What do you wish you would have known? - Page 2

[IntuitiveJamie]

I wish I had known that after laboring and delivering over the toilet, I could take myself and the baby (still attached to the placenta, still attatched to ME), to the bed and lay down to relax and nurse so maybe the placenta would come out easier. it was the hardest part of labor for me and I still don't know why. The placenta hung on, by just a little bit for another hour. I couldn't really focus on the baby or get comfortable anymore sitting on the toilet. I so wish I hadn't just gone to the bed like I saw my friend do in the same situation. Then her placenta came out nice and easy and her and the baby were just cuddling and nursing.
NExt time I'll know!

[lanielayne]

First birth (hospital): I wish I had known that they would ignore my birth plan and do things even if I was telling them no, like screwing a piece of metal into your unborn's head. Also if your are in extreme pain and want to change postitions do it even if they say no.

Second birth (mw homebirth): Don't invite your family to sit over you like a watched pot. You will agree to interventions that you wouldn't have done normally. Also even "hands-off" midwives can make suggestions that can intefere with how you want to birth.

Third birth (UC): If you push hard and fast, you can get a really big tear! Luckily those tears also heal all on their own.

[Seie]

For my first (hostpital) birth I wish I had known

That even though you feel relaxed and happy with your "conscious self" then your subconscious and your body can still feel extremely intimidated and hindered by the presence of strangers or even just by someone who is not needed.

That breaking the water doesnt necessarily mean that you will dilate faster - even if it is broken when you are 8cms dilated and in transition..

That home IS the best place to birth

THat transition is not always over fast, but can last for hours and hours.

For my second (home) birth (solo during labor, but with MW present from crowning onwards) I wish I had known

That yes - it IS possible to have a 50 hour first birth and a 1,5 hour second birth.

What the difference between active and expectant management of the third stage is, and that I could have safely refused active manegement (pitocin, abdominal massage and cord-pulling)

That I had told DP where to find towels and blankets and what to do (get them) when baby was born. (or maybe I did tell him, and he was just confused ?)

[mommacanary]

I saw that many of you said to eat and sleep as much as possible in early labor. I think that is a great idea.

I had a question. My cousin had a hospital birth but she waited till the last possible moment to go to the hospital. She said in early labor she couldnt sleep and any thing she ate she threw up. I thought maybe this was because she was scared about going to the hospital? Has anyone else had this happen?

She wasnt able to eat for a day and a half. She was really tired and worn out by the time the baby came.

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

1) What do you wish you would have known/been told about before your first birth? Were there things that scared you because you were not prepared for them? Or things that surprised you?

Relax, it's just birth!
I was so excited about being in labour that I didn't relax! I skipped meals, didn't sleep when I should have/could have and it ended up giving me maternal exhaustion 44 hours down the road. I still ended up with a natural birth, but I know I could have avoided that (ETA: Um... could have avoided the 44 hours part, not the 'natural birth' part!!) had I just relaxed about it all!

Originally Posted by mommacanary

2) What do you wish you had know/been told about before your first UC? Were there things that scared you because you were not prepared for them?Or things that surprised you?

Don't overprepare, just know what you need to because really when you're in the midst of it it's easier to get through than you'd think.

[augustacherri]

1) What do you wish you would have known/been told about before your first birth? Were there things that scared you because you were not prepared for them? Or things that surprised you?

There are two things that really stick out in my mind that I wish I would have known before. (Hospital birth) 1: I wish I would have been more thoroughly aware how scary transition can be if you're not expecting it. I wish someone would have explained to me that it is very common for women in transition to think they are about to die and that that usually means the baby is coming quite soon. 2: I wish someone would have told me how great pushing can feel. I was quite shocked when pushing in front of several strangers, flat on my back with a giant spotlight on my hoo-ha that I felt like I was about to have a tremendous orgasm. It was sort of embarrassing because I felt like a total freak. I didn't know that some women experience pleasurable sensations then. I would have let myself enjoy them more had I known in advance.

2) What do you wish you had know/been told about before your first UC? Were there things that scared you because you were not prepared for them?Or things that surprised you?

Don't know yet--due in about 3 1/2 weeks or so.

Good post! I like reading all your responses--reminds me that I'm not alone!

[frontierpsych]

Ooh, finally! I see a lot of threads like this on mainstream boards, but this one has been a lot more helpful to me personally since the other boards tell you what to expect the doctors to do and stuff. I've read so much that I've heard all kinds of great advice-- I'm a tad past my due date now with my first, and the two times I've gone into false or prodromal labour (four or five hours at a time) I've had pretty strong contractions and constant back labour, but still been able to relax pretty well. I can't wait for my baby to get here, I'm thinking of sticking a cookie in my panties as a bribe.

[palamala]

question 1= I wish I had known that homebirth isn't illegal. In 1998, when pregnant with my first, I had a dream that I birthed her alone and put her to breast with a full set of teeth. Of course everyone laughed and said you can't do that.
My plan for natural birth in the hospital resulted in a nightmare induction. I was determined to birth med-free so I endured hell to get her out. All ten pounds of her. She went to nicu for two and a half days, they said she was breathing fast and had fluid in her lungs.
DS 1 was also born in the hospital. I refused the evil pitocin when they told me that my contractions weren't strong enough to push out a baby.

question 2- I wish I had not been so set on my plan for dh to catch. I was very excited for him to receive his gift from me, but, when the time came, he was in another room with ds1. I was really enjoying labor when I went to pee and whoa, there's a baby. I roared for dh, but, I really wanted to kneel on the floor. It all worked out great, though, and dh is one proud papa. Next time, I'm catching!

