: Okay, I guess I'm going to get flamed but the question is about what do WE (DH and I) feel about our own kids, so here goes: My DH stays home because we did both work at one time, and yes we felt that other people were raising our son.
This is when DS1 was a baby and DS2 was not born. And what I mean by "rasing our son" is that other people got the majority of our son's time and attention.They also got to make all decisions in his day-to-day life.
I'd often not see him AT ALL for several days at a time because he'd go to bed so early during that time period. So we (and I mean DH and I, because I hold fathers to the same standard as mothers) had no imput in his life, other people made every possible choice for him that you can think of. What he ate, if he ate at all, when he slept, if he slept at all (because my mother watched him sometimes and she's kind of crazy
: and most days would not let him take a nap). So we had no influence over him at all. Anything and everything was left up to others, except for 2 days a week. We didn't want to be 2-days-a-week parents so we knew one of us had to stay home and the other work (which makes child raising a team effort between the 2 of us without other people being involved).
Plus we just don't believe that it takes a village. Or more accurately, there just is no village. Care providers were just our employees. Sometimes it was family, but most of the time we were paying someone to be a babysitter. There was nothing more to it than that.
And I have to say that as soon as we got him away from other care providers, his temperment improved dramtically for the better. Once he was being raised the way we wanted him to be, he was obviously happier.
And one more thing, Do I feel like I was I raised by my school since I spent 8 hours a day there for 13 years? Yes I do think I was raised by my school. They influenced me a lot more than my parents could ever realize, in ways that my parents did not want, and would probably be really mad about if they knew. Just basic core beliefs that you think the parents would have the right to decide, but really it was the school and school teachers who were teaching us what to believe. They also decided what we ate, when we ate, when we slept (for younger grades), what we learned, when, and how, anything and everything was up to the school, not my parents.
So anyway, that's our personal experience.