birthday parties-- big or small?

[eldadeedlit]

OK I need some advice here.

My son will be turning 4 in December and we are going to have a party for him, probably early December for his friends. I suggested to him having a small party and only inviting like 5 kids, including only his best friend from school and then a few other people we know from outside school that he really likes to play with. He wants to invite everybody he knows... All of his friends from outside of school and all of the kids in his class, too. But that would make like... 15 kids and their parents in our house, which I think is too much. I think he would have more fun if just a few kids came. What do you guys think? Should I do what he wants since it is his bday or do what I think would be more fun and keep me more sane? Is it even ok to just invite one kid from school? I don't want to offend anybody..

Thanks.

[MommyHawk]

we just did DS's 3rd Birthday and it was way too much! too many people, to much money...only one child RSVP'd but we ended up with about 35 people in the house and 12 kids! I really REALLY think that next year we are going to say 'friends only' and no sisters/brothers, and maybe a 'drop off' party where only the kids are there and no adults (except myself and DH) for about 2 hours of child fun and then they can be picked up. I say this because I felt like while I was trying to entertain the children I had to entertain the old fart parents that were just sitting there like bumps on a log! I just can't stand people who sit and stare at the wall..especailly after I spend all that money and time on food and everything else!...the party was yesterday...can't you tell??!!?...:

So I am all for having 5 friends only, and keeping it to the friends, not the entire family. If you have a big family (like mine) that will come too, you can always go out to a restaurant for a family dinner and then have a kids party at home or at a park.

[girlsmamma2]

We are having dd's 4th b'day party next Sunday. She decided she wanted to invite 4 friends, 3 of which are coming. This is a first attempt for us at a party so I am pretty stressed but also excited. We also will be having the parents, one sibling and her grandparents. In all our count is 6 kids with 7 adults. We are just letting them play, decorating cupcakes, eating cake and maybe a treasure hunt or something. Pizza too. It's our first try at this so I'll see how it goes. In our case, she didn't want to invite the entire class as she's only close with a couple kids. I kind of wish I'd have decided to have it at a pottery decorating place or something but think I will do that next year. I'm kinda stressed about having all those people in our house. I would never have had her entire class here. I requested no gifts but I know some will bring them so we'll open them during the party but save the family's gifts for afterwards or even before.
I read that big parties are really way too much at this age, even if they are off site. Like pp said, parents just tend to stand around and gab and not watch their own kids so if you do it i'd make it a drop off maybe and maybe ask a few friends of yours to help?

We came to the decision this year that a party including her whole preschool class wouldn't be as fun because I think all the kids would end up spliting off into their tuypical friends and she usually only plays with a couple kids in her class. It would have been nice to have everyone wish her a happy birthday though personally when they left. that would have made her feel special...hmmmmm now i'm thinking about that!

whatever you decide your ds will have fun! good luck...and no stress vibes coming your way!

[**guest**]

If you could secretly invite just the one classmate, I would do that.

My ds turns 4 in December too. I won't be inviting anyone from his class...He's not really close to anyone at school. He really only has one friend that he truly enjoys. I have no idea what we're going to do for his birthday. It's just before christmas so it makes it tricky.

[PiePie]

I vote for small

I like your instinct. My personal rule is the age the child is turning plus one. I agree with the PP that it can be too overwhelming to have too many kids in the house. Remind him that if he wants the focus to be on him, that becomes less likely when there are that many more people. Also, try to gin out of him what the appeal to him is of so many more kids -- more presents? If it is just that he genuinely likes those kids, you could use it as a list for future 1-on-1 playdates.

[rubelin]

the best rule for parties I've heard is to invite as many children as the age of the birthday child. So, 4 kids for a 4th birthday, etc.