[majazama]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

I saw that many of you said to eat and sleep as much as possible in early labor. I think that is a great idea.

I had a question. My cousin had a hospital birth but she waited till the last possible moment to go to the hospital. She said in early labor she couldnt sleep and any thing she ate she threw up. I thought maybe this was because she was scared about going to the hospital? Has anyone else had this happen?

She wasnt able to eat for a day and a half. She was really tired and worn out by the time the baby came.

hmmm, I never got that urge to throw up in labour. I don't think everyone does. I ate right up till my uc baby was born. I was drinking/eating miso soup (very digestable)... I could also sleep in early labour with both of my babies.

Maybe your cousin couldn't sleep/eat cause she had to go to the hospital and was scared, I don't know.

[lanielayne]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

I had a question. My cousin had a hospital birth but she waited till the last possible moment to go to the hospital. She said in early labor she couldnt sleep and any thing she ate she threw up. I thought maybe this was because she was scared about going to the hospital? Has anyone else had this happen?

She wasnt able to eat for a day and a half. She was really tired and worn out by the time the baby came.

I have heard of this happening to a few women. Labor is different for everyone. Usually throwing up happens in transition, if it is going to happen, but some may do so earlier. If this happened to me I would do what I could to stay hydrated. As far as sleeping goes, I have never been able to sleep once I thought labor was under way. I just get too excited.

[mommacanary]

I thought of another question.What foods are good to eat in early labor? Are there some things that are easier on the tummy? What foods did everyone find were good to eat? What foods were maybe not to good to eat?

Thank you all for your great answers. When I start feeling nervous I read this thread and it calms me down. The more I learn the more relaxed I feel.

[RAF]

Well, I was one who posted about not eating enough early on in labor. By the time I got to the point where I was exhausting from lack of food, I was too sick to eat. The thing that was my life saver, although it probably sounds weird, is raw, dried kelp. I purchased a bunch of seaweed to eat for the high mineral content and ate bits of it through the end of labor, and although it doens't have much calorie-wise, it gave me a big burst of energy after every time I snacked on it. It also didn't make me queasy.

[CAUCmama]

I've heard eggs are good but usually by the end of pregnancy the very thought of eggs makes me gag. I found I wanted freezing cold ice water to drink, peanut butter sandwiches, and mashed potatoes. And even if you throw up, at least mashed potatoes are easier to barf than other things. =)

[2much2luv]

I'm another one who wishes she'd eaten and slept during early labor! I think the thing that made my UC birth long and hard and very painful was that I hadn't eaten or rested in so long.

[majazama]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

I thought of another question.What foods are good to eat in early labor? Are there some things that are easier on the tummy? What foods did everyone find were good to eat?

miso soup My DP makes me soup both times I've been in labour. The first time, he put tonnes of cabbage in it, and I wouldn't recommend that cause it makes the boobs super duper full (ouch) and can be irritating to new babies tummys.

[lanielayne]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

I thought of another question.What foods are good to eat in early labor? Are there some things that are easier on the tummy? What foods did everyone find were good to eat? What foods were maybe not to good to eat?

I ate peanut butter crackers and grape juice. It was so yummy at the time!

[Mummytwice]

I wish I had had this thread to read with my first!

So glad I have it now!

[Spark]

1. I wish someone told me to check out www.spinningbabies.com and make sure I fully understood it. For my first birth, I thought I wanted a lot of people around. The MW, apprentice, my partner, my mother, my grandmother, my MIL, my SIL. At the time I thought it was great that they could all be there. Learning more about how I birth best, I learned that the fewer people the better.

2. I haven't had a UC in the strictest of senses. I'd say the closest I got to UC was an unhindered birth (MW downstairs for the last 45 mins of my labor). I think what I wished I had known was how wonderful not having anyone around is. I labored for 30 minutes of my 1 hour, 40 minute labor all by myself and it was wonderful. I got things ready, posted online, got the camera, birth supplies, labored. I loved not having anyone watching me or guaging what I should or should not be doing or figuring out anything in their head about my progress. I really loved the little time I had totally alone. It was really nice.

[Spark]

Originally Posted by mommacanary

I thought of another question.What foods are good to eat in early labor? Are there some things that are easier on the tummy? What foods did everyone find were good to eat? What foods were maybe not to good to eat?

I've never felt hungry during labor. Even my 18 hour labor I didn't want to eat. I should have listened to my body on that one. It was suggested that I eat some peaches. I did and then promptly threw them up.

I'm blessed that my other two labors were shorter.

I think, as always, if you let your body be your guide, that's the most important thing. And, if you're like me and highly prone to obeying even the slightest suggestion during labor... make sure there aren't any suggestions to confuse your instincts.

When labor is close, I usually make sure I have some recharge (natural energy drink), honey and a stocked kitchen.

[mommacanary]

Honey. yummm that's a good idea. I would think it would give you lots of energy and maybe not be thrown up?

I have a touchy tummy anyway so I'm gonna have to prob find things that wont make me sick. I guess many women do throw up. But I think thats normal? maybe not it just seems like many women say they do.