serve supper at church so I get out of that duty for the day.
Friday Library at 11 ( leave at 10:30) and right to homeschool potluck. They usually do pretty well but 4 yo DS does not always want to get dressed when asked. I usually get angry about that.
He also has periodic tantrums at the library. Again with the potluck I usually have tho threaten not to go next time to get them to leave.
In the evening I shop by myself or if I'm lucky, get to go out with my best friend.
Saturday DS2 has ballet at 10 and DS 1 has guitar at 10:30. I spend an hour and a half just driving between the two places! At home I try to catch up on housework.
Sunday Church. I open the nursery at 8:15. DS1 and DD go to choir at 9 but that 45 minutes is really hard on DS1. We had to write up a Sunday morning contract. He frequently has the chance to go home from church woth his best friend but must earn it. All go to SS at 9:45 then church at 11. Ds1 is ok at the service b/c I let him read, and that always makes him happy. DD is pretty squirrely and DS2 can be outright uncontrollable. ( Nursery cut-off is 4th birthday, and believe me, if I had the power to raise that age I could). He can earn toys ( not new ones, ones that have gone to the "penalty box") or Tootsie Rolls for not having to be taken out of the service. The church stuff, of all the stuff in our week, is the most non-negotiable. If I could afford not to work Sunday AM I'd shorten the day for us but we I can't afford to give up any hours.
Important note- DH isn't at all on board with GD. We call the half hour after he gets home "time out time" because he constantly has them in the corner for things that he believes "they deserve to be spanked for". TOs may not be the ideal, but they are a HUGE concession for DH. I have to take what I can get.
Whew. I need help here. Unfortunately, I don't think reducing our schedule will work. It's not just my schedule here, it's all my kids, and I have to make it all work. I NEED my kids to co-operate, and I prefer us all to be pleasant about it ( myself as much as them, if not more so)
A note on my philosophies : I largely try to avoid punishment unless agression or deliberate destructiveness is involved. I am not at all averse to positive re-inforcment or even infrequent, judiciously used, bribery ( I can be bribed- not to do something that goes against my values, but to take on unpleasant tasks. Just dangle some chocolate in front of me
)I have three kids- DS, 9, DD, 7 and DS 4. All are in at least one activity and are homeschooled. I work PT at my church and sometimes take the kids with me, but leave with DH when I can. I try to plan activities when DH can keep the uninvolved kids or shopping when I can go by myself. This doesn't always happen though.
A typical week for us:
Monday Get up and try to do some schoolwork before leaving at 10 to do yoga at the house of another homeschooling mom. The kids get ready quickly as they adore her kids. The problem had been getting them to leave but when I explained I would rather not go than struggle to get them to the car they got ready to leave more co-operatively.
DD has ballet at 4. If she has a "watch day" (first class of month now, but in Jan-Mar she will be doing RAD exam prep and every class will be watch class) I need to get all the kids out the door by 3:15 so I can drop them off at DH's work and get her to class on time. If I am not staying to class we leave at 3:40.
Tuesday No activities so far, but I will be joining a Tues afternoon Bible study soon. They will have a playroom at the host mom's pace to be entertained in. I work 1-3 Tues eve a month.
Weds I work three Weds a month. Two I do childcare for the MOPS group. DS1 goes to stay with a hs'd friend those days and the other two go with. They are in a different class from me.The other is church staff meeting and they go to a sitter. I work Weds evening, usually taking only one kid with. During exam practice DH will take DD to extra practice classes while I'm at work, so I will have to take both boys with me.
ThursNothing during the day. I work in the eve, usually taking 1-2 kids with. I admit, I will judge that on "Did this kid drive me nuts today?". At least they serve supper at church so I get out of that duty for the day.
Friday Library at 11 ( leave at 10:30) and right to homeschool potluck. They usually do pretty well but 4 yo DS does not always want to get dressed when asked. I usually get angry about that.
He also has periodic tantrums at the library. Again with the potluck I usually have tho threaten not to go next time to get them to leave.In the evening I shop by myself or if I'm lucky, get to go out with my best friend.
Saturday DS2 has ballet at 10 and DS 1 has guitar at 10:30. I spend an hour and a half just driving between the two places! At home I try to catch up on housework.
Sunday Church. I open the nursery at 8:15. DS1 and DD go to choir at 9 but that 45 minutes is really hard on DS1. We had to write up a Sunday morning contract. He frequently has the chance to go home from church woth his best friend but must earn it. All go to SS at 9:45 then church at 11. Ds1 is ok at the service b/c I let him read, and that always makes him happy. DD is pretty squirrely and DS2 can be outright uncontrollable. ( Nursery cut-off is 4th birthday, and believe me, if I had the power to raise that age I could). He can earn toys ( not new ones, ones that have gone to the "penalty box") or Tootsie Rolls for not having to be taken out of the service. The church stuff, of all the stuff in our week, is the most non-negotiable. If I could afford not to work Sunday AM I'd shorten the day for us but we I can't afford to give up any hours.
Important note- DH isn't at all on board with GD. We call the half hour after he gets home "time out time" because he constantly has them in the corner for things that he believes "they deserve to be spanked for". TOs may not be the ideal, but they are a HUGE concession for DH. I have to take what I can get.
Whew. I need help here. Unfortunately, I don't think reducing our schedule will work. It's not just my schedule here, it's all my kids, and I have to make it all work. I NEED my kids to co-operate, and I prefer us all to be pleasant about it ( myself as much as them, if not more so)
!